Learning how to fly
by Zachura
Summary: Mai Santiago never knew other friends than her twin Marcellus, but her world changes when he is elected into Slytherin and she into Gryffindor. Four boys calling themself marauders helps her through the difficultis and show her true friendship. SBxOCxRL
1. Prologue

Prologue

Lily and James were sitting in their living room in Godrics Hollow, in their small, but cozy house. Harry had fallen asleep only a few minutes previous, and Lily had settled well under James' arm. She smiled up at him.

"This is perfect." She murmured. He smiled his crocked grin and nodded.

"Yeah, it is."

"Do you think Mai found out what happened?" Lily asked. She had been worried about Mai ever since they went into hiding, because they hadn't informed the fifth marauder about what was happening, with the prophecy and all. Then again, they hadn't informed Remus either. Lily was certain that Mai was not the one, who had been an informant for the death eaters, but Dumbledore had been so strict on who to trust, and they had chosen Sirius, but Sirius had told them to choose Peter. Lily trusted Peter, but Mai had time and time again told her not to.

"I don't know. If she figures Sirius know something she is sure to get it out of him. She can read that poor boy like a neon sign, she always could." James answered. Lily enjoyed the rumbling in his chest when he spoke.

"Except about the feelings he had for her all those years." Lily commented. James laughed loudly.

"Yes of course, except that." He said and stroked her long red hair.

"So, you think she knows?" Lily asked again.

"If I had to guess? Sure, she knows. Not where we are, or exactly why, but she knows who our secret-keeper is. I'd almost be a little disappointed if she hasn't figured out yet. We'll have to ask her about it when the danger is over." He said and smiled. Lily nodded.

"I'm just worried she'll take it the wrong way, that's all." She murmured after a few moments of silence. James nodded.

"If it's about Peter, I'm certain she won't let him slip our secret to anyone." James said surely. Lily nodded, having considered the thought possible before, but hearing it from him made it seem so much more plausible.

"I'll go get us both a small glass of firewhisky." James said suddenly and rose, kissing her tenderly on the lips before he skidded into the kitchen. He hummed a light tune from the Clash as he picked two clean glasses out of the cabinet above the sink and was just about to dance back to his beloved as a slight movement caught his eye. He froze and stared out the window. A black cloak fluttered in the wind before it fell silent again. A shiver ran down his spine and he glanced at his wife, cuddled up in the sofa, and the cradle where his young son slept. He had defied the dark lord three times already, which had to count for something.

Perhaps it was his mind playing tricks on him, no one should even see the house, unless… He glanced at his wife again, wondering if he should warn his her. She looked so peaceful, and he didn't want to worry her in case it was nothing. For a split second he could hear Mais' warning about Peters' loyalties and he wondered where he had put his wand. He soon realized that it lay on the table in the living room, and if he went in to get it, Lily would instantly know something was coming. He didn't want her to worry. She worried enough as it was.

So James walked wandlessly out in the hallway, seeing shadows move outside through the small glass windows in the door. He stopped, hesitated, wondering if he should go back and get his wand. If there were death eaters outside he wouldn't get another opportunity to get it. His palms were sweaty and the sweater suddenly felt way too tight around his chest. Fingers curled around the doorknob, and he realized they were his own. Perhaps it was Peter… coming to give them a update on the war, but he could easily have sent a owl. A pearl of sweat ran down into his eyebrow. Finally he thought better off it, and skidded into the kitchen so his wife could hear him. If Mai was right, he would be stupid not to take her warnings seriously.

"Lily, throw me my wand. It's someone outside, get Harry. I'll hold them off!" He shouted. Her green eyes grew wide for a second, before she nodded understanding, tossed his wand to him, before getting on her feet and over to the cradle. James was about to run to the entrance door, before he turned to her angelic face and smiled grimly.

"I love you."

"Don't leave me." She answered. James didn't nod, he didn't answer, he gave her another smile, before he ran into certain death.


	2. Protected from the snake

**1: Protected from the snake.**

**1971 ****First year, election**

"Marcellus Santiago." The middle aged witch with the huge pointy hat and a strict face called. She was rather skinny and looked vile. Mai though she looked like one of those teachers who'll give you hell if you don't do as they say, but would treat you well if you did. Mai patted her twins' back before he made his way up to the podium to sit on the chair and get the election hat placed upon his head. Marcellus was and always would be her best friend, even though they were not the slightest alike in any way. Cellus', (as she used to call him) was olive skinned, like her, but with black messy hair and pale blue eyes, whereas she had dark brown hair and green eyes. Cellus was an athlete, he had gotten his first broom at the age of five and had flown ever since, practicing to be a goal keeper in quiddich, and he was good too. Mai had never been really fond of flying; she had a slight fear of heights and had instead indulged herself in puzzles and books. Cellus' face had never been truly handsome to others, even though Mai thought he looked splendid. His features weren't as sharp as what would be considered handsome; he had more of a face which no one looked twice at. He wasn't handsome, but he was absolutely not unattractive either, he had always had a special charm about him, confidence even older wizards did not have. And Mai noticed also now, that as a freshman, and walking up with his head held high to sit in front of the entire school turned heads. Everyone noticed him, because of the authority he surrounded himself with.

Mai smiled proudly up at Cellus as he took the hat and placed it upon his head. There was a long pause, the entire school seemed to be holding its breath, before the hat yelled loud and clear:

"Slytherin!"

Mais' smile faded like a flower withering in the autumn, and she watched as her twin glanced at her before he went and sat with the cheering slytherins. She bit her lip and followed him with her green eyes, wishing he would at least give her a reassuring smile, telling her it would be alright, that she would be elected in the same house as him. She knew she wouldn't though. Her mother had always told her that she was a Ravenclaw girl, bright as the day. Mai had been so certain Cellus also would be Ravenclaw, or perhaps Gryffindor, but never Slytherin. How could she survive seven years at Hogwarts without her twin by her side, watching her back? It was unthinkable.

"Sirius Black." Said the witch, and a boy standing two spaces in front of Mai in the queue strode nonchalantly up to the podium and grinned at the crowd before he sat down and placed the hat upon his black haired head. The hat had barely touched his head before it shouted out;"Gryffindor!" And the table covered in gold and red exploded in wild cheering. Sirius Black put his thumb up to the boy at the front of the line, before he sat down at the table and fellow Gryffindors patted his back.

"Remus Lupin." The witch called and the boy standing in front of Mai, a short boy with half long, light brown hair and a patchwork for a cloak, jumped slightly as his name was called. The boy walked forward and up to the podium, turning to the crowd and sitting down. Mai immediately felt sorry for him, he looked so tired and worn that she could have mistaken him for being much older than he was. Yet again the hat shouted; "Gryffindor" and another series of cheering filled the great hall, while the other tables clapped politely, except for Slytherin who only scowled.

"Mai Santiago." Mai nodded to herself and summoned a smile from the depths of her mind, and strode apparently confidently up to the chair. She sat down, swiping the hall with her eyes before placing the hat neatly on her head.

"Oh, so many choices." The hat said to her, and Mai felt her hope rise in her chest like an air balloon being provided with more air.

"You would do well in Ravenclaw, but Gryffindor would be nice for you as well." It mumbled. Mai chanted Slytherin in her head, but then the hat laughed at her.

"Oh no, you wouldn't fit in Slytherin dear, I think we'll go with…" The hat paused and Mai looked worriedly at the Slytherin table where Cellus' eyes were glued to hers.

"Gryffindor!" The hat yelled and the Gryffindor table cheered wildly again. Mai walked in pure disappointment down to the table and sat down, receiving the same pats on the back and greeting smiles. She turned to look at Cellus who sat only a few places away, but he was talking with some of his fellow Slytherin freshmen, amongst them a long lanky boy with black greasy hair and a crooked nose, so Mai turned back and could only stare at all the food appearing in front of her, having lost her appetite.

Luckily did Gryffindor and Slytherin have most classes together so Mai could sit with Cellus in their classes, which they did. Mai always joined Cellus at the Slytherin side of the classroom, seeing as all the Gryffindors sat at the right side of the classroom and the Slytherins at the left side. The first week at Hogwarts was all right, even though Mai spent most of her time either in the library or with her twin brother and his Slytherin friends. They didn't seem to mind having a Gryffindor girl with them. Besides she was Cellus' twin sister; they had to treat her right, as Cellus immediately had become the leader of the group. Mai was at the top of all of her classes, and did well in almost everything except for the flying classes. She hated flying, and the broom kept on turning the other way from what she wanted it to, so she more than once crashed into a fellow student. Once she even made Peter Pettigrew crash, to great amusement of Cellus and his Slytherin friends. She hurried over to the short plump boy with the rat teeth and bowl cut, holding her hand out to help him up.

"I'm really sorry, are you alright?" She asked worriedly as he took her hand and she dragged him up from the ground. He looked down himself and seemed to inspect to see if he was hurt or not.

"I'm fine." He mumbled silently and stalked over to his three friends, who were glaring daggers at Cellus' group.

Madam Hopp declared the class for dismissed and Mai joined Cellus' side again, looking over at the group with Peter Pettigrew. She recognized Sirius Black, with his handsome face and classic long black hair, and Remus Lupin with his worn and scarred face. The last one of the group was as tall as Sirius Black, but with black windswept hair standing to all directions and brown eyes, and she knew his name was James Potter. The group of four was still standing and glaring at the group she was with, and she could see that they were singling out one person in special. It was the lanky Severus Snape. He was under Cellus' protection in the Slytherin house, because he was kind of weird, so most students looked down on him, but Cellus claimed he was one of the brightest when it came to making potions.

"We're going back to the common room Mai, see you tomorrow?" Cellus asked his sister and she turned back to smile at her kind brother. She nodded.

"Yeah, sure." She said and smiled when he walked away, even though she felt a sting of fear every time he left her to fend for herself. She walked back to the Gryffindor tower, sitting down in a corner with her defense against the dark arts book, and reading her homework and taking notes from the chapter about Rednecked sprouts. She was so engulfed in her work that she barely noticed that someone sat down at the opposite side of the table, before the other person placed the same text book as Mai was reading on the table. Mai looked up. It was Lily Evans, a beautiful red haired girl, muggle born, but seemed to be alright, not that Mai judged people on their blood though. She left that part up to her brother and father.

"Oh, was this seat taken?" Lily asked, when Mai stared confused at her.

"Uh, no, not at all." She answered dumbly.

"I'm Lily Evans." She said and reached Mai her hand, Mai shook it politely.

"Mai Santiago." She answered and smiled shyly.

"Oh, you're the one who crashed in the flying lesson today aren't you?" Lily asked and smiled. Mai blushed a deep red and nodded.

"The stupid broom won't do as I tell it." She said and stared at the text book on the table.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, it just slipped out of me. So…you have trouble flying?" Lily asked mildly curious, and Mai looked up, scrunching her nose.

"I like to have my feet planted safely on the ground, that's all." She answered. Lily nodded.

"I've been meaning to ask you sooner, but why is it that you hang with the Slytherins all the time? It's kind of weird, and I think you would get friends easier if you didn't." Lily said and glanced towards the fireplace where four first graders sat chatting lively, one short and chubby, one tired and worn, one dark and handsome and one unkempt and laughing.

"Marcellus Santiago is my twin brother." Mai answered after a while, turning back to Lily.

"So that's why. I mean, my best friends' there as well. You might know him? Severus Snape?"

"Oh yeah, the potions master. He doesn't really speak much while I'm around, so I don't really know him. Cellus thinks he's a genius though." Mai answered. The two girls sat in silence for a while, doing their homework, until Lily shut her book and rose, looking down at Mai.

"I'm going to eat with the girls, want to come?" She asked. Mai shook her head and smiled.

"I'm sitting with my brother today." She said. Lily sighed openly, but nodded.

"By the way, about your little flying problem? James Potter over there is really good at it; you could ask him to give you private lessons." She said before dancing away. Mai shrugged, but glanced over at the four friends sitting in front of the fire place, laughing at something now. Sirius Black turned suddenly and stared straight at her with intense grey eyes.

"Hey, Slytherin, what're you looking at?" He asked loudly, causing all activity in the common room to cease. Mai blushed.

"Nothing." She muttered and turned back to her homework.

"Hey, did you all hear? Slytherin called us 'nothing'. Aren't we good enough for you Slytherin?" James Potter shot at her and she sighed.

"Oh I see, you can't even talk to us because you're so high above everyone else, right Slytherin?" Sirius shouted again, and Mai just wanted to dig herself a hole and disappear in it. So this was what Lily had been hinting at. Mai packed her books in a hurry and rose to leave, but James Potter was blocking her now.

"What's the hurry? Are you going to see your boyfriend; Snivellus, Slytherin?" He asked mockingly. Sirius who also had come over laughed a barking laugh. Peter Pettigrew had also come over now, staring adoringly up at James and Sirius with large eyes. Remus stood slightly in the back, looking uncomfortable. Mai tried to push past them, but got pushed back whenever she tried.

"Okay boys, that's quite about enough already, I'll report you to McConagall if you keep this up, so scoot." A male voice said and James and Sirius sighed before turning around and looking up at a handsome blonde fifth grader who had a glittering Prefect badge on his chest.

"Whatever." Muttered Sirius before the four friends stalked away and out of the common room. The fifth grader looked down at Mai with kind blue eyes.

"So you're the one they call Slytherin, well I have one advice for you little one. Try to get some friends outside of Slytherin instead of hanging with the wrong people; it won't make you popular in here." He said and patted her head and walked away. Mai felt terrible. If this was how it was going to be like, then she might as well quit school, rather than stop being with her brother. She would have to talk to Cellus about it.

"Cellus, I need to talk to you." Mai whispered in her brothers ear when she got to him, as always he was surrounded by a bunch of Slytherins. They raised their eyebrows at the small Gryffindor girl with the oversized sweater and the stockings which had slid down and now gathered around her ankles.

"Alone?" She begged when he nodded and motioned for her to speak her mind. He narrowed his eyes at her, but willingly followed her down the hallway and around the corner, so his friends wouldn't eavesdrop on them. Marcellus looked perfect as always, with his black hair kempt back, his blue eyes sparkling like ice, and his clothes perfectly made for his shape.

"This better be important, Mai." He said in a chill voice she had not heard before, and her green eyes widened in surprise. He seemed to notice his mistake though and his pale blue eyes softened.

"I'm sorry, I've just been so stressed out." He said and touched her shoulder to reassure her it was still her brother. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I…they say I won't get any friends as long as I keep hanging with you guys, even the Prefect said so." She dove in, not knowing how he would react; he could be kind of temperamental at times. Marcellus stared at her with ice cold eyes, before he turned on his heel and started to march away, back to his friends.

"Cellus, wait!" She called, he stopped and glared at her over his shoulder.

"I'm doing you a favor Santiago, I guess friends is more important than your own blood, right?" He asked coldly. Mai stopped and stared at him, her mouth fell open. Santiago?

"But, Cellus!"

"Don't call me that! Only friends are allowed to call me that. I'm Marcellus to you." He snarled and marched away again, not bothering to look back and Mai didn't try to stop him this time. She was paralyzed. She had only wanted to ask him what he thought of her quitting school, she hadn't wanted to stop being with him or the other slytherins, even though they creped her out at times. She could have gotten private teaching by her mother which was an excellent witch. Mai was devastated, knowing that Cellus never forgave anyone, remembering how he had banned one of his best friends from their home because of a small incident which wasn't really that friends' fault anyway. And when Cellus had been given proof of this, he had only shrugged, saying that it didn't matter, once he was banned, he would be banned forever.

"Hey guys, look who we have here, it's miss Slytherin." The dragging voice of Sirius Black came, and Mai turned to glare at the four friends.

"Shut up." She snapped angrily before she could stop herself. James Potter had obviously been about to say something, because his mouth was open, but now his eyes widened in shock.

"Oh, nasty are we?" Sirius mocked and closed James' mouth with a finger under his chin.

"I'm sorry, please leave me alone." Mai apologized and turned to leave, her voice returning to the usual weak whisper.

"Hey now, wait a minute Slytherin, we only want to talk." Sirius called after her. Mai paused and turned to look at them, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"If you want to talk you could start with addressing me correctly." She said coldly, resenting the nickname they had given her. Sirius exchanged glances with his other friends for some help, but obviously did not know her name. Mai sighed.

"Never mind, just leave me alone alright? I don't need this right now." She muttered and walked away. Soon she heard several pair of feet following her, and she glanced over her shoulder, and caught Remus Lupins apologizing stare, before she turned forwards again. Mai couldn't understand why they wanted to follow her though, not after they had been so mean to her earlier. She wished she could have sought shelter with her brother. She would have to talk to him. What would Christmas vacation be like if he wouldn't even talk to her? She kept on worrying about this until she got to the great hall, where something else started worrying her. Where was she going to sit? She glanced over at the Slytherin table where Cellus sat with his gang, but today he hadn't held a space open for her beside him. She sighed and found a free spot at the Gryffindor table where she hoped she would be left alone.

Mai managed only to fill her plate with little food before four fellow Gryffindors surrounded her and sat down. Mai looked up and met Remus dark eyes. James and Sirius had sat down beside her and Peter and Remus sat opposite of her. She stared dumbfound at them, wondering why they would sit beside her at all.

"Why aren't you sitting at the Slytherin table today?" James asked curiously. Mai stared at her plate as if it had just grown tentacles.

"The guy you're always walking around with is giving us ugly glares." Sirius said and lifted his hand at waved at the slytherins while grinning meanly. Mai snapped after air when she looked up and met the furious eyes of her twin.

"Ooh, man he looks angry." James said and chuckled.

"What did you do to get on his bad side?" Sirius asked, still looking at the slytherins, looking like a lion that had caught his prey and now boasted about it in front of hungry hyenas.

"He thinks I'm a traitor." Mai whispered barely hearable, that caught the boys' attention and they leaned closer to hear her properly, she blushed from getting them all so close all of a sudden.

"Why?" Remus asked, this was the first thing Mai had heard him say, and she thought he had a strange kind of voice for a boy at only eleven years old. It was kind of light, but yet slightly rough and it was not like she had expected it to be.

"I…I was elected into Gryffindor…" Mai said, avoiding the real truth and didn't meet his eyes, and instead stared at her plate.

"That doesn't really explain anything; you were hanging with him anyway." Sirius said and scrunched his nose to show her what he thought of it. Mai nodded.

"I might have said something…" She murmured and looked over at the Slytherin table, meeting her brothers' angry eyes again, and she sighed.

"I must have said something terrible." She added.

"Well…I guess that means you're alright now." James said and leant back with his hands behind his head. Sirius nodded.

"Yeah, guess you're not Miss Slytherin after all." James added and nudged her shoulder. She looked at both James and Sirius and furrowed her forehead.

"So, what is your name?" Sirius asked.

"Mai."

"Well Mai, you're under our protection now, we'll make sure that Snivelly and the rest of the snakes don't get to you." James said and grinned at her.


	3. wolfsbane

**2:**** Wolfsbane.**

**1973 Third year****. **

Five teens stood in front of Dumbledores desk, and he stared gravely at all of them with his sharp blue eyes. His office was wonderful, with so many strange magical artifacts that they covered every cabinet and shelf in the room. Behind Dumbledore did the late headmasters follow closely on what was happening, and one in special looked especially interested. He was dressed in slytherin colors and had a goat beard and thin pale face.

"I never thought I would see you here, Mai Santiago. I suppose Mr. Black and Mr Potter put you up to this?" The headmaster asked and stared at her, giving a feeling that he was x-raying her. Remus cleared his throat and glanced at Mai.

"Professor, it can all be explained quite easily. Mai had nothing to do with this; she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." He said in his husky voice, and Mai turned to stare hard at him, telling him with her eyes to stop.

"All I know, Mr. Lupin, is that a cauldron was found in a empty classroom on the sixth floor, and Mai was found sneaking away with a book from the library's restricted area called; Most potente potions. What were you trying to make Mai?" Dumbledore asked the girl with the long brown braid standing in the middle of the marauders. She stared ashamed at Dumbledore.

"I was trying to make a potion, sir." She answered honestly.

"And what potion was that exactly?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"A…it was a…I was only trying to soften Remus' pain!" She blurted out, and tears sprung to her eyes.

"He is in so much pain; I found a potion in the book that could probably work…" Mai said and bit her lip, so she could stop it from shivering. Dumbledore leant forwards, looking interestedly at her.

"And what potion was that exactly?" He asked again, but softly this time. Mai glanced at Remus who had frozen.

"It was…Wolfsbane Potion, professor." She whispered and glanced at Remus again. Dumbledore leant back and smiled pleased.

"That's a very tricky potion indeed, no one here at this school can make that potion perfectly, not even I." He said and looked at Remus, who seemed as if the air had been drawn out of him, as his shoulders had sunk together.

"So did you manage to make it?" Dumbledore asked. Mai stared at her feet and shook her head.

"My next question is why the four of you were out of bed at the same time as Mai was doing this illegal action?" Dumbledore said and leant back in his high backed chair. James glanced at Sirius who seemed completely at ease.

"Well, we saw Mai sneaking out, so we followed her…" Sirius said. James nodded, as did Peter, but Remus still seemed shocked at all of this.

"Well, I guess you didn't do it to be mean Mai, you had all the good intentions it seems. So I will let it be with this, and I won't send any letter to your aunt Mai, that wouldn't add to the Christmas spirit." Mai sighed and nodded agreeing with Dumbledore.

The five thirteen-year-olds' came out of the headmasters office, looking relieved, but there was one of them that still looked guilty as charged. Mai noticed, but decided to not ask him about it, she had a feeling she knew what was bothering him already. She yawned tiredly as it was almost twelve o'clock already and they should have been in bed two hours ago.

"So how in a hippogriffs fart did you come up with the idea that there was a potion that could help Moony?" Sirius asked after they had walked a few minutes in silence. Mai smiled shyly.

"I asked Professor Slughorn." She said simply, and all the marauders 'ahh'ed.

"I'm sorry I didn't get it right though, Remus." Mai said silently and glanced at Remus whose eyes had snapped up when she said his name. Again, as so many times that year he got that wretched look on his face.

"I just wanted to make it better for you. If I had gotten it right you could have kept your human mind while you transform, that way we could be with you when it happens, so that you don't have to be alone in that terrible house." She explained. Remus stopped and sighed.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Mai, I should be the apologizing one, seeing as I almost got you into trouble…again." He said and started walking again. Mai didn't reply to that, she didn't see it his way, but she knew he wouldn't take her reassurance for nothing but pity. She thought it was terrible how he continually beat himself up over his condition. He had been so surprised when not one of his four best friends wrinkled their nose in disgust when he told them about his Lychantrophy. Sirius and James had even joked about it and the conversation had moved on as usual, and Remus had been so happy.

The five friends walked back to the Gryffindor tower without meeting Filch or his cat and they said their goodnights and went to their dorms. Mai didn't sleep that night though, she lay awake wondering what she had done wrong on the Wolfsbane potion, and she had thought she'd done it perfectly. She would have to talk with Professor Slughorn again; perhaps he could give her a few hints on what she'd done wrong. He had told her that even he hadn't managed to make that potion, and had never attempted it either, but it was one of the most complicated elixirs, together with Liquid Luck. Mai sighed and took up the pages she had copied in all haste out of the Potente Potions book and glared at them, wondering what had gone wrong, it was so many ingredients that she didn't even remember what she had put in her own potion. If she had managed to talk with that Slytherin boy which James and Sirius picked on all the time, Severus Snape. He was always top of the class when they had potions together, and he seemed to go his own way with the ingredients. But of course she couldn't ask him, then he would ask questions, and he didn't like her or her friends already, so that option was out of the question. She couldn't ask her parents for help either, because they had almost burned all bridges to her after they had sent her to live with her aunt after the little incident with her twin in first grade.

Mai sighed and suddenly noticed that the sun had risen outside the window, so she stood up again and got dressed in her uniform, having slightly trouble getting the buttons on her shirt right. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she looked exactly the same as last night, she hadn't slept after all, but she undid the ponytail braid again and did it over again. Afterwards she walked down into the common room, but no one was up yet, so she walked out of the tower and down to get some breakfast because her stomach was growling like a construction site. It seemed as if the entire school was still sleeping, but breakfast was already served, so she sat down by the Gryffindor table and dug in. The food was delicious as always, and when she started on her second portion, Sirius joined her. He sat and stared at her for a long time, before he leant forwards.

"Do you have a thing for Moony?" He asked hushed. Mai almost choked on a sweet potato and coughed hard for almost a minute afterwards. When she had drunk some grape juice and finally managed to breathe properly, she looked at Sirius again.

"No, he's like a brother to me." She answered. Sirius didn't seem to believe her, but left it at that and started eating the scrambled eggs he had filled his plate with, which probably were cold now.

"Why do you even ask that Sirius? Because I'm trying to be nice to him?" She asked hushed. Sirius chewed thoughtfully, and swallowed, making a scene of it so that Mai would wait for her answer.

"Probably, you're always a lot nicer to him than the rest of us." He said. Mai hadn't realized, but perhaps that was true.

"Perhaps that's because of his condition? If it is, you should stop it. Remember he said not to treat him any differently." Sirius added and met her green eyes with his own intense grey ones. He was handsome, and Mai could see he would get even more so as he grew older.

"I don't know, I didn't even notice that I treated him any differently. You are all four like brothers to me, so I have to look out for you." She said and glanced around, seeing that the hall was beginning to fill up now. Sirius grinned and nudged her in the shoulder across the table.

"Aw, that's so sweet. Guess we've replaced Marcellus then?" Sirius asked jokingly, but Mai froze and all blood drained from her face. Sirius noticed his mistake to late, as he saw Marcellus and his gang of four friends following him into the hall, and the remark had not gone by unnoticed by his sharp ears. His ice blue eyes found Mai and he glared a glare so deadly that if a look really could kill, Mai would have been six feet under already. The Slytherin group did not come over though, but Mai had returned to her shy and silent self again, and didn't speak most of that day.


	4. watch out for cats

**3. ****Watch out for cats.**

When Christmas vacation came that year, Mai, as she had done the last two years and now the third, was going to spend the vacation with her aunt. James and Peter was also going home, but both Remus and Sirius were staying at Hogwarts over Christmas, as Sirius hated his family in general, and Remus enjoyed being at Hogwarts more than his home, seeing as there was a full moon only a few days after vacation started. Mai was looking forwards to going to her aunts' place in Germany though; it was always exciting, because her aunt was a auror and always taught her hexes and spells she shouldn't really have learnt yet. Her aunts' name was Augustine, and she was a though little lady with a dangerous temper, but Mai had quickly learnt what to do and not to do, so they went well together.

Only a few days before her departure, Mai received a letter at breakfast.

The five friends sat together as always, James kept on playing with the small golden snitch, while Peter was looking adoringly up at him. Sirius sat with his head in his hand, half asleep, only poking at his food with a fork. Remus looked as tired as ever, only walking around waiting for the next full moon, so it could be over with. Mai felt sorry for him, he looked so miserable all the time, and she couldn't help wanting to reach out and take his hand, but she didn't though; the others might take it the wrong way and of course she was way too shy.

When the owls came with the mail, one large grey owl came with the daily prophet to Sirius, and James got a letter from his mother. A few minutes after the first owls came a snow white owl with a parchment neatly tied to its leg. It landed in front of Mai, and pecked at her hand to get her attention as she had leant closer to Sirius, trying to get a peek at the Daily Prophet. Mai gasped loudly and withdrew her hand quickly, and managed to spill her milk all over her skirt in the process. She cursed under her breath as she got her wand out and cleaned the skirt with a quick swipe. Meanwhile had Remus untied the parchment from and now reached it to her. She thanked him and opened it, finally recognizing the grand owl as her Aunt Augustines'; named Pavo. She read the letter once, and her heart sank in her chest.

_**Dear Mai.**_

_**I am truly sorry about the inconvenience, but I have been forced to work full time throughout the entire vacation, because there's a situation in Berlin with some dark wizards disturbing the muggle society. I hope you can come home to Easter, and I'll get the grandest Easter egg ready for you.**_

_**Yet again, sorry about this, I know you were looking forward to coming home, but you told me two of your friends were also spending Christmas there so I hoped it would be alright.**_

_**Sincerely**_

_**Augustine**_

Mai forced herself to smile and nudged Sirius like he usually did with her.

"Looks like I'm spending Christmas here this year." She said, but her voice gave away her disappointment and Sirius laid an arm around her shoulders, hugging her to his side. A faint smell of forest filled her nostrils. It was a comfortable smell.

"Don't worry, we're going to have a blast, just wait and see." He said and grinned down at her and Mai smiled, but disappointment still lay like a stone in her stomach.

The day Peter and James left for their vacation, Mai, Sirius and an ill looking Remus was left in the castle. They roamed the halls in boredom, looking for something to do, but eventually Remus got too tired and they went back to the Gryffindor common room. Remus went to bed early, but Mai and Sirius engaged in a battle of wizarding chess.

"You know, we should go talk to Professor Slughorn tomorrow." Sirius suddenly said and looked up from the chess board to stare at Mai. She stared at his eyes; they reminded her of the rolling grey and brutal clouds just before a thunderstorm.

"Why?" Mai asked, even though she knew what he wanted, but she had already given up on the potion. It was too far out of her reach. Who had she been trying to fool anyway? She was a third grader, not some teen genius.

"To ask about the potion of course." He urged on. Mai shook her head and moved her tower so it could club down his sprinter.

"I don't think that's within our reach really, I've been cooking on that potion for two weeks Sirius, and when I finally added the last ingredient it started smoking, which it shouldn't be doing might I add." She said and moved her king one step back to avoid Sirius' planned attack with his queen. He cursed under his breath when he saw it, and took one of her knights instead.

"Yes, but we're two now, and we have exactly two weeks to try and get it right." Sirius said stoically.

"No, we don't. The effects of the potion lasts only so long, and the full moon is in three days, so we'll have to wait until next full moon, and Remus has to take the potion one full week before the night of the full moon. " Mai lectured and yet again avoided his queen by sidestepping, luring his queen into her own little trap.

"Oh, do you remember last transfiguration class with professor McConagall?" Mai asked Sirius. He nodded.

"About animagus?" He asked, and Mai nodded, leaning forward, her eyes big. Sirius didn't seem to notice her stare until he looked up from the chess board and noticed how eager she seemed.

"You must be kidding, right? The lot of us to become animagi?" He chuckled lightly as if it was a bad joke. Luckily the common room was empty. Mai nodded seriously.

"Don't you see? It's perfect, if we can manage to become animagi, we could be with Remus all the time, because werewolves only get aggressive around humans. If we're animals…" She snapped her mouth shut as they heard footsteps coming from the girls' dorm, and a fourth grader came down. She was blonde with large blue eyes.

"Oh, sorry, I thought I heard someone talking so I was just wondering who it might be." She said and then went upstairs again. Mai sighed relieved and turned to look at Sirius again, he looked as if he'd reached a conclusion all on his own.

"You have a point. Lucky that James left me the invisibility cloak so we can take a quick trip down to the library." Sirius said and grinned.

"Let's finish this game first and then we'll go." He said and leant over the chess board. Mai sighed and moved her queen to stand in check mate and Sirius' eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh well, alright, let's go then." He said and dragged her to her feet, picking up the cloak he had stuffed in his pocket and they climbed out of the portrait hole. Through her three years as James and Sirius' friend, Mai had done a lot of mischief already, so she didn't feel too worried about sneaking into the restricted area in the library.

When they got out of the portrait hole, Sirius brought her to his side and swung the invisibility cloak over their heads. The entire castle was quiet, and they got to the library without meeting Filch or his damn cat.

"_Alohomora."_ Mai whispered as she pointed the wand at the library door. The lock unlocked and the door swung up. They relocked it after themselves and made sure that no one was there, before they took the invisibility cloak off and lit their wands. They walked immediately to the restricted area, and started searching for a book that could give them a hint on how to become animagi, as that had not been explained in their transfiguration textbook. The books were so dark and dusty that some of the titles were hard to make out. Mai and Sirius had to split up and start at opposite ends, and suddenly they heard footsteps outside the door, and the lock unlocked. Mai turned in panic to look at Sirius, but he had already put out the light on his wand and hid beneath the cloak. Mai squeezed her back in the corner farthest into the restricted area, hearing the heavy boots of Argus Filch humping through the library. Mai could hear his cat purring as she stroked against the shelves of books. Filch came closer and closer to where Mai was standing so exposed, and she stared wide eyed at the opening between the rows of books, knowing that Filch would appear there at any second. But just as his boot came in view, Sirius flipped the invisibility cloak over her body and hid her. They watched as Filchs' ugly old face came into view, and then humped on, and soon left the library when he didn't find anything suspicious. Mai who realized she'd been holding her breath breathed out relieved as Sirius took off the cloak and stuffed it in his pocket again.

"Well, that was close." He said and grinned as if it was the funniest thing in the world. Mai rolled her eyes and started searching for the book again. They kept on searching for half an hour until they had found three books which seemed promising. They cloaked themselves again and left the library sneaking back to the Gryffindor tower. It was only a few hours till morning now, so they figured it was best to not sleep at all, or they would sleep all day. They sat down by the fireplace, lit up a fire, and placed the three books in the middle. Mai scrunched her nose.

"Perhaps we should disguise the books, so that no one will see what we're really reading?" Mai asked Sirius. He nodded, and they worked with transfigurating the appearance of the books so it really looked like they were reading; Wizards throughout the centuries, Quidditch now and then and A hundred hexes for pranksters. In reality the books were named; Forbidden Transfigurations, The most difficult transfigurations and Advanced transfiguration. The last one they found in the regular area of the library, so they didn't really need to disguise it, but they figured it was best to be on the safe side.

They began with one book each, Mai started with the; Forbidden Transfiguration book, and soon realized there were worse things than becoming animagi, though animagi were mentioned, but only by a few sentences. Sirius didn't have much luck with his Advanced Transfiguration either. They looked in the last one together, and finally found something that seemed interesting. The transformation into an animagus was obviously one of the twenty most difficult transfigurations in history. The two friends read the several pages written about the transformation, and felt their eagerness falter when they saw how long it would take them to complete the task. When they were done reading, they sat back and stared into the fireplace.

"Well, we could at least tell the others about your idea, and ask what they think. It's worth a shot." Sirius said finally after a few minutes of silence. Mai nodded, but didn't feel the same eagerness anymore. They were on top of their class in transfiguration, and almost every other subject except for Astronomy and History of magic, well at least James, Sirius, Remus and Mai were, Peter Pettigrew was not very gifted in anything except transfiguration and herbology, but they were bright all of them. Still Mai couldn't help but doubt if they were able to pull this one off, this was top magic. So difficult that only seven animagus had been registered the last century.

Mai was getting tired now, but was determined not to fall asleep.

"Oh look, the sun has come up already, I'm getting kind of hungry, wanna go get some breakfast?" Sirius asked and got up. Mai nodded, even though she weren't all that hungry, lack of sleep made her feel a little nauseated, but she pushed it away and followed Sirius downstairs.

"So what do you think you'll be, if we manage to become "you know what"" Sirius asked Mai after they had walked in silence for a few seconds. No one was up yet anyway, but it was probably wise not to shout it out.

"Dunno, haven't really thought that far yet. You?" Mai asked. Sirius laughed loudly, his usual barking laugh, sounding like a huge dog barking, and she got a sudden image of Sirius transforming into a huge ragged black dog.

"I was thinking of a bear or something, you know, big strong and…" He stopped when Mai laughed at him. He seemed offended, but Mai just patted his back.

"Haven't you been listening in class, Sirius? A bear symbolizes a mother, healing power, gentle strength and dreaming, doesn't really sound like you, now does it?" She asked and laughed a thrilling laugh. Sirius laughed his own barking laugh as well.

"So what do you think I'd be?" He asked when they stopped laughing. Mai wondered if he would find her suggestion offending, so she decided to approach it from a different angle.

"Well, you're very protective of your friends; you always stick up for James, so you're also loyal and self sacrificing, and you often have faith in people, even when they don't believe in themselves. Actually Sirius, you have all the traits of the dog in animal symbolism." Mai said and Sirius stopped, staring confused at her.

"Are you serious? A dog? Nothing fancy? Perhaps a coyote? I've heard they're supposed to be much fun." He asked. Mai smiled apologizing.

"Of course, I'm just speaking my mind; you could become a coyote as well. The coyote is a prankster, playful and sarcastic…not the most positive traits if I should be so bold." She said, almost a little offended at his disappointment after all the nice things she had pointed out with him. He sighed and started walking again.

"Oh well, I guess there could be worse things than a dog, I mean I could become a donkey right?" He asked. Mai nodded and chuckled.

"Of course, if you'd ever had humility and patience, the stubbornness fits you though." They laughed as they walked into the great hall, where there had been some rearrangement into one long table down the middle, where most of the teachers already sat eating. Mai looked confused, but Sirius who had spent most of his vacations at school seemed to be used to it. They sat down at the far end of the table, not too far away from professor McConagall, and she looked up when they sat down and nodded.

"Weren't you going to Augustine in Germany for the vacations, Miss. Santiago?" She asked with her quirky voice. Mai nodded.

"I was Professor, but they had some trouble with dark wizards in Berlin, so she was called to work." Mai answered. Minerva McConagall nodded.

"She's an auror still? I remember her you see, she was a first grader when I was a prefect, and she always seemed to get into some sort of trouble. Oh yes, she probably told you already, but she was in Gryffindor as well. I can remember she was a great quidditch player, a Beater actually, and a great one at that." Mai seemed surprised at all of this information. She had only always thought of her aunt as an auror with a few strange interests, now she sounded almost human, being a normal quidditch player and all. McConagall excused herself and walked out of the hall with Professor Flitwick.

Mai was about to joke about something to Sirius, when a couple of slytherins walked in, one which was from Marcellus' gang. A long and lanky pale eyed second grader with mousy grey hair and pimples, he walked alongside a sixth grader with long blonde hair. It was Lucius Malfoy, a slippery snake, seeming to collect people in Slytherin who held their wand hand inside the dark arts. He swiped the table with his pale blue eyes, until he saw Mai and Sirius, wrinkling his nose in disgust at what he thought of as blood-traitors and went to sit at the end furthest away from them. Mai wondered why he hadn't gone home for vacations; she knew their family lived in a grand mansion and that both parents barely worked.

"You think we really can do this Sirius?" Mai asked silently when she met the calculating stare of Lucius Malfoy again, she shuddered. Sirius seemed to think it over.

"Sure, or we'll die trying, that's what's so fun, isn't it?" He asked and happily showed a couple of sweet potatoes in his mouth, chewing hard for a few seconds afterwards. Mai got more and more certain about him becoming a dog.

"You really don't make sense sometimes." She murmured and ate up her own food.

Stuffed to the brim, they both walked back to the common room, where Mai worked on copying the instructions they needed and made certain every detail was written down correctly. While Sirius with his keen eye drew every drawing in the book that showed how to hold the wand and what kinds of hand movements you should use. They did this for several hours until Remus came down, looking like a white sheet. He seemed so fragile that when Mai hurried over to help him down the last steps, she barely dared to touch his arm.

"I'll have to go to the shack tonight; the urge to kill is killing me." Remus said after he had made sure no one was in the common room. Sirius furrowed his forehead in worry.

"Oh don't look so worried Sirius, It's just one of those really bad transformations when it's near an eclipse, I'll be fine." Remus muttered and flopped down in one of the worn out chairs in front of the fire place. He noticed the large book lying in front of the fireplace. He raised a eyebrow and picked it up, looking at the cover.

"Quidditch now and then?" He asked with a suspicious face, looking at Sirius. Mai smiled sweetly.

"A lot of great history in there." Sirius said. Remus opened the book and read the first page.

"The most difficult transfigurations? What's going on here?" He asked suspiciously. Mai glanced at Sirius who nodded and she cleared her throat silently.

"Well, we figured since I couldn't make the potion for you so you could have a human mind while transformed, and so we can't stay with you during your transformations, we figured we could become animals and stay with you while you're a wolf." Mai explained in a simple way. Remus jaw fell open and his eyes were wide as tin plates.

"You thought what? Are you insane? That's one of the most dangerous transfigurations of all time, what if something goes wrong?" He asked shocked. Mai shook her head.

"Nothing will go wrong, we'll do as much research as we can on animagi before we do it, if I have any doubt that we're ready I'll stop it. We might not be capable this year, or next year, but I think we'll manage within two years." Mai said logically. Sirius agreed, Remus relaxed somewhat, but still seemed a little skeptical.

"Hey, have some faith in us, will you?" Sirius urged on and nudged Remus with his fist. Remus sighed tiredly and shook his head.

"We'll talk about it when James and Peter get back, and for the record, you don't have to break into the restricted area every time you want to find anything. Animagi isn't dark magic, so I suppose you'll find it during daytime as well." He said and looked accusingly at Sirius who barked in laughter.

"Well, want to come outside with me for a while before I have to go to the Shack?" Remus asked and got up from the chair and stretched. Sirius nodded and got up as well.

"Go ahead you two, I'll gather this stuff before anyone finds them, I'll come after." She said and waved them away. The two boys nodded and disappeared out of the portrait hole, leaving Mai alone. She picked up all the parchments and books and headed up to the girls dormitory, where she hid them at the bottom of her suitcase and shoved it under her bed. She got dressed in her dark green winter coat and put on her black fur winter boots. Before she walked down she unbraided her ponytail and took out the hair band, and braided a long braid over her shoulder instead. This way her ears would be somewhat more protected.

Ever since first grade, when Marcellus literally kicked her out of the family, had Mai been working hard with herself, trying to be independent and strong. She knew now that Marcellus had not been very nice to her at all, perhaps unknowingly from his side. He had made her into a shivering heap of insecurity, so when he left her to fend for herself, she was terrified. She couldn't speak her own mind even when she was with her four friends. She always said what Marcellus always had told her was right, and now she had to figure out what was right and wrong to say to other people, but she had realized in second grade that it was okay to say something wrong, and apologize about it afterwards. She noticed that Sirius, James and Remus never judged her when she ran away in the middle of a conversation because Marcellus and his friends walked in the room.

Two years ago she would have been terrified to walk out of the castle on her own without one of her protectors with her, in case anyone looked strangely at her so she needed an arm to squeeze. She didn't know if Remus or Sirius had noticed the slow change in her, but she knew she would become stronger. Mais' goal was to become an independent woman, and living with her aunt had given her even more determination, because Augustine had been written out of the family, just like Mai and she'd managed extremely well on her own.

Mai smiled to herself when she climbed out of the portrait hole, but her smile vanished like fog blown away from a water surface a cold morning when she turned the next corner and came face to face with none other than Lucius Malfoy and two other Slytherins.

"Well, look who we have here boys, the black sheep of the Santiago family, the blood traitor." Lucius said in a slippery voice, sounding like a hissing snake. Mai looked around for help, but it was only her and the three slytherins in the hallway.

"So, out for a nice little stroll?" Lucius asked sarcastic. Mai couldn't help but wonder where he was going with this.

"What's the matter little mouse, the cat got your tongue?" One of the other slytherins asked, he was the one from Marcellus' gang, with pale eyes and pimples on his potato nose. The other laughed a terrifying laugh, sounding like a snarling flock of rabies infested dogs. He had short brown hair standing in wild angles, and dark brown eyes looking like pits of hell, Mai recognized him as Rodolphus Lestrange.

Mai tried to keep her mouth shut and just keep going, but the one with hell in his eyes pushed her back and grinned.

"Not so fast little mouse, we only want to play." He said and laughed his terrifying laugh again. Mai stared wide eyed at him. Lucius chuckled calmly and placed a large hand on her shoulder, bending down so that his mouth was only inches away from her ear.

"Ever heard of cat and mouse? Where the cats chase the mouse, and when they catch her…well, we'll get to that later." He hissed in her ear. Mai gasped and tore free from his hand, sprinting through the group of slytherins, and they didn't stop her this time. The roaring laughter from the three followed her all the way down the stairs and out of the castle, where she ran smack into Sirius, who almost toppled over from the energy absorbed through the impact.

"Mai?" He asked when she didn't step back and instead clung to his jacket, refusing to let go. She hid her face in his chest, starting to sob. Remus came over after a while, touching Mais' back carefully.

"Mai? What's happened?" He asked. Mai finally stepped back from Sirius and dried her tears away with the back of her hand. She glanced worriedly around.

"They were waiting for me, wanting to play cat and mouse." She whispered weakly, and only now heard how absurd and silly it sounded. She saw Sirius and Remus glancing at each other.

"Who were waiting?" Sirius asked.

"Lucius Malfoy, Rodolphus Lestrange and one from Marcellus' gang, they were waiting." She sniffled. Remus eyes widened.

"Why would they be waiting for you?" He asked confused.

"That's because she's a blood traitor like me. She chose us over her own family. I bet Marcellus has been talking shit about her, just like Bellatrix, must she burn in hell, talks shit about me." Sirius snarled and stared up at the castle. Remus touched Mais' shoulder comfortingly and smiled.

"Remember how far you've come since that day though Mai, you're stronger now, you don't have to let them trample all over you anymore." He said encouragingly. Mai looked shocked up at him, he had noticed. She had never known how happy it would make her, just to know that at least one had noticed how much stronger she'd become. She smiled happily.

"You noticed." She said.

"Of course we noticed, how couldn't we notice? You're a whole different person already, and I bet you have a lot more waiting for you." Remus said and smiled happily at her being happy.

"Word." Sirius added and all three of them broke out in laughter.

The three friends played around in the snow for a couple of hours, enchanting snowballs, sending them flying in quick repetition at each other. Sirius was hit by three snowballs in a row straight in the face, Mai laughed so hard at his angry glare when he finally managed to wipe all of the snow off his face and out of his mouth and nose afterwards. She only laughed so long though, because a few seconds later she got bombarded by both Remus and Sirius at the same time so she was almost buried in a huge pile of snow, with only her head poking up. The two boys laughed so hard that they collapsed on the ground. Mai pretended to be angry, but it felt so good seeing Remus laugh so effortlessly when he felt so ill, Sirius seemed to notice it too.

Mai and Sirius followed Remus to the Whomping Willow when it was time to return to the castle for dinner. Mai looked miserably at Remus, who seemed as if all life had been drained out of him the last few seconds. She stepped up to him and gave him a long nice hug, trying to give him some of her warmth, because he felt ice cold. When she let go of him he tried to smile and pat her back.

"Don't worry about me Mai, I'll be fine. Sirius, look out for cats, alright?" Remus asked Sirius cryptically, but Mai had a feeling he was referring to Malfoy and the rest of his slytherin gang. Sirius nodded and grinned.

"I'll step on their tail and make sure they screech high, like a freaking symphony." He said and saluted. Remus chuckled and they said their goodbyes and Remus disappeared through the small opening under the tree.

Mai and Sirius walked together up to the castle, not speaking, but it was alright, Mai enjoyed his company and they didn't have to destroy the comfortable silence with mindless talk all the time.


	5. the family you choose

4: The family you choose.

The Christmas vacation seemed to pass by way too quickly, and Mai hoped the last few days would last a little longer than the already passed one and a half week had. She had never had so much fun in her life, they were joking around all the time, and she had even gotten presents from all four of her friends and her aunt Augustine. She got a model snitch from James, signed by him with silver. She smiled and placed it on her nightstand. From Peter did she get a box of muggle chocolate from Switzerland, as he and his family was spending their vacation there, it was really delicious, but it disappeared all too quickly, and she suspected Sirius to be at fault. She got a book from Remus, it was supposedly about Dragons, but when she opened it she saw that it actually was an entire book about Animagus and how to become one. She squealed happily when she realized that he was okay with them trying, and that he had faith in them. It was the best gift she could have gotten. Remus grinned happily at her reaction. When she opened Sirius present, she gasped and smacked a hand over her mouth, and got tears in her eyes. It was a picture, framed nicely with gold and red. On the picture stood five happy thirteen-year-olds, grinning and waving at the photographer, and in the middle stood a girl smiling shyly. Mai stared at the picture for a long time, admiring the happy faces. It had been taken by James' mother on Cross station just before they started their third year.

"Look at the back." Sirius had hinted, and Mai turned it and tears filled her eyes.

"When times get hard, we get harder. Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Mai Santiago, Sirius Black and James Potter." She read out loud. It was such a cheesy thing to write, but coming from Sirius it didn't seem cheesy at all.

"Thank you so much." She said happily and hugged the photograph to her chest.

Now she sat outside alone and enjoyed the cold air and the clean smell of winter, it was so silent. Now it was only four days left of the Christmas vacation, and she would have to enjoy them to the fullest, knowing that when school started she would be stuck with homework and their new project of becoming illegal animagi. Because they hadn't been thinking about registering of course, that would be counterproductive in her opinion. Sirius had gotten so impatient that he had written to James, telling him about their idea, pointing out how dangerous it would be. He didn't bother with Peter, knowing that the plump boy would do anything James and Sirius did anyway. He got an answer only a few days later with a parchment with one large word written in bold letters on it: "YES!"

Mai was excited about the project, and smiled to herself as she watched the sun bleed out over the horizon, and the indigo colored sky falling down over the mountains like a ink bottle had been tipped over. It was only five o'clock in the afternoon, but the darkness did come early at winter times, so she rose up from the log she had been sitting on, and started to walk up to the castle.

Suddenly she heard silent snickering, and turned around, looking for the source. She saw no one, so she turned back to start walking again, and came face to face with her twin brother.

He smiled coldly at her with his ice blue eyes, and his black hair standing to all directions. He was flanked by Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestrange. Mai found it strange how he seemed to surround himself with only older and stronger people all the time.

"Going somewhere, sister?" He asked in a fake polite voice. Mai stared emotionlessly at him, before trying to sidestep him without a word, but he blocked her, so she took a few steps back instead. She felt reckless all of a sudden, Sirius and Remus had told her she'd become stronger, and she had believed them. She could stand up to her brother now, after living two and a half years in fear of him.

"What do you want, Marcellus?" She asked, and fought with herself to keep her voice steady and cold. She could see that Marcellus had not expected her to be so calm.

"I just want talk dear sister, I have a message from my mother." He said acidly. Mai raised an eyebrow nonchalantly at him, but inside she was dying to hear the message. She noticed how he had said his mother, instead of their mother, but she didn't care about that now.

"She says she has transferred all custody over you to your aunt, and written you out of the testament. She says it will be up to your aunt to decide if she wants you to keep attending Hogwarts or transferring you to a different Magic school in Germany. Oh, and a fun little comment from my dear father; Blood traitors will keep blood traitors company." Marcellus said in a cold voice. Malfoy and Lestrange snickered evilly as Mai stared wide eyed at her brother, waiting for him to say: "kidding." But he never did, he just turned on his heel and marched away. Malfoy stared nonchalantly down at her, before he turned as well and left. Rodolphus Lestrange bent down and stared at Mai, grinning, showing off a row of pearl white teeth.

"Guess you're not under the protection of your name anymore little mouse. This is exciting, don't you think?" He asked and laughed his terrifying laugh as he walked away and up to the castle, where he caught up with Malfoy. Mai stared after them, wondering if Marcellus was actually joking, or if it was true. She would have to send a letter to her mother and ask. She couldn't believe they would actually take the whole situation to such lengths? After all she was their daughter, even though she'd been living with her aunt the past two and a half years. She had been thinking she would be going back to her previous home when her parents came to terms with her tolerance of half bloods, and her friends.

When she got up to the owl tower, she wrote a quick letter asking if what Marcellus had said was true, and why her mother hadn't told her herself, she didn't want to believe that her parents were really that immature. She sent the letter with one of the neutral grey owls, and went down to have dinner, hoping that Sirius and Remus were done with their chess battle. She walked into the great hall, looking around, and spotted Remus sitting alone at the far end of the table, staring at his food thoughtfully. Mai walked over to him and sat down.

"What're you looking so thoughtful for?" He looked up and smiled.

"Oh, nothing, nothing…" He murmured and touched her shoulder casually before turning back to his food. He looked back at her again a few seconds later.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, she smiled, because he was always so attentive to how everyone around him was feeling.

"Uh, well…I'm not exactly sure. Marcellus have come back early from his Christmas vacation." She stated. His eyes widened slightly.

"Did he do something?" He asked worried, she shook her head.

"He had a message, from my parents…" She whispered and looked around, but not one of the slytherins had come for dinner yet. The only people in the hall were a few of the teachers, and a couple of Hufflepuff fourth graders who sat together, giggling and chatting loudly.

"He said they had transferred the custody over me to my aunt, so I won't disgrace their name anymore, and that it will be up to Augustine to decide if she wants me to continue attending Hogwarts or not." She said hushed. Remus' eyes widened in surprise by each word she spoke.

"You don't think he's just playing games with you though? It sounds kind of bizarre, just because you were elected into Gryffindor, and wanted to have friends beside your twin brother as well, they don't want you in their family anymore. I mean, it's not very logical, is it?" He asked confused, and Mai had to admit he was making sense.

"I don't know, perhaps I'm just being silly, but I think it's weird that he would come up with something like that on his own…besides…it was another message, from my father." She whispered even lower. Remus leant forwards to hear her, she gazed into his eyes.

"Blood traitors keep blood traitors company." She whispered. Remus shuddered, and knew everyone thought of half blood humans as something dirty, but blood traitors (even if they had "pure blood") were classified as the same as half bloods.

"The worst part is that I've heard my father use the exact same phrase about someone else, and the spite and mockery in his voice was something that etched into my brain." Mai said and stared at her hands.

"I hate how it feels, no matter how much I love you guys, and care about you all; I still can't help feeling torn. They're my family, and I would do almost anything to make them take me back." Mai whispered guiltily. Remus nodded and touched her hands carefully, slightly torn as well, not knowing how to respond to a confession like that.

"I can't tell you that I understand, because I really don't, not after how that family treats you. I don't think they're a real family at all. Some say you can't chose family, but I say you can. And if you can choose a family, you should choose the ones making you happy, instead of bringing you down." Remus explained in an epic voice, and normally they would both have cramped up in fits of laughter, but taking the situation under consideration, what he said actually made sense. Mai sighed and stared at the food on the table.

"I'm not hungry; I'll be in the common room…reading." She muttered and left, feeling Remus' eyes follow her out of the hall. She felt terrible for cutting him off so coldly, but she needed some time to think by herself, without someone trying to tell her what was best for her. She felt strangely light at heart, considering the message Marcellus had just brought her; she didn't even feel like crying. It wasn't a really bad thing, living with her aunt. At least Augustine taught her magic, quite unlike her parents, who strictly forbade using magic while they were still underage. Still it felt terribly harsh to be left out completely from the family.

Mai made her way up to the common room, which was empty, and she sat down in front of the fireplace, with a book, and buried her mind in it, together with her frustration. The fire in the fireplace crackled cozily, and casted a warm glow on Mais' concentrated face. The common room smelt like old furniture, smoke from the fire and old books. It was a calming atmosphere, and Mai soon fell asleep with the book open in her lap, and her chin resting on her chest.

It was Sirius who found her sitting there, and Remus came after only a few seconds as well. Sirius touched Mais' shoulder, and she stirred, her eyes fluttering before she came out of her state of sleep. Her green eyes looked confused from Sirius to Remus, until she seemed to understand where she was.

"I'm such an idiot Remus." She murmured, Remus smiled at her and shook his head.

"Not at all Mai."

"Yes I am. I mean, I actually thought about choosing my family over you guys. It seems so absurd to me now. I don't even know if I like my old family anymore, I think I like Aunt Augustine more." She said firmly. Remus and Sirius seemed happy for her, but she was still nervous about what her mother would answer to her letter, or if she would answer at all. The next morning she got a letter from her aunt instead, and it confirmed the message Marcellus had given her, and it also put one of her other concerns at rest.

_Dear Mai. _

_I just received a letter from the Ministry of magic, together with a letter from your parents. Obviously my "dear" sister has transferred the custody over you to me. So I am officially your guardian. All your things will be sent to my house in Germany, and I will change your address. I, personally, think this is a good thing for you, those people weren't any good for you ever since you was elected into Gryffindor and your brother became a assho… anyway, I hope you see this as a good thing eventually as well, even though you probably don't…yet. I would have loved to say one thing or two to my "dear" sister and her "charming" husband, but I'm not allowed within a hundred feet of any of them, so it'll be hard As for the change of school and all that bullshit that your mother wrote about, I'm not too concerned about that, if you like it at Hogwarts, you should stay there. Anyway, hope you enjoyed your present and the rest of the school year, see you for Easter. _

_Love, _

_Augustine Santiago. _

Mai knew she would be well taken care of, so she didn't feel very bad anymore, it was still just the rejection from her own mother she thought was unfair, but she wouldn't think anymore about it. And besides, Augustine would let her continue attending Hogwarts, so everything was great.

Remus, Mai and Sirius enjoyed their last day of the vacation with a trip to Hogsmeade, where Sirius bought tons of candy which he gladly shared with the not so fortunate Mai and Remus. Mais' aunt wasn't a wealthy woman, so Mai figured she couldn't buy all she wanted anymore, but having a rich friend who gladly gave her some of his share helped her situation greatly. Remus' parents weren't the richest people on the block either, and he always felt bad for days after asking them for money, so he tried not to do it too often. Sirius treated his two friends with butter beer at the three broomsticks and they laughed and chatted about high and low all day.

James and Peter came back that same evening, and they all sat down together in the common room, where James boasted about his vacation for hours, and all the hot chicks he had seen. It wasn't until the common room was empty that Mai and Sirius told the two others about what they had come up with and showed them all their preparations. James who had already gotten a slight clue about what it was all about seemed even more eager now, and Peter just nodded every time James nodded.

"What kind of animal do you think I'd be?" James asked eagerly, and Sirius grinned.

"A toad, with a lot of warts." He said. James grinned.

"And you'd probably be a skunk, the way you smell." He shot back at Sirius, and they both stared at each other, before they laughed, Sirius with his characteristic barking laugh, and James with his contagious laugh, which made everyone around him laugh as well.

"Nah, I'd like to be a lion, or a tiger, something big and strong, a king or something." James said after a while. Mai stared at him, and didn't find it very hard to picture him as a lion; he definitively had all the traits of a potential lion. He was the obvious leader of the group; he was strong and very protective of his friends, so perhaps a lion would fit him just perfectly.

"Perhaps you'll be a moose? King of the forest?" Remus suggested with a slight grin, Mai chuckled, picturing a huge moose with markings around his eyes looking like square glasses. James didn't seem to like the idea very much, which made Mai laugh at his funny expression.

"Anyway, I'll be going to sleep now, I plan on not falling asleep in McConagalls' class." Mai stated and rose to walk upstairs; she glanced back at the four boys in front of the fire place and smiled.

"I'm quite certain you won't be a moose, James." She said kindly, before leaving.


	6. One of the boys

5. One of the boys.

The next weeks went by quickly, and Mai struggled to keep up with school, and at the same time study animagi. The other four boys seemed to have a much easier way of doing things, but they magically seemed to do all their homework anyway, something which Mai could not understand. She had almost no time to be social with her beloved friends, though their idea of being social was hexing students who were unlucky enough to cross their path. Of course Sirius and James were the worst two, but Peter always did what they did. Sirius and James always seemed to exceed Mai in grades as well, but she kept up with Remus who was just one level beneath the two teenage geniuses, but she tried her hardest to keep up with them anyway. The only subject she was just as good as them in, was the defense against the dark arts class, sometimes she even got better grades than them, though those were rare occasions.

When Easter came around, Mai left for Germany to stay with her Aunt for a week. It was with a heavy heart she left her four friends at Hogwarts, but she would take the Animagi book with her, so she could finish reading it for the fifth time, because there were so many details she needed to learn. Augustine had arranged with a portkey from Hogsmeade to her door step, so they wouldn't have to stumble around in Berlin. Augustine lived in a small circular purple house in the middle of nowhere in Germany, by the border to Poland. It was a cute house, just big enough for the two of them, with two bedrooms, a living room, one bathroom, one toilet, a kitchen and an entrance hall. All of the rooms were in different colors, and Mais' bedroom had indigo colored tapestry. Mai had liked the house from the very beginning, and now she liked it even more, because she would be calling it home from now on.

Augustine, with her short and very muscular body, was the perfect elite auror. She was fast and strong, with a brain filled with curses and hexes. Augustine wasn't a beautiful woman, her features were rough and she had one long scar right across her face, reaching from the top of her forehead all the way down to her chin, which gave her a scary look. Her dark brown hair was cut short, and stood to all directions, very much like James, and she always walked around in a pair of worn green jeans and some kind of muggle t-shirt.

When Mai was there, she learnt several new defense techniques, which they wouldn't learn until sixth or seventh grade. Augustine laughed a lot that short week, and it was obvious that her Aunt had been lonely a little bit too long, so it was nice to give something back to her. Mai felt bad when she had to leave that Sunday, but she was also looking forwards to seeing Remus, James, Sirius and Peter again.

"So, how was your vacation?" Remus asked when she got back.

"It was great, I missed you guys though. So what've you been up to?" She asked. Remus shrugged and glanced at James and Sirius who sat bent over a table full of stuff from Zonkos joke shop. Peter sat beside them as well, laughing at the right moment.

"Have they been looking up on animagi at all?" She asked the tired looking boy. He shook his head, making his sand colored hair bounce around his high cheekbones.

"Well, knowing them they probably think they can make the transformation without studying it at all, like they do in all of the classes anyway." She said, slightly envious of their natural gifts and a little irritated that they didn't seem to take anything seriously. Remus nodded.

"Hey, Sirius, James, Peter, made any progress on you-know-what this week?" Mai called and walked over to the three boys. They glanced guiltily at each other.

"Well, no." James asked and glancing over at a table filled with second grade girls. They giggled and glanced occasionally over at James and Sirius, giving them sickening looks, reminding Mai of puppies.

"And you didn't even consider that it was kind of important?" Mai asked slightly upset, after using a majority of her own vacation getting ready to start the transformation. Peter glanced at James and Sirius adoringly, before he shrugged at Mai and gave her a bold stare.

"We've had vacation, something wrong with that?" He asked and stuck his chin out at her. Mai gave him a cold stare and glared at Sirius and James who were the ones putting Peter up to acting that way.

"So what? You think you can do this without even studying at all, like with everything else you attempt?" She snapped heatedly. Sirius seemed slightly taken back, but he hid it expertly and made a characteristic throw with his head, getting the coal black bangs of hair out of his eyes.

"Perhaps, what're you so uptight about anyway?" He asked slickly, and another wave of giggles from the table with girls in the corner washed over her like a cold shower.

"Uptight?" Mai asked offended.

"Yeah, you're acting like some kind of…mother-hen. It's cool; we don't need to read anymore, we're ready." Sirius shot at her. Her green eyes stared at Sirius and then at James.

"Mother hen…well alright then…" She snarled, offended and sad. Remus came over and touched her shoulder.

"What? Are you going to call me something as well?" She whirled around and glared at his shocked face; she shook his hand off her, and stormed up to the girls' dormitory. There she flung herself on her bed, and hid her tears in the pillow. She couldn't understand why she was reacting like this, but she felt like she had worked so hard for this project, and they didn't have to work at all. It was so frustrating that she wanted to scream her heart out at them. And to top it all off, she'd gone off on Remus as well, who hadn't done anything wrong. She rolled around so that she was staring at the ceiling instead, breathing heavily.

Suddenly she heard footsteps, and looked towards the staircase, where Lily Evans, Alice Longbottom and Mary Shortwing came up the stairs. The three girls were as different as night and day. Lily was the most beautiful one of them, with her long fiery red hair and her emerald green eyes, long elegant limbs and a proud stance, but her kindness was probably what she was most identified by. Alice was a short and round-faced girl, with a contagious wide smile and was the one of the three girls who always made the other two laugh until they cried. Mary was a short and plump girl, but with the most wonderful pair of eyes Mai had ever seen, they were the deepest of brown and were framed by thick black eyelashes. Mary was a typically scholar girl, with a strange kind of humor which wasn't always successful with everyone.

Mai met Lilys' eyes, and didn't look away quickly enough, because the red head started walking over to her bunk. She didn't want the three girls to perceive she'd been crying, but she guessed it was hard to hide from them once she turned to greet them. Mai hid her face in her pillow, despairing about what to do. Lily knelt by Mais' bed and touched her shoulder gently. Mai sighed mentally, bracing herself for yet another wave of mockery that day, but when she met Lilys' remarkable green eyes, with her own pale green ones, she realized that Lily would never mock her about anything. Lily smiled benevolently at Mai, and stroked dark brown strands of hair out of her tear wet face. Alice and Mary sat down on her bedside and gave her compassionate glances.

"Is it about a boy?" Alice asked and round face gave of a warm and open glow, making Mai want to spill out all of her concerns, but that could be fatal, so she would have to hold her tongue.

"Well, not in the fashion you might think, it's more of a…communication problem." Mai answered. Lily smiled knowingly.

"With a boy?" She asked.

"Well, about several boys actually." Mai answered and looked from Lilys' beautiful face, to Alices' round warm face and Marys' deep brown eyes.

"Ah yes, you're the one hanging with that Potter and Black boy, aren't you? I wouldn't feel too bad if they're acting strangely towards you, after all…you are a girl." Mary said. Lily nodded supportively.

"What do you mean?" Mai asked confused. Alice chuckled lightly.

"Haven't you seen the girls they surround themselves with? They're the third grades' Don Juans. It's been alright up until now, but from now on, they'll probably start noticing that you're a girl as well. Up until now, you've just been one of the guys." She said. Mai didn't believe it. The four boys had been her best friends for three years; they wouldn't just stop being her friends now, would they? Though, she had to admit that they acted differently around her, not very prominently, but she'd noticed one or two times.

"So…what should I do?" Mai asked in confusion. Lily glanced at the other two girls.

"Well, you could try avoiding them for a while, see if they come around, which I believe they will…eventually. Meanwhile you could hang with us. It seems you could use the company of other girls." She suggested. Lucy and Mary seemed hesitant, but nodded nonetheless.

"I think I should try and talk to them though…" Mai said and glanced from face to face. Lily nodded.

"Of course, but you could come with us to Hogsmeade next week? We could go shopping." She said. Mai concurred and she was surprised that the three girls seemed eager to have her with them. They discussed where to meet, and then all three of them went to bed. Mai continued to lay awake for some time, listening to the spring dusk whipping the window, and all the girls who still walked around getting ready for bed. She heard slow breathing from the neighbor bunk, and someone mumbling in their sleep somewhere else in the room. If she listened closely, she could also hear someone talking and laughing downstairs. She wondered if it was her four friends, having all that fun without her, and she wondered what she was missing out on. When it didn't sound as if they were going to bed anytime soon, she got out of bed and got threw one of the uniform sweaters over her knee-long cotton dress she used to sleep in. She considered tying her hair into a ponytail or braiding it again before walking downstairs, but shrugged and figured it didn't really matter. She shuddered when she swung her feet over the edge of the bed and put her bare feet on the ice cold floor. She walked quickly across the floor; a few girls looked after her when she snuck up, but no one thought more of it, and soon turned back to what they had been doing.

Mai snuck as silently as she could manage down the staircase, hearing the laughter coming closer, and she recognized Sirius' barking laugh immediately. She stopped when she came down the last spiral, and glanced around the bend, seeing if there was anyone else there.

The four friends sat alone in front of the fireplace, the glow from the fire giving the scene a cozy atmosphere. Their hushed voices and random laughing gave her a warm feeling, knowing how much she cared about all of them. Perhaps she appeared as a mother-hen sometimes. James was sitting cross-legged in the couch, with a book in his lap. Sirius sat laid-back in one of the worn chairs, looking through a parchment, as was Peter in the other chair. Remus was the only one who wasn't doing anything special, he just sat and leant his head in his palm, staring into the fire with a distant look upon his face. His eyes seemed so pensive that she caught herself wondering what he was brooding over. Mai hesitated but for a second, before she walked down the remaining steps. She made her way over to them and sat down in the free spot between Remus and James. They all looked at her, questioningly and inquisitively.

"Sorry, I guess, for going off on you guys. I'm just a little stressed out about the whole animagi thing, and keeping up with school at the same time." Mai murmured and stared into the fire. In reality she felt terribly envious of their skills, managing to learn everything so easily, and still doing pranks in their spare time. She couldn't understand where they found the time to read the animagi texts and much less do their homework. James patted her back friendly.

"It's alright, I guess we had a slight tendency to insult you earlier. I hope you forgive us, we keep forgetting how much more sensitive you girls are than us guys." James said and smiled. Mai knew he meant it, and she remembered what Alice Longbottom had said earlier.

"…because, I'm one of the guys…right?" She asked, not really knowing what she hoped the answer would be. She wasn't certain if she enjoyed being recognized as only one of the boys, or if she'd like to be the girl friend they could rely on when they needed girl advice.

"Of course you're one of the guys, you're one of us." Sirius said immediately, and Peter nodded agreeing with him. Mai glanced at Remus, who watched her carefully, looking as if he was thinking hard about something, before he as well nodded. Mai wasn't sure how she felt about the way the saw her, but she was happy they counted her as one of the group, not only an outsider.

"You've been one of us ever since that day you dumped the Slytherins." James added eagerly. Mai smiled.

"Thank you guys, as long as you don't insult me just to look cool in front of those girls again. That was pretty low, you know." She said and leered at James, who blushed and exchanged glances with Sirius, who also looked guilty as charged. Mai laughed.

"You have no idea how silly it makes you look. How many girls do you think would go out with guys like you, who insult another girl?" She asked and leant back, feeling more certain of her position in the group now, and could relax again. Perhaps "one of the guys" was alright?


	7. rocky road

6:Rocky road.

A couple of days later, in transfiguration class, Mai sat beside Remus. His eyes were glued to McConagall who was demonstrating how to give a small box legs that could carry it. When she'd watched how McConagall used the tip of her wand to touch the places she wanted the legs to appear, and expressed the spell, swinging her wand in an exact pattern, Mai lost interest and was longing to try the spell on her own. While McConagall demonstrated the spell again, someone poked her shoulder and Mai looked to the side meeting Sirius grey eyes. He grinned and pointed to his side at James who leant over his books, his eyes closed and mouth half open, with a pond of drool on his transfiguration book. Mai grinned at Sirius. James had been up late training for the Quidditch match the next week, between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Their captain was drilling the team hard, because they had a good chance at winning the house cup this year, if they only won over Ravenclaw. Mai could see it was taking its toll on him though, and felt a little bad by laughing of him when he was so exhausted. Luckily McConagall seemed to want to win the house cup just as much as the Gryffindors, because she overlooked the fact that James was not only sleeping in her class, but also snoring.

When class was over, Sirius woke James roughly and the young buy yawned loudly and stretched like a cat, before collecting his books and following them out of the classroom. They walked quickly, having the rest of the day off and not a minute to lose. They hurried up on the fifth floor and into one of the unused classrooms which were never visited by anyone. Mai turned and faced her four male friends.

"Okay, um…you all probably know what we should start practicing?" She asked and was surprised at how teacher-like she sounded. Sirius and James glanced at each other, looking as if they had skipped that page of the book. Mai sighed when she realized they hadn't even realized what the first step would be.

"Have you even put any thought into this?" She asked them upset.

"Ah, well…we have been figuring out probable animals…that we could turn into." James suggested, and Peter nodded. Mai glared at them with her green eyes, and turned away from them, hands on her back.

"Holy Three footed chicken, I can't believe you haven't even started. I thought you guys were putting a lot of effort into this?" She asked and glanced at Remus. He was staring wide eyed at her, his scarred face reflecting his amazement and confusion. Sirius and James looked guiltily at her.

"Okay, whatever. I guess it can't be helped. You guys are so used to getting everything served on a silver plate, that when you suddenly have to actually study for something, you slack of and think you'll get it automatically." She said overbearingly and turned back around.

"Sirius, you know the basics right? We went through them when we were copying the book, remember?" She asked Sirius. He nodded.

"Hey, I know the basics as well; I looked through your parchments. Soundless spells, right? You need to manage to transfigure something without voicing the spell out loud?" James asked and grinned. Peter listened intently on what was being said. Mai nodded.

"And that's what we should start practicing. In our transfiguration book it says something about soundless magic, and all you need to do is concentrate on the spell, and the outcome of it at the same time, and direct your thoughts to the object you want to change. It sounds easy, but if I know transfiguration correctly, it won't be." Mai explained and smiled grimly. James, Sirius and Peter nodded.

"This doesn't sound very suspicious though, so I guess we can practice it in the open, as long as we don't mention what we're going to use it for." James said and took on his role as the leader again. Sirius nodded agreeing, as did Peter. Remus still looked skeptical to the whole thing, but Mai knew he didn't really mind, he would probably love having a pack running with him when he was a werewolf.

"Okay, so we begin with the easy stuff right? The first grade stuff, but without using the spell out loud, and then move up the ranks." James continued and grinned.

"This is so awesome. We'll be super humans." He added and punched Sirius' shoulder playfully. Sirius grinned back at his best friend and grinned just as wide. Mai turned to Remus and lowered her voice.

"Guess this'll boost their ego even more, huh?" She asked the werewolf, he seemed displeased at the thought and nodded.

"Probably, but I am grateful though." He murmured and patted her back friendly. Mai smiled brightly and nodded.

The day came when Mai were going to Hogsmeade with Lily, Mary and Alice. They had planned to go to the three broomsticks for a butter beer and some chitchat, but first they walked around in the village, looking at all the crazy stuff at Zonkos, buying some candy and just looking at clothes and other fun stuff. Mai found that she really enjoyed the girls' company, and realized that the conversations circled around completely different themes than with her male friends. Boys were a main attraction though, especially by Alice and Mary. Lily didn't seem to care much about the male gender, and was instead a lot more interested in school work and how everyone around her was doing. Mai soon figured that Lily was probably one of the kindest humans alive.

When the four girls finally sat down at the Three Broomsticks, the chat was still lively, and Mai soon learned which guys were hot, and which were not.

"Okay, so did you see Edward Stronghold at the Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff match last week? He is so totally handsome. Too bad he's a fifth grader and completely surrounded by girls all the time though." Alice said swooning. Mary nodded eagerly.

"Yeah yeah, he's pretty handsome, but haven't you seen that dazzling fourth grader in Gryffindor with the cute smile and the blonde hair?" She asked, her eyes wide. Alice nodded and leant forwards over the table.

"He's completely adorable. I think his name is Rupert Goldstein, he's pretty bright as well have I heard." She added and grinned. Lily glanced at Mai with an overbearing smile and shook her head almost unnoticeably.

"Oh, and that Sirius Black you always hang around with Mai, he's not half bad to be our age now is he? How is he like?" Mary asked Mai curiously, and Mai almost choked on her butter beer.

"What? You like Sirius?" She asked shocked. The two girls glanced at each other, grinned and then nodded.

"He's really cute, and has that cool way of getting that insanely black hair out of his eyes. Any girl would be crazy not to find him hot." Alice said and smiled.

"Uh…well, he is kind of nice, he can be a jerk too of course, and sometimes he's kind of a bully." Mai said and when she thought about it, Sirius and James were really two bullies, but they were always nice towards her. It didn't make their behavior okay of course, but at least they could be nice if they wanted to.

"So he's kind of a bad boy? That makes him even more handsome." The girls said in unison and made Mai gawk at them in confusion. She really didn't understand that way of thinking. They liked Sirius because he could be mean, that just didn't make sense at all.

When they headed back to Hogwarts, they accidentally bumped into Mais' four friends. Sirius and James and Peter grinned as if it was pure coincidence, but Remus seemed almost guilty. Mai raised an eyebrow at them, before politely introducing them to the girls. Both James and Sirius were on their best behavior, and Mai was glad. The four buys were heading into Hogsemade again because James had "accidentally" forgotten his small bag of money at the Zonko fun store, so they had to turn and "accidentally" bump into Mais' new girlfriends. Mai tried to smile sweetly and said goodbye to her friends. They lingered only for a few seconds before shrugging and walking the opposite way into Hogsmeade. When they were almost out of hearing range, both Alice and Mary squealed. Lily rolled her eyes mildly and kept walking. Mai followed her lead and the two girls tried to ignore the chatting about how adorable and cute Sirius and James were when they scratched their necks innocently, and grinned like fools. Lily even invited Mai to sit with them at dinner, of which Mai happily obliged, thinking that perhaps Lily wanted to talk about something else than boys all the time.

At dinner they chatted about high and low, while Mary and Alice still kept on going about various boys that entered and left the hall. They seemed to know every boy in every grade and what they all were good in and who dated and who were free. Lily and Mai tried not to laugh when the girls almost swooned at a fifth grader smiling at them when he passed by. It was great having someone like Lily to talk to, and as the third grade went to an end, Mai and Lily grew closer together. Mai still kept a close connection to Sirius, James, Remus and Peter though, but they kept on slipping further away. She believed it had to be a boy girl thing, but she didn't want them to not think of her as one of them anymore. When she asked them, they just avoided eyecontact and changed the subject. Perhaps they didn't like her spending so much time with Lily. And when Mai asked Lily about it, she assured her that it was nothing to worry about, and that the boys would realize their mistake.

When summer vacation arrived, Mai had managed to transfigure a cat into a vase wordlessly, and she was proud of her progress. At this rate she might manage to be ready by the fourth grade. When she told the boys about what she had managed, they congratulated her, but didn't show what they could do. And when they entered the Hogwarts express that afternoon, the four boys abandoned and sat in a coupe where only four could fit in. Mai felt terribly lonely, and went to find Lily.

"Hey Lily, um, can I sit with you?" She asked in a whisper, afraid her voice would shake if she spoke normally. Lily looked up and smiled that bright smile of hers and nodded.

"Sure, Mary and Alice will be here in a second as well, they just had to say goodbye to their boyfriends. To think that the two of them managed to hoist a fifth grader each, it's incredible." Lily said and chuckled. Mai smiled and nodded.

"You look sad Mai, has something happened?" Lily asked concerned when Mai didn't share her laugh. A whistle blew outside, signaling that it was the last chance to board the train.

"I guess, it seems like they don't want to hang around me anymore." Mai answered and stared out the window at their two friends, each hugging a handsome fifth grader.

"Who?" Lily asked confused.

"Sirius, Remus, James…not even Peter. They're acting as if I was a disease." Mai answered gloomily and sniffed. Lily scooted over to her friend and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, it's alright, they just don't understand. Perhaps they think you're exchanging them." Lily said. Mai looked startled up at Lily.

"But I'm not! They're the ones freezing me out." She said upset. Lily hushed her and smiled.

"They don't realize that. Perhaps you should go talk to them and explain how this is making you feel?" She asked calmly. Mai felt terrible, like her skin was creeping up her arms and her insides turning and smoldering.

"I guess you're right. I just don't understand why they haven't said anything. Oh well, I'll probably see you in a bit, keep my seat open, will you?" She asked her red headed friend, and Lily nodded.

"Hey Mai, good luck." Lily called after her when Mai was halfway out of the coupé door. Mai turned and grinned, giving her thumbs up, before running to the coupe she knew her friends sat. When she got there, she tore the door open and their startled faces turned to stare openly at her. Remus' jaw fell open, and James stared with wide brown eyes. Mai panted slightly from the short run, before straightening up and putting up a determined look on her face.

"I don't get you guys." She announced. They glanced at each other, before turning their attention back to her.

"Why are you suddenly freezing me out? I thought I was one of you?" She asked heatedly. Sirius stuck his chin out at her.

"Well you're the one who hang around that Evans girl all the time. If you want to be in, then be in, but it's totally fine. I understand that you'd rather be with the girls." He said coldly and got an agreeing nod from James.

"We're supposed to be your best friends, you don't need another best friend." James added. Mai gaped at him.

"So you're kicking me out because I'm finally starting to get comfortable around here? Because I have other friends than just you?" She asked shocked, completely unaware that they could be so narrow. She turned her gaze on Remus who looked like he wanted to shrink out of sight.

"And you…you just follow their lead, don't you? Do you know who you all remind me of?" She asked angrily.

"Perhaps if you'd try to talk to us…" Remus started, but was cut off by an uncharacteristic snort from Mai.

"I've tried talking to you for the past two months, but you always change the subject. How can I talk to you, when you don't want to talk with me?" She asked frustrated hand threw her hands over her head.

"Well if you had tried to be a little more specific than just sailing your own boat, we might have understood that that's what you were trying to talk about. We're not mind readers Mai." James said defensively.

"Yeah? Well you would still have shut me out because you can't handle me being with other people than just you." Mai snapped back, feeling a little defensive herself.

"We have a secret to keep Mai, we stick together. That's what best friends do." Sirius growled. Mai glared at him.

"Okay. If that means I have to end my friendship with Lily, then I'm out. I thought you would be happy for me that I actually have a girl to talk to about the things you guys absolutely won't talk about. I'm tired of talking about girls and pranks all the time." She said and glared at Sirius with her pale green eyes and he met her with his own thundercloud colored ones.

"Then whatever Mai, see you around…or not." James said dismissively and turned away from her. Sirius looked reluctant, but he as well turned away. Mai glanced at Remus, but he had already turned and stared out the window with a distant look in his eyes. She turned to Peter who was looking from James to Sirius and then up at Mai with a apologizing look before he looked away. Mai felt a boulder roll down her throat and land in her stomach. Tears filled her eyes and her lower lip shivered. She bit it to keep it still, before she turned on her heel and marched with angry steps back to the coupe where she could sit in Lilys calming and soothing presence. She glared at her feet through her blurry eyes and tore the coupe door open and dove inside just before she couldn't keep the tears in anymore. She cried and cried in Lilys arms, while the two other girls patted her back.


	8. A contagious smile

7. A contagious smile.

That summer was torture. Mais' aunt was called out to duty endlessly, and Mai was left at home to fend for herself. She didn't get any letters from the four boys, and she had no intentions of breaking the ice first. She got one or two letters from Lily who was spending her vacation on a muggle hotel in Barbados, licking sun and bathing in warm water. Being bored out of her mind, Mai kept on practicing her soundless magic, and managed to make one of Augustines' coffee-tables walk around the room on a dog's leg without uttering a word for the spell. She thought she was getting a hold of the whole idea, but she still had a long way to go. She had no intentions of letting go of the idea of becoming an animagus even though the purpose to change had suddenly been altered. Now the reason for becoming one was so she could show herself that she was strong enough and that she actually could be an independent being, no matter what Marcellus said.

She paused what she'd been doing and smiled when she realized how little she had thought about her twin brother lately, it made her proud that he did not have such a great hold on her anymore. She watched the coffee-table prancing around the room, before she transfigured it back to normal.

Another few weeks flew by with little company from her aunt, and she spent her long days jogging lightly around the area to get herself in shape, and practicing the transfigurations and doing the house chores. After a while she tried doing the dishwashing without pronouncing the spell out loud, and ended up with ten broken pink plates and seven broken and crushed cups and glasses. She pointed her wand at one of the pink plates and thought hard on the word "reparo" and at the same time pictured a whole plate. She didn't get it quite right though, and the plate looked like it had been glued together by a five-year-old muggle. After that failure she fixed her aunts cups and plates while voicing out the spell loudly, and she finished the dish washing in the same way.

Soundless magic was harder than she had imagined, and it took a great toll on her concentration, so she went to bed exhausted every night.

Another week later, and only one week away from the start of her fourth year in Hogwarts, she sat and watched a beetle run around on the floor. It was a beetle she had created from a small silver jewelry box. The beetle was the size of her hand and shimmered of blue and green. It had large antlers and was supposed to resemble the Arabian antler beetle. Mai was pretty pleased with how it had turned out and now she managed to make it look almost exactly like she wanted it to.

Suddenly she heard a knock on the door, and she snapped out of her daze from watching the beautiful beetle crawl around and hastily tried to change it back into the small silver box. She couldn't let anyone see, she had used too much underage magic this summer, but it was alright as long as she was in Germany, because the rules were different there. In Germany the rules said that you were off age when you turned thirteen, and Mai had already turned fourteen this summer. She almost managed to change it back without using sound, but the antlers still decorated the silver box afterwards, but she didn't care and chucked it away quickly when she heard the front door open and close.

She ran out of the living room to greet whoever was coming to visit her aunt, but froze when she entered the orange colored hall. She gaped in wonder at the face greeting her, and she couldn't believe he actually was standing here in her new home. He smiled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head like he always did when he felt bad about something.

"Sirius?" Mai asked as if she couldn't really believe it was actually him. He grinned.

"It's a nice house this." He mumbled and looked around at the orange walls and the furry carpet on the floor. Mai raised an eyebrow at him, but couldn't keep a smile from surfacing.

"What are you doing here you git?" She asked jokingly and showed him into the kitchen where she searched through the cabinets for something to eat, she looked nothing but being in a joking mood though. Sirius followed her hesitantly, and stood awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen while she searched for something to serve him. She turned a few seconds later with tears in her eyes.

"What are you doing here Sirius?" She asked broken. He bit his lip and looked away, avoiding her blurry eyes.

"I wanted to see how you're doing…" He murmured. Mai chuckled joylessly and gave him a cup of tea and a plate with some cookies on.

"This way." She muttered and he followed her inside the living room. They sat in silence for a while, just sipping their tea and nipping at the cookies, until Mai couldn't keep it in anymore.

"I guess it takes a lot of nerve…huh, to show up in my hallway like this?" She asked him and he was so caught off guard that the cookie he was about to eat fell out of his fingers. His dark grey eyes watched her closely, before picking up the cookie again.

"I guess. I thought about writing you a letter, but I couldn't think about how to formulate myself to make it up to you." He muttered and stared at the cookie as if it had sprouted wings. Mai smiled a cold smile, but realized that he was struggling with himself and she didn't want to make it harder for him than it already was, so she kept from commenting.

"It's not much easier now either though. I guess communication skills should have been something we could learn in school, right? What I'm trying to say though, is that I'm sorry we were being so harsh on you. It's hard to see it from your point of view. We're guys after all, it's kind of a difference between boys and girls if you haven't noticed lately." He said and smiled kindly. Mai nodded.

"I'm sorry as well, for going off on you guys like that. It was uncalled for. I practically called you narrow headed, didn't I?" She asked and smiled. Sirius grinned.

"We probably deserved that one though. So…what've you done this vacation?" Sirius asked and suddenly seemed a lot more at ease. Mai noticed it as well; it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"What else? I've been practicing my non verbal spells and exercising so I'll be in fit shape when I'm finally ready to do the transformation." Mai said and grinned. Sirius eyes widened in surprise.

"You even continued practicing after our little fight?" He asked. Mai shot her chin out at him and grinned.

"Of course, I won't give up on it that easily. It's one of the advantages by living in Germany, I can perform all the underage magic I want without the Ministry in England managing to touch me." She said and grinned. Sirius seemed envious of her for a few seconds before he grinned as well.

"Well show me what you can do then." He urged and Mai nodded eagerly. Taking out the silver box she had been practicing on earlier. It still had antlers and she quickly fixed that before showing it to Sirius. He stared intently at the box as she placed it in the middle of the table and pointed her wand at it. Picturing the Antler beetle in her mind and at the same time chanting the spell in her head; and the box slowly transformed into a "living" being. The beetle crawled around on the table. Sirius poked at it.

"Wow, you're good. James and I have only managed to transfigure a kettle into a lamp with one human foot. It wasn't as detailed and beautiful as this one though. We haven't managed a living creature yet, but we're working on it. We'll have to wait until we're back at Hogwarts again though, but James has really tightened up our schedule, so we should be ready by the end of fourth grade." Sirius said and smiled. Mai felt like someone had blown helium into her because all of a sudden it seemed like she was flying. She had come further than them. It was so great to finally feel like she mastered something.

"I think so too. I'm really excited, and keep wondering what I'll be." She said eagerly. Sirius laughed and patted her head friendly.

"Perhaps a monkey? Wait a minute, earlier you said you'd been exercising so you would be in shape for the transformation. Is that strictly necessary?" He asked worriedly. Mai smiled.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about. I just read in the book that an animagus should be strong both physically and psychically before the first transformation because it's kind of hazardous. A wimpy girl like me would probably not make it, so I'm training my stamina and strength to keep up with you guys." She said and smiled. Sirius breathed out relieved.

The two of them talked as if they had never even had an argument and by the end of the day they had touched every possible subject. To Mais' surprise wasn't Sirius acting like the douchebag he tended to be sometimes in school. She enjoyed this side of him, but somehow she didn't think it felt right. He barely made a joke on her behalf, even though she made many on his. Was he scared to offend her again?

When he had to go back home, Mai had built up enough courage to ask him why he was acting so strange. When she did, he smiled goofily and ruffled her hair.

"We were all worried about you. I guess I've overdone the whole kindness thing, huh?" He asked awkwardly. Mai laughed and pushed his shoulder playfully.

"If it'd been Remus playing the nice-guy I would have bought it, but you are and always will be a punk, Sirius." She said. Sirius chuckled.

"Now who's being the rude one?" He asked and pushed her back.

"I'm only stating a fact." She retorted and Sirius barked.

"Oh now, don't hurt my feelings, I can only take so much." He grinned down at her. At the brink of his fourth year, Sirius was towering over her like an elephant in front of a mouse. He looked perfectly like a seventh grader rather than a thirteen, ongoing fourteen year old boy. And of course, although muffled by his somewhat outrageous behavior, he was getting more and more handsome.

"Um, we're meeting at the Leaky Cauldron a few days before school starts. If you want to, you could come keep us company?" Mais eyes lit up like rockets on New Years Eve.

"Of course." She proclaimed happily. Her smile was somehow contagious and Sirius was also grinning like a fool. They parted with a wave and Mai wished him well home, even though he grimaced at the thought of his dark wizard family and his crazy mother.


	9. Kings and queens of Hogwarts

8: Kings and queen of Hogwarts.

Mai was met with four happy young faces. The marauders greeted her with grins wide as a railway, and Mais grin was equally wide, or even wider. She was beaming, dressed in a knee length red dress she had inherited from her aunt Augustine. Augustine had used it in her teens she had told Mai, and the bone hard auror had almost fallen into tears when Mai swung around in the dress to show her aunt how it fit. The dress was not improper in any way; it had short sleeves, and a high neckline, with a wide skirt. But from the way the four boys were staring at her she would've thought she forgot to even get dressed in the morning. Their eyes were wide with wonder.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress before." James said.

"You actually _are_ a girl." Sirius said jokingly, and they all laughed. Mai was so happy to be with her friends again that she forgot the good news she had been dying to tell them. They followed her inside and while she brought her luggage into her room with great effort the four boys positioned themselves in chairs and on tables around the room. When she was ready, she faced her friends and grinned manically at them.

"I transfigured my hands into paws." She said ecstatic. Their stares told the story, and the story was shocked.

"By Merlins beard, you've already come that far?" Remus asked. Mai nodded and grinned even wider.

"If we keep this up we could be perfectly illegal you-know-what by Christmas." James proclaimed and Mai looked confused at him. Sirius stood behind Mai and was shaking his head over James' stupidity.

"Didn't Sirius tell you? We made our ears into donkey ears. It was hilarious." James said and laughed. Mais' mouth was hanging open, and remembered her dialogue with Sirius that summer, and he had told her that they hadn't come as far as her. She turned to look at him.

"Mai…" He started, but she held up her hand and forced a smile on her face and turned to James again.

"That's great James." She said. Remus looked between the three with a worried look on his face. Peter wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he as well seemed happy about James and Sirius' feat. Mai decided to kill the mood that was building up inside her by turning to Peter.

"So, what have you been doing this summer Pete?" She asked softly. Peter lit up.

"I tried to practice my wordless spells as well, but I haven't gotten quite as far as you guys." He answered and she noticed that he seemed different, somehow. She smiled. It felt somewhat better knowing that at least she wasn't preceded by Peter.

After that they left the subject completely and they started focusing on their booklists. After a quick dinner they took a walk down Diagon Alley. At Flourish and Blotts they found their books, and afterwards James and Sirius, who both were on the Gryffindor Quidditch team dragged Peter, Remus and Mai over to Quality Quidditch Supply, there they stood drooling over a new broom which had just come out on the market. Mai really couldn't understand their fascination with flying; personally she avoided it at all costs. She was extremely, exceedingly, tremendously scared of flights. James, of course, ended up buying the broomstick, just because he could. At Pottidges Cauldron Shop, Mai used up most of her savings on a new cauldron for her potions class after a small accident the third year. Safe to say, her old cauldron reminded more of a needle cushion than anything else, and as it had been done magically, it was no way to restore it.

Remus dragged them all along to the local Choco Popp candy store which was the housing of the most exclusive chocolate in the entire wizarding world. If it was anything Remus could spend money on, it was chocolate, and he hardly ever shared. Remus, kind, gentle and scarily smart was and probably would be for the rest of his life; a chocoholic. Mai found it quite cute, but Sirius and James didn't quite see it that way. The two of them with Peter trailing their footsteps left to the Joke shop to find some new prankster methods they could use. Mai waited for Remus by the entrance, she smiled as he held two, almost identical, plates of chocolate up in front of his eyes, with that look of deep concentration he so often wore.

"Mai?" A soft voice asked. Mai turned with surprise and received a warm embrace from her red headed friend. Lily Evans looked even more beautiful than ever, dressed in light summer clothing and the brightest smile possible.

"Look at you. Had a great summer?" She asked happily. Mai nodded.

"How about you?"

"Oh just about perfect, except it was kind of lonely. I missed you." She said. Mai felt happy. She had so many friends, and they all cared for her. How could anyone be happier?

"Oh hey Lily, how was summer?" Remus asked as he had paid for his chocolate and now had the precious plates in a bag. Lily blushed ever-so-slightly and smiled.

"Wonderful, and you?" She asked. Mai narrowed her eyes at her girlfriends' suddenly change of behavior. Lily reminded Mai of her other two girlfriends, Mary and Alice, who were boy-crazy. Remus grinned unknowingly.

"Oh it was great; I lived with my uncle and aunt in the Himalayans. It's exclusively… uninhabited." He added the last word carefully, and glanced at Mai. Lily hadn't caught on, luckily.

"Soo, how about the three of us go get an ice-cream together? And you can tell me all about the Himalayans?" Lily asked. Mai was now utterly and completely confused. Was Lily crushing on Remus? She could really understand why. He was handsome, kindhearted, gentle and smart. Perhaps other girls saw him with a sort of mysticism caused by his lycanthrophy? Mai didn't see that mystery about him, because she knew his secret. But wasn't that what all girls were drawn too though? Mystery? While she had been pondering her own mystery, Remus had obliged to Lily's proposal and he was now nudging Mai to tag along. Mai snapped back to herself, and realized soon enough that she was analyzing every word and sentence Lily said, and she found a hidden meaning behind everything. A hidden meaning Remus obviously didn't catch on to.

Sirius, James and Peter came along after about half an hour with bags full of prank material. James lit up like a light bulb when he spotted the red headed beauty he had been crushing on for several years already. Mai watched as he strode over to their table and leant on the table just beside Lily, giving her the "look of lust", as he preferred to call it. Lily rolled her eyes and demonstratively turned her back on him and continued her conversation with Remus. James didn't bother. He relied too much on his good looks. Mai knew now what Lily preferred, and it was not James' boasting and outspoken nature.

When they parted with Lily, Mai wasn't sure how she felt about Lily crushing on Remus. The four Marauders felt like _her_ boys, and she realized how mother-hen that made her seem, but she felt a deep responsibility for them. Of course Lily would probably be the best thing happening to Remus, but James would be crushed. A crushed James was no one's wish, least of all Remus', as he was still so grateful for even having the marauders as his friends. Mai often saw him wearing that look which said so much; how he suffered, how he wished he was normal and how surprised he was that he had friends who cared for him. Mai could identify herself with that feeling. Remus wouldn't do anything that would cause a fight between him and the three others.

The next couple of days in Diagon Alley went by so quickly Mai barely noticed the time. It was just like old times, as if the little incident on the train before the summer vacation had never taken place. It was pure bliss, and it kept on being bliss until they read the new schedules. Mai couldn't believe how hard fourth grade would be when they had to practice their soundless spells at the same time. They would not be ready that year she realized, even though James, Sirius and Peter still were irritatingly optimistic.

"Ah, come on, look at this. I have no free hours, only full-booked days all year. What about you guys?" Mai asked James and Sirius who were busy casting dirty glances after a pretty fifth grader who had pulled her skirt up to be shorter than allowed. Mai cleared her throat and James gave her an exasperated look.

"You know we have almost all the same subjects Mai, we have the same schedule as you." He said. Mai sighed.

"Yeah, but…"

"No buts' Mai-mai, if we can handle soundless spells, we can handle the fourth year." Sirius cut her off and grinned. He laid a heavy arm over her shoulders and pulled her into his armpit, which frankly was not too pleasing an experience, no matter how well he smelled. A sweaty armpit is not something you go dreaming of.

"Just enjoy Mai-mai, we're gonna have a blast this year, and the next year after that. We'll be kings, and you shall be queen, and we shall rule this school." James said and covered her other side, putting an arm around her waist. Mai rolled her eyes at them.

"I'm not going to be some sort of prank-queen next to you. That's a throne you can warm up all on your own." She said sarcastically. James and Sirius grinned.

"Oh Mai-mai, we're not talking about that, we're already presidents in the prank-arena. We're talking about what-you-know. James came up with the greatest idea the other day. How about we make a map? When we can roam the grounds at night in animal shapes, we can discover so many hidden passages you can't even count them on your hands anymore." Sirius said enthusiastically. Mai raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

"You're serious? A map?" She laughed and broke free from their arms.

"That's…really something. Anyway, see you later guys, I'm off to meet the girls." She said and waved. When she was out of hearing range, Sirius turned to James and grinned.

"Our baby is all grown up now." He said proudly with a goofy grin plastered to his face. James laughed out loud.

"You're so gay."


	10. A red lily

9: A red lily.

Mai met up with the three girls; Lily, Alice and Mary in the library. Lily, long, elegant and beautiful, Mary; short, plump, but with the most amazing brown eyes and Alice, tiny and roundfaced. They were all great friends in different ways, but Mai had always had the best connection with the red-headed Lily, who now…quite obviously, was crushing on Mais' other best friend.

"Hey Mai, we were just talking about you…or, well, about your friend." Mary said with glee in her brown eyes and glanced at Lily, who blushed furiously. Mai smiled crockedly and nodded.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, that Remus Lupin guy. Apparently, our dear friend Lily here has a slight crush on him." Lucy said and grinned broadly, nudging Lily in the ribs in the process. Lily grimaced and looked apologetically at Mai.

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you sooner, but they forced it out of me. I guess I've been acting quite transparent, haven't I?" She said awkwardly. Mai smiled and sat down beside her.

"Quite. So, what exactly is it that you like about him?" Mai asked. It felt strange, too strange as Lily got a dreamy look on her face and a smile that was just plain… creepy.

"He sits beside me in charms sometimes, and he's so kind and smart, and he's got this mysterious aura that I just can't place. He cares for people, it's nice. And unlike other guys I get to know, he hasn't tried to hit on me. Not once." She said and smiled. Mai was surprised, but tried to hide it by messing around in her bag to find the homework for Transfiguration.

"So…the reason you like him, is because he isn't that kind of interested in you?" Mai asked after gathering her thoughts.

"No, you got it wrong. I like him for him, not the fact that he's totally uninterested. I think I would have liked it if he was interested in me." She spluttered, blushing again. Mai laughed and shook her head.

"I hear you."

"Sooo, could you put in a good word for me?" She asked. Mary and Alice was listening in with wide eyes and grins. Both had boyfriends of their own, even though they tended to change them as often as they changed socks.

"Er, do you think that's such a good idea?" She asked uneasy, knowing she couldn't do that to James. He genuinely liked Lily, even though he had a strange way of showing it.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You like him too." Lily said embarrassed. Mai gawked at her and held up her hands in front of her.

"No, no, no, it's just that…James…"

"Ah, I see. I don't want to put you in a difficult position with your friends of course. I can handle it. As long as I know you support me." Lily said and smiled. Mai felt relief flow through her, washing away her worries and left her refreshed and clean.

"Of course." Not entirely meaning it, as she was still kind of protective of Remus. After that they left the conversation and worked on their homework instead. It gave Mai plenty of time to think about what had just happened, and what it probably would lead to. She wasn't sure she liked where her mind was taking her. When she realized she had read the same page four times she gave up on studying and packed the transfiguration book into her bag again. She bid goodbye to her friends and left the library, walking back towards the Gryffindor tower.

Of course, her luck had run out that day, and as she turned the corner, she had three Slytherins waiting for her. They were grinning ruthlessly and they had their wands at the ready. That's all she noticed before the hex met her chest and Marcellus' cold, humorless laughter registered in her brain.


	11. bittersweet revenge

10:Bittersweet revenge.

"Mai?" A familiar voice called her, "MAI!" the voice suddenly got urgent and warm hands were on her shoulders. Mai opened her eyes to look at Remus, his face was worried. She smiled and sat up. She had been lying on the hard floor for Merlin knows how long and her muscles ached like a maniac. Remus supported her up in standing position. She opened her mouth to thank him, but all sound that escaped her mouth was a squeak. Remus' eyes widened like tinplates.

Another squeak escaped her, and then another.

"What happened to you?" Remus asked. Mai gave him a glare and he looked slightly ashamed.

"Right, sorry. Well, let's take you to McGonagall. This is obviously a jinx or even a hex." Mai nodded and tried to think positive. She sounded like a squeaking mouse, there had to be a way to undo the hex pretty quickly. The two of them walked down to Minerva McGonagalls office. Remus knocked and the long, skinny and drawn lady opened the door. She was dressed in a long black dress with a emerald green jacket on top. As far as Mai knew, McConagall was the only witch she knew that looked like…well, a witch. As far as the myths go anyway.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow at the sight of her two, perhaps, most promising students, due to their excellent behavior and grades.

"Ms. Santiago, Mr. Lupin, what brings you her…at this hour?" She asked in her quirky voice and Mai glanced at Remus. He cleared his throat.

"Well, I'm actually not sure, but I think Mai have been jinxed, professor." McGonagall turned to Mai with a quizzical look.

"She can't…speak…professor." Remus added. McGonagalls brows drew down into a dangerous V-shape.

"Come inside then." She said and stepped aside so they could come in.

The transfiguration office was very clean and tidy, as expected by Professor McGonagall. It wasn't dark and dusty like the Potions office, and neither messy and full of strange animals like in the Defence against the dark arts office. The professor showed Remus and Mai a seat each and sat behind her desk, a furrow growing between her eyebrows.

"If it's a mute jinx, it should be quite easy to lift, but with your gifts I should think you can lift a jinx like that, Mr. Lupin. So what is the real problem here?" Minerva asked and leant forwards on her elbows. Remus looked at Mai. Mai opened her mouth to try and speak, and small squeaks and whimpers came from her instead of the sentence she initially had intended.

"Who would jinx a innocent and sweet girl like you?" McGonagall asked surprised and leant back in her chair again. She looked thoughtful.

"Well, I oculd always try to lift the jinx with the counter-jinx for _silencio_, but I doubt it will work. This could actually be a specially designed hex." Mai squeaked.

"Oh don't worry, I'll try my best to find a counter-hex or jinx to lift it. It shouldn't be a problem. Come back tomorrow night or I'll send someone to fetch you once I get it." She said and almost smiled encouragingly. Remus thanked the professor for both of them and they left her office. Mai looked frustrated up at Remus and he understood, but at least it was Saturday, and no school.

"Oh, that reminds me, we're going to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Does this mean you won't come along?" He asked. She couldn't help but notice the disappointment in his voice. She smiled and shook her head.

"Um, does that mean no I'm coming along, or no I'm not coming along?" He asked. Mai laughed, which sounded strange as only small squeakes came out of her mouth.

"Oh…I understand…you're not coming along then? Too bad, I was going to buy you some chocolate to make you feel better." Remus glanced sideways at her and grinned. Mai caught the sarcasm and grinned back.

When they got back to the Gryffindor tower, almost everyone had gone to bed, except for (of course) James, Sirius and Peter. They all sprung to their feet when Remus and Mai climbed in through the portrait hole.

"Where have you been?" James asked. Sirius grinned.

"Did you two honky ponky in one of the empty classrooms?" He asked with that infamous crocked grin of his, which supposedly made all girls melt. Remus merely shook his head tiredly and went to sit down in the sofa. Mai followed close behind and squeezed in between Sirius and the huge cozy sofa pillow. While Remus explained Mais' tricky situation she sat thinking of how she could make herself understood while her voice was like that. Sirius and James gave a few "oh's" and "ah's" and Peter just sat with wide eyes and gawked.

"So, this somebody that jinxed Mai is obviously a slytherin." James said. Mai snapped her head towards him and nodded eagerly.

"Oh, of course, you saw who it was." James said.

"Was it your sadexcuseforabrother?" Sirius asked. Mai shook her head. It hadn't been him casting the spell. She was sure of that. She believed he had two other, older slytherins with him. As far as she knew they were both seventh-graders. Suddenly she got an idea. Mai sprung to her feet and ran up to the girls dormitory, fetching a parchment and her magically writing quill, which she had received for Christmas from her aunt. When she got back the four friends stared wide eyed at her, as if she'd gone crazy. She held up the parchment, performing a nonverbal spell so it would float beside her, and the quill scribbled what she wanted to say.

"So there were three of them, and Marcellus was there, but he didn't curse you?" James asked. Mai nodded.

"This calls for a revenge hex." Sirius said seriously.

"Yeah." Peter chirped.

"This means war." James added and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger. Mai scribbled something on her parchment again.

Remus eyes widened in wonder, while Sirius and James (the born troublemakers) grinned viciously, completely agreeing with her sense of justice. Peter nodded agreeing and could barely sit still from the excitement. They used some time to plan out their revenge, before they all started yawning and barely fell asleep on the couch. They bid goodnight and the boys and the girl parted up to their respectable dormitories. Mai could barely sleep, even considering how exhausted she felt. The plan was foolproof, not even Peter Pettigrew could screw it up. They were bound to succeed.

The next morning at breakfast the five friends, perhaps with the exception of the slightly skeptic Remus Lupin, were eager to get started with the revenge-plan. It was all too easy really. After learning nonverbal magic, easy hexes and jinxes would be no game at all. And they could do them to the ones responsible for Mais' unfortunate situation without the seventh-graders and Marcellus knowing who had cast them.

After eating and grinning like fools, they set out on their secret mission. Mai had her parchment and her quill with her constantly, but they all knew what to do, so she didn't really have any need for it.

The first victim was one of the seventh-graders. A tall lanky boy with brown hair and a smug look, even though he looked like a horse. That one was James'. And James, with his excellent repertoire in hexes, cast a hex the seventh-grader soon would forget while in the bathroom. James went in after him and sat in the toilet booth next to the target. He pointed his wand at where he suspected his stomach was, and without uttering the spell out loud, he suddenly heard a lot of loud vomiting sounds from the other side. James grinned pleased when he came out from the bathroom, struggling to not break down laughing. Sirius, Mai and Peter stood just around the corner waiting for him.

"I don't think he'll bother you again Mai, vomiting slugs is something you don't forget so easily." He said and doubled over laughing. Sirius grinned and patted his friends back. Mai felt a surge of happiness. Her friends stood up for her, it was the best feeling in the world.

Their next target wasn't that easy to find. The last seventh-grader hadn't left the Slytherin common-room that day, and when he finally did it was in a larger group of other seventh-graders. James, Mai, Sirius and Peter followed them at a safe distance. The group of slytherins was headed for the lake. It was a beautiful, sunny day, so it wasn't so strange that they wanted to be outside. The marauders, lacking Remus, sat down under a tree nearby and talked loosely about quidditch while keeping a close eye on their target. After about half an hour, Remus came down from the castle as well, carrying a book under his arm and a parchment under the other. He sat down beside his friends.

"Any luck yet?" He asked with his eyes glued to a page in the book. James told him about his attainment. Remus actually looked impressed up from his book.

"And who are you trying to backfire on now?" He asked and glanced briefly over at the Slytherin-group. Sirius described the one they were targeting. Remus nodded.

"I'll get this one." He murmured. Sirius wanted to protest, it had been his turn and now Remus was ruining his great plan, but Remus seemed eager to do it. Mai scribbled on her parchment.

_You can't do it while we're sitting this close to them. _

Remus ignored her and pointed his wand at the target in secret and murmured a few words. Mai watched as the Slytherin snake got alert, and turned his head towards Mai with a stare that could have frozen hell over. He rose slowly and started walking towards her. His friends stared after him as if he'd grown donkey ears and was dancing Lollabalula with Professor Flitwick. He was a handsome young man really, with black wavy hair, pale skin and intense blue eyes. If he hadn't been such an evil creature Mai would have found him exceptionally attractive. He stopped in front of her and bowed deep.

"I am truly sorry for what we did to you fair lady, and I promise it will never happen again. I will give you a fair chance at getting back at me. Order me to do whatever you wish, and I will do your bidding." He said, his voice smooth. Mai gawked at him, but she felt her anger bubble up inside her when she remembered what he had done to her. She scribbled furiously on the parchment. He read the words with his brilliantly blue eyes and nodded.

"As you wish." He said, and walked down to the lake. Without stopping, he jumped right into the icecold water and ducked under. Mai gasped and sprung to her feet. Remus jumped up as well.

"What did you ask him to do?" He asked panicked. Mai shoved him the parchment. It read:

_Go visit the giant squid, so I can stop looking at you. _

"Mai, he was under my spell. He'll do just as you told him, and only when he has achieved that will the spell be broken." Remus said panicking. Mais' eyes widened in shock and she ran down to the edge of the lake. There was no sign of the young man. His friends were also standing there looking after him now, calling his name. Mai turned to Remus in frenzy.

"You have to break the curse Remus." She said.

"I can't, there's no counter-hex." He said apologetically.

"He'll die, I never intended this." Her heart was racing like a jet and indecision only put the target at more and more risk. She pulled off her sweater, scarf and shoes and without second thought dived into the freezing water.

It was a terrible fifty seconds in the water. The cold made her skin prickle and numb and she couldn't see much as the water was dark and murky. She pulled out her wand and lit it, sending a ball of light down in the water. It was a spell they had just learnt and she had learnt to perform it nonverbally just a few days after. Far below the surface she could see the silhouette of the Slytherin she didn't even know the name of. The one she had asked to drown himself for her. He was motionless. She kicked with her legs and shot downwards. Luckily she was a good swimmer from swimming in the lake behind the family house as a child. It took the longest time to reach him, and she grabbed his arm and pulled, but he didn't budge. She narrowed her eyes and held her wand out, trying to see what was holding him back. Her eyes widened. A grey, thick something was wrapped around his leg. She sent another light downwards, to see what it was. A startled sound escaped her and airbubbles circled to the surface. Without hesitating, she sent a severing charm at the grey substance and it let go. Mai kicked off in the water and this time the slytherin rose to the surface with her. She paddled for her life with her feet. The need to breathe was getting threateningly close.

She pushed the slytherin upwards and he shot to the surface. She saw him break the surface, and hands dragging him out of the water. Desperately she paddled, but her lungs were so painfully empty with oxygen, that without thinking, she opened her mouth and dragged ice cold water down into her lungs, just to fill them with something. The pain was unbearable, and she panicked. Her eyes were glued to the surface, but it seemed so far out of reach. Her arm stretched upwards, but it didn't reach the light. And then she started sinking. Her feet had stopped paddling. Her arms had stopped trashing. Her heart slowed its rhythm. It was so cold.

Just before her eyes closed, fingers closed around her wrist and dragged her up.

When the air filled her lungs again, it was painful, but still a great relief. She lay on her back on the grass beside the lake, with both slytherins and Gryffindors surrounding her. The sky was surprisingly blue, and the faces surprisingly worried. Even the slytherins.

"Are you alright, Mai?" Remus asked. Beside the light, brownhaired boy with all the scars sat Sirius. He looked more handsome than ever, with his long black hair in wet tangles, framing than suntanned face with the thundercloud eyes.

Mai nodded and looked up at Remus. His face looked drawn. His strange dark eyes were filled with worry and relief.

"We should get you to Madam Pomfrey, can you walk?" Sirius asked. Mai nodded again and Remus and Sirius dragged her to her feet. The slytherins were starting to draw back to what they were previously doing now. Mai was grateful. James came over to her and dragged her sweater over her head and Peter wrapped the scarf around her neck.

"That was really…brave of you Mai." Peter commented. Mai smiled at him, and allowed Sirius and Remus to support her up to the castle, with James and Peter trailing behind. Even though Sirius was just as wet as Mai, he didn't shiver as violently as she did while they were walking and Remus threw her worried glances all the way to Madam Pomfrey.

Madam Pomfrey immediately pushed Mai behind a partition wall and demanded her to change into a hospital gown. Mai gladly shed the wet clothes, and dried off with the towel Pomfrey had barely just thrown after her.

All the boys were still there when she was done and Madam Pomfrey showed Mai a bed she could sleep in until she was sure she hadn't suffered any damage from her trip under water. Obviously one of her dear friends had told the nurse about what had happened while she was changing. Mai snuggled under the covers and smiled up at her four boys.

"Are you feeling better?" James asked. Mai nodded, but looked around for a parchment and a quill. Peter realized what she was looking for and gave her, her own parchment and magical quill which she had left by the tree. She wrote two simple words.

_Thank you. _

They all smiled at her.

"Soo, about the revenge on Marcellus?" Sirius leant closer and lowered his voice so Madam Pomfrey wouldn't hear him. Mai shook her head.

_No more, I don't wa__nt anyone else to get hurt. _

"But, it was your great plan." James protested. Mai sent him a strict stare.

_I changed my mind; no one was supposed to get hurt. How is he, the slytherin? _

Mai was ashamed that she had all, but forgotten the one she had sent to visit the giant squid. She shivered involuntarily at the thought.

"He's alright, doesn't remember a thing. He wants to thank you though." Remus said and nodded towards one of the other occupied beds in the room. Mai looked at where he was hinting and she saw the handsome slytherin in a deep sleep. She shook her head.

_He shouldn't be thanking me. _

No one said anything else, but they all looked a little ashamed. After a short while, Mai fell asleep.


	12. Cinderellas nightmare

11: Cinderellas nightmare.

When she woke up, all the marauders had left, and Professor McConagall sat at her bedside, looking through a small stack of cards on the bedside table. She looked up when Mai woke.

"That was a foolish, but brave thing you did, Ms. Santiago." McGonagall said.

"Your friends just left. Madam Pomfrey told me you can go, seeing as you suffered no illness from the experience. Mr. Longyard wants to speak with you, and oh, I lifted the curse." Professor McGonagall smiled slightly and left the room. Mai sighed, but had a feeling the professor already knew what had happened. Mai got dressed in a dry pair of jeans and sweater someone had left by the bed for her, she guessed it was Lily, and left to find Longyard, which obviously was the slytherin boy. According to the clock in the sickbed, it was time for dinner, and seeing as her stomach growled like a threeheaded dog, she walked to the great hall. The hall was filled with chattering and laughing and Mai soon spotted Remus and Peter sitting at the far end of the table with a few open spaces beside them. Mai made her way over to them and sat down. Remus smiled, slightly strained.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, McGonagall lifted the curse, and I'm not sick yet." She replied and filled her plate with delicious looking meatballs and mashed potatoes.

"Look, it's my fault, I didn't think…" He cut himself off and stared at his plate. Mai touched his shoulder.

"Hey, I was the one who asked him to go visit the Giant squid…and by Merlins beard he did. I saw it." Mai said, expertedly getting Remus' mind on something else entirely. His eyes widened.

"You saw the giant squid? For real?" Peter asked. Mai nodded.

"It had a hold on Longyard, so I sent a light down to see what it was and it was huge. Like super huge." Mai explained. A couple of third grade girls sent Mai a long calculating look, before turning away again.

"What's their deal?" Mai asked and seeing as Remus seemed more and more uncomfortable, she glued her green eyes onto him. He cleared his throat and looked away. Peter laughed.

"Remus has been receiving fan mail." He said.

"For real?"

"Yeah, this afternoon he found several boxes with chocolate on his bed. James and Sirius were so sure the chocolate was for them." Peter said and laughed again. Mai smiled and shook her head. They ate in silence until suddenly Lily sat down opposite of Remus, with Mary and Alice. Mai looked up.

"Hey." She said. The three girls greeted her. Remus smiled at Lily, which was the only one of the girls he actually knew, and Lilys' cheeks burned crimson.

"Have you heard that Professor Dumbledore is throwing a ball on Halloween this year? Instead of the usual feast I mean." Lily said to Remus. Remus who was totally ignorant of Lilys' feelings looked confused for a second.

"Oh yeah, I heard."

"And instead of the boys asking the girls, it's supposed to be the girls asking the boys." Lily informed. Mai listened intently.

"Oh, sounds interesting. Parties aren't really my thing though." He muttered and looked up at the roof which pictured the weather outside. It was going to be a full moon the same night as halloween. Lily looked like the disappointment itself and Mai felt bad for her. It had taken her several days to get the courage to even get this far.

"Okay… um, so, have you done the transfiguration homework for tomorrow? I can't seem to get it right, and you're basically a natural in transfiguration, so I wondered if you could help me?" Lily asked and smiled. Mai had to admire her courage, asking something like that was something she would never dare. At that moment a small group of slytherins walked in and brushed past where Mai and Peter sat, side by side. Marcellus sneered when he passed her and her breath caught in her throat. His presence was just as intimidating as always. She didn't feel any stronger or different than that day in first grade where he had banned her from her own family. Remus looked worried at her from across the table, but she just shook her head and left the table. He understood and let her go alone.

Mai headed towards the common room with a burning wish to find Sirius or James. She needed their carefree humor instead of Remus or Peters' carefulness. She didn't need careful, to get rid of Marcellus' grip on her, she needed a little danger.

"Mai, Mai Santiago?" A male voice, (which she had heard before) called. She stopped and turned around, seeing the tall handsome Slytherin she had coaxed into jumping into the lake. His black hair bounced lively when he walked, and it framed his handsome, sharp features. His blue eyes were intense, but friendly.

"I wanted to know…what you did to me. I can't remember much from before the cold…water." Longyard said in his smooth voice. Mai nodded, but wouldn't sell out Remus, so she told the seventh grader about the spell _she_ had cast on him, and surprisingly enough he didn't seem angry.

"I see. I guess I deserved that one after what we did to you. If it had been me, I wouldn't have dived into the water to get me. If I'd been you I would just see if some of my coward friends would have saved me instead. You're not so bad, for a Gryffindor." He said and smiled. A smile that could have melted the coldest heart.

"I didn't think, I was just so angry. You don't seem so terrible either, so why do you hang around my brother?" Mai asked.

"Your brother is very… interesting. Being his friend isn't a bad thing, but being his enemy is." Longyard answered honestly. Mai could understand his reason; she had been there once as well.

"I guess it's not very cool being the one who got rescued by a fourth grade, Gryffindor girl?" Mai asked and smiled slightly. Longyard chuckled and shook his head.

"Can't say it's a walk in the park, but I'll manage. Better to be alive isn't it?" Mai nodded.

"Well, anyway, I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. I owe you." He added.

"Don't mention it, seeing as I was the reason behind it all." Mai said.

"I could try and reason with Marcellus if you'd like? Make him stop bullying you."

"No, that's alright. I'll just let him prove to everyone how childish he is." She said. Longyard laughed out loud.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan. I'm Noah by the way, if you need anything I'll try my best to help you out." He said. Mai thanked him and they parted on good terms. Mais' mood felt better after that, and when she got to the common room she wasn't so disappointed at not finding Sirius or James there.

A few weeks later, and only a couple of days away from Halloween, Mai had still not asked anyone to come with her to the ball. Almost all her friends, except for Peter and Remus had already gotten dates, but Remus would be a bloodthirsty werewolf that day and Peter was…well, Peter. Mai was almost despairing, because Alice and Mary would both bring their boyfriends, and after Lily had been "turned down" by Remus, she had asked a handsome Ravenclaw fifth grader called Altair Dagonet. She didn't have a dress either. After a boring hour of Arithmancy sitting beside a sleeping (and drooling) James; Mai, James, Sirius and Remus were walking towards the astronomy tower for another long class.

"So… Mai, found anyone to bring to the party yet?" Sirius asked. Mai grimaced and hugged the books closer to her chest.

"No, I wouldn't know who that should be anyway. I don't have any interest in any special boy right now." She said and shook her head so the long braid whipped from side to side. That wasn't completely true of course. Ever since the strange encounter with Noah Longyard, she had caught herself looking after him whenever they passed each other, or look for him when she didn't spot him right away. Sirius laughed.

"Don't tell me you're not jealous of the girl who's taking me. Because I know you are." He joked and nudged her shoulder. Mai stuck out her tongue at him.

"Right, in your dreams." She muttered.

"Yes, every night." He shot back and caught Mai off guard. James spluttered and toppled over laughing. Remus chuckled amused while Sirius grinned quite pleased with himself.

Well, if she didn't find anyone to take, she could always spend the evening practicing her soundless spells and transfigurations. Somehow that was perhaps the saddest thought she had had in a very long time. If she was going she would have to send a letter to her aunt and ask if she had a dress anyway, something she doubted. She couldn't use the one dress she had gotten in summer either because it was a casual dress. It would look strange if she came to a party in an everyday dress.

Sighing she sat down beside Sirius in astronomy and listened only with one ear while her head buzzed with problems and possible solutions. After getting an assignment of two thousand words by next week about the star constellation Canis major. Mai found it interesting how Sirius' family, the Blacks, all had names from stars or star constellations. Sirius, which is the brightest star in Canis Major. His younger brother, Regulus had the same name as the brightest star in the constellation Leo. His cousin, Bellatrix was the name of a star in the constellation Orion.

When Mai asked Sirius about why they all had star names, he just grunted and said that "the wicked witch", meaning his mother, had always been extremely fond of astronomy.

"Curse her heart." He added under his breath.

The same day as the Halloween party was being held, Mai went into Hogsmeade by herself to buy some chocolate for Remus, who was not in the best shape. She was possible the only one who knew which chocolates he liked best and which he hated. She passed a dress-shop and stopped to stare at a floor length, green dress. It would have been perfect with her own green eyes, but it was terribly expensive, so she tore free and continued on to shop some chocolate. The candy shop that Saturday was as crowded as a small shop can be, and students ran around everywhere with escaping chocolate frogs and biting caramels (literally biting). Mai forced her way through the crowd over to the shelf she knew Remus' chocolate would be. She picked out three plates; one white unicorn, one black magic and one dragonmilk chocolate. They were all expensive chocolate, but Remus liked that it was at least some quality taste. She smiled at his small strange quirks which made Remus into Remus.

After paying for the chocolate with the coins Remus had given her, she decided to actually go and try on the green dress. It couldn't hurt, she wasn't going anyway, mostly because she didn't have the guts. Perhaps, if he hadn't thanked yes to the first girl that asked him, she could have considered asking Sirius, even though he would have mocked her for all eternity for it. She sighed and shoved the door to the dress shop open.

Behind the counter stood a strange looking witch. She had a body tight black dress in velvet and a ton of jewelry together with a bright red witch hat. Her face looked like that of a horse, and when she grinned broadly at Mai she saw that several of her teeth were in silver. Mai smiled nervously back.

"Can I help you with something?" The woman asked kindly with a voice that reminded Mai more of a neighing donkey.

"Um, I was wondering if I could try on the green dress in the window." She asked. The woman smiled again with her kind of frightening grin and went to fetch the dress.

"You're a lucky girl, this is the last piece." The woman said when she handed the dress over. Mai nodded, but didn't feel very lucky when she examined the price tag.

"The changing room is over there." The woman pointed at a red curtain at the other end of the shop with a long ringed finger. Mai thanked her and disappeared inside the room.

Of course, the dress sat like it was sewn for her. It hugged her small waist and fell in elegant folds around her legs. The chest was strewn with small pearls that twinkled in blue and ocean green. She sighed when she looked at herself in the mirror. How fun it would have been walking into the great hall, beside "someone" bearing a dress like that. She checked her purse to see how many golden coins she had left, and came up short. Another sigh escaped her before she walked back into the changing room and changed back into her casual clothes. The woman behind the counter smiled apologetically at Mai as she passed her. The look of pity. Mai shuddered.

A cold wind had picked up while she had been trying the dress, and rain whipped her cheeks as she ran back to Hogwarts. When she finally got inside the gates she was cold, wet and tired. The hallways back to the common room, where Remus would be waiting for her, seemed as long as a bad year and her frozen toes warmed up slowly, prickling as they did so. Her hair had fallen out of its braid and hung tangled down her back like a spider web from hell. She blew warm breath on her blue fingers, desperately longing for the cozy fire in the common room. That was until she bumped into a tall figure, which apparently was in a hurry. They both toppled over into a heap of arms and legs. Mai scrambled to her feet.

"I'm so sorry, are you alright?" She asked and held out a hand to the young man still on the floor. It was the slytherin Noah. He smiled his charming smile and took her hand. She dragged him to his feet.

"I guess it's raining outside, huh?" He asked ironically and Mai chuckled.

"I think the sun just came up." She murmured.

"Excuse me?" Noah asked confused and Mai blushed furiously, not having intended for him to hear that.

"Nothing…" She looked down. Noah smiled.

"So, are you going to the ball tonight?" He asked casually.

"No, I, well I… didn't feel like going." She muttered. Noah gave her a knowing look.

"That's too bad, it would have been great if you'd be there." He said and smiled. Mai melted.

"It's too late now anyway, I guess there's no boys left in the entire school to ask." She said and swung her bag of chocolate back and forth in her hand.

"I know of one." Noah said. Mai looked up.

"Who?"

"Me." He grinned and touched her shoulder.

"We could go as friends, if you'd like?" Mai was just about to say yes, when a cold shower stopped her.

"I don't have a dress, I would have loved going with you of course, don't get me wrong, it's just…" Mai bit her lip. Noah laughed.

"Don't worry about that Mai, you don't need a pretty dress to be pretty." He said smoothly. Mai blushed.

"I… I could ask my friend Lily if she has one to spare. I'll let you know." She smiled shyly. Noah grinned wide and nodded.

"Talk to you soon then." He waved goodbye, and Mai (floating on clouds) "ran" to the common room to find Lily. It was only one in the afternoon so she had plenty of time to get ready. Remus was waiting for her when she climbed in the portrait hole. His skin was ash grey and his dark eyes seemed darker and vile. The few hours before he went into the Whomping Willow were the only times she could actually see the beast within him. It was frightening.

She smiled brightly at him, and without thinking she gave him a hug.

"You won't believe what just happened." She said happily and dragged him over to the couch, completely forgetting she was still cold and wet from the rain. Remus looked worriedly at her. She pushed the chocolate bars into his hands and he looked at the critically, before nodding approving.

"I have a date." She said, almost squealing, something which was very unlike her.

"Congratulations Mai, who is it?" He asked.

"Noah Longyard, the seventh grader." She said and smiled. Remus stared at her.

"Are you serious? Are you dating the enemy?" He blurted out. Mais' smile withered away like a flower in autumn.

"I thought you'd be happy for me." She muttered.

"Mai, he's a slytherin, he hexed you, he's friends with your brother." Remus paused and shook his head. "But if you're happy, I'm glad for you." He added, but didn't really sound happy at all.

"Noah isn't really like that." She snarled and rose, refusing to look at Remus at all. He sighed.

"Who isn't really like what?" James' voice suddenly interrupted. Mai turned towards the portrait hole. James and Sirius had also been to Hogsmeade that day obviously. Too bad Mai had missed them.

"Noah, the slytherin who hexed Mai, she's taking him to the ball tonight." Remus said from behind Mai. She glared at him over her shoulder and stomped over to the stairs leading to the girls' dormitory.

"At least he wanted me to come to the party at all. I haven't heard any of you being that courtly." She snapped and ran up the stairs, tears stinging her eyes like bees. Why was she even acting so emotional? Shouldn't she have been more suspicious towards Noah? She didn't want to be one of those girls who got twined around a mans' fingers.

Luckily Alice, Mary and Lily were up in the dorm discussing what to wear for the ball already. Lily was holding up two pairs of shoes in front of the other two, asking for their advice. When Mai came storming in, Lily placed the shoes on her bed and walked over to where Mai had flung herself on top of the covers.

"Hey best friend, what's wrong?" She asked worriedly with her soft voice. Mai stifled a sob.

"I have a date for tonight, but none of the marauders approve and I don't have a dress." She forced out between numb lips. Lily smiled and stroked her still damp hair.

"Don't worry about the marauders, they're probably just jealous. So who is this guy?" She asked.

"He's a slytherin." Mai murmured, Lilys' eyes didn't judge her like Remus had done, "his name is Noah and he's a seventh grader." She continued. That caught Mary and Alices' attention and they squealed while sprinting over to her bed.

"Oh my good Hippogriff. You asked Noah Longyard?" Alice asked.

"He's like the captain of the Slytherin quidditch team and has top grades in all subjects. He's like a Slytherin god." Mary added with her large doe eyes sparkling with fan-girl obsession. Mai smiled happily.

"But I don't have a dress."

"You could try some of mine, but I guess they'll be a little too long for you." Lily said and dragged her out of bed.

The girls had great fun trying on the different dresses Lily had inherited from her own glamorous mother, but as Lily had pointed out, they were too long. The time had ran ahead of them and was now four o'clock in the afternoon. There were only three hours until the girls had to get ready, so they headed down for dinner. Mai made sure to ignore the three marauders sitting in front of the fire. Remus had obviously left for the Whomping willow already.

At the dinner table in the great hall, Mai sat facing the Slytherin table, and caught the eye of Noah Longyard. She blushed and smiled as he waved at her. Lily nudged her shoulder suddenly and pointed up. Mai followed the direction she was pointing and saw Gemini, her aunt Augustines' other owl. A Great grey owl, which is the largest owl in the world, which Augustine use to carry larger packages than what her Snowy owl named Pavo could. Gemini landed gracefully in front of Mai, avoiding the bowls of fire rice and mashed pumpkin. In his claws was a grey package which wasn't really any trouble for a large and strong owl as Gemini, but it seemed as if Augustine had been anxious to get it to Hogwarts in one piece and as quickly as possible. In his beak he held a small parchment. Mai took it and rolled it out.

_**Dear Mai. **_

_**I got your letter, and I looked through my closet to find something you could wear for Halloween. It wasn't the easiest find, but I had a dress from the time I went to Hogwarts myself and was in the wedding of your mother and father. Perhaps it's too formal, but I hope it fits you, I was thinking of giving it to you anyway.**_

_**PS: I bought it to outshine your mother on her wedding day because she was such a bitch. **_

_**Augustine**_

Mai felt a rush of adrenalin as Gemini let go of the package in his claws. Lily, Alice and Mary leant in closer to see. Mais' fingers were shivering as she gripped the package, she looked up and smiled.

"I'll let it be a surprise for tonight." She said and the girls moaned in disappointment, but they soon moved on to other themes. Mai smiled as she thought about the dress waiting for her within the grey paper. She was sure it would fit. When she had been looking through old photographs of Augustine that summer she had seen the resemblance between herself and her aunt. They had been of average weight with a slim waist, wider hips and long legs. Augustine had even had the same hair and eye color. Augustine had once been a very beautiful girl, before all the worries of an elite auror weighed her down and scars destroyed her outer beauty, but she was still a very beautiful person on the inside.

Mai caught Noahs' glance and smiled, nodding. A grin spread on his elegant features, and the same grin was plastered on her face.

Most of the Gryffindors had already headed down to the great hall by the time Lily was done making Mais' hair, and the two girls had slipped into their dresses. Augustine hadn't disappointed, and Mai would bet her life on that she had taken all the attention at Mais' mothers' wedding. It took guts to wear a beautiful white evening gown to a white wedding, but obviously her aunt had done it. The dress fit like a glove. It was, of course white, and strapless with silver embroidery under white chiffon. Lily had topped it off by lending Mai a pair of emerald earrings and a pair of silver high heeled shoes.

Mai felt like a princess in the dress, a feeling she had never had before. Lily seemed more at ease in her green dress to pop her fiery red hair and green eyes. She looked like a beautiful mermaid.

So the two girls headed down to find their respectable dates. Mai was meeting Noah by the portrait of the battle of the gnomes, and Lily was meeting her date; Altair by the stairs down to the great hall, so they parted and wished each other good luck.

Noah Longyard was already waiting for her by the portrait, and he beamed when she came closer. He extended his hand for her to take, and commented on how beautiful she looked. He was dressed in a dark blue suit with a red tie, which looked smashing on him. They linked arms and descended the stairs together. Mai was happy. It was a feeling that wouldn't last for very long.


	13. We can nearly reach the sky

12. We can nearly reach the sky.

**Sunday, 1****st**** November 1974. **

Mai woke early, her eyes still red and puffy. The weather outside reflected her mood and she turned around and dragged the covers over her head in a desperate attempt to shut out every ounce of light. She refused to think about yesterday. It was forgotten, shoved completely out of her mind, deleted and erased. It never was that easy to forget bad memories though. It was strange how the bad memories stuck better than the good ones. She moaned and buried her face in her pillow. How could she have been so stupid? Was she really that simple? Transparent? Desperate?

She turned over on her back again and slowly opened her eyes. The ceiling still looked the same; the dorm still looked the same. She glanced to the side. Her beautiful white dress hung on a hangar; at least it hadn't been ripped or destroyed. Still, she could never wear that dress again without remembering the humiliation.

A sigh escaped her before she pushed the covers down and got dressed. It was so early that no one was up yet. Something she didn't complain over and she walked down to the great hall to get some food, before everyone else came to eat. Remus was there. He looked worse than ever, with healing scars in his face and on his hands. So he had already been to Madam Pomfrey. She was usually the one patching him up after a rough night. He looked up when she sat down opposite from him. He could clearly see that she had been crying, but he didn't comment it, and Mai was eternally grateful. They ate breakfast in silence, read the Daily prophet when one owl dropped it in front of them. Remus read out loud from a front side article about how the dark wizards were roaming the muggle world under the disguise of nature catastrophes.

When the first students started to stroll in for a nice Sunday breakfast, Mai cast her eyes down and rose. Remus followed suit and walked closely beside her up to the common room. There they sat in a corner slightly hidden from the entrance and the stairs.

Mai could see how Remus was dying for an explanation.

"Is everything alright, Mai?" Remus asked after another couple of minutes in silence. It was hard to hold back the tears again, and she bowed her head to hide it from Remus.

"It was supposed to be such a good night." She whispered. Her hands fiddled with a small piece of paper someone had forgotten, until Remus' larger and warmer hand was placed on top of hers, keeping them still, and providing comfort. He was there, everything was alright.

So she told him, everything.

_Noah led Mai out on the dance floor, which was decorated with skeletons and lifelike spiders. They danced and danced, until Mais' feet were sore. Noah was like a prince out of a fairytale. He brought her drinks, he paid attention to no one but her all evening. They chatted and laughed together. Nothing could have ruined the perfect evening. _

_Sirius and James kept on throwing her worried glances, but she ignored them. This was her night. She had never been the center of attention, but now, beside one of the cutest boys in school, in a dress that had no equal she was the queen of the dance floor. Noah was the perfect cavalier. _

_And it was all oh so great, up until Marcellus meddled in. Noah and Mai had taken a break from dancing and sat beside a table by the wall. Chatting about which was better; butter beer or fire whiskey. Marcellus suddenly stood in front of them, flanked by a hunched over Severus Snape. Mai glared at Marcellus, but he just smiled grimly. _

"_Have been enjoying yourself a little too much, Noah?" He asked the seventh grader. Noah snorted. _

"_I did only as you told me to. It was too easy really. The charm worked perfectly." Noah answered coldly and glanced at Mai, she still felt like Noah was the center of the world, even though he was saying these things. _

"_And now, the verifiserum. Severus." Marcellus ordered. Snape stepped forwards and gave a small bottle to Noah, who gave it to Mai. _

"_Drink it." He ordered. Mai nodded willingly and drank it all. Noah smiled joylessly, but Marcellus was grinning like a hyena in front of a dying zebra. _

"_And so, the hex. Would you do the honours, Noah?" Marcellus asked. Noah looked almost apologetically at Mai, but uttered the same words as Remus had done and pointed the wand at Mai. At that point, the charm he had put upon her wore off, and she was completely aware of what was happening and why. Her insides were screaming, but Noah had complete control over her. _

"_What do you wish of me?" She asked Noah. _

"_I want you to humiliate yourself in front of the entire school, and tell everyone what really happened by the lake. Mai nodded, even though her mind was screaming no. She rose and walked out on the middle of the floor. _

"_I LOVE PROFESSOR FLITWICK!" She screamed on top of her lungs. The entire hall fell silent and the band stopped playing. Murmurs spread in the crowd and several girls giggled. _

"_I WAS THE ONE WHO ORDERED NOAH LONGYARD TO GO VISIT THE GIANT SQUID, AND THEN TRIED TO ACT AS A HERO AFTERWARDS, BY SAVING HIM! I'm a fraud." She yelled again. The hex wore of, and tears filled her eyes as contempt filled the glares of the students of Hogwarts. They started to turn their backs on her, anywhere she turned. It felt like suffocating, seeing everyone she knew turn their backs on her as if she wasn't there. She caught the hateful stare of her twin brother, before he as well turned away with a pleased smirk. _

Remus stared at her long after she was done telling the story.

"Why did you say you loved professor Flitwick of all people?" He asked after a while. Mai stared in shock at him; it was the last thing she had expected him to say.

"I mean, come on. That was the best you could come up with? There were so many other embarrassing things you could have done." He commented and fought with a grin. A small smile cracked Mais' shocked face, and soon they were both laughing like there was no tomorrow.

As the Sunday lazily dragged on, Mai discovered that most Gryffindors thought that what she had done to Noah was a good thing. He had been a bully for years and even the seventh grade Gryffindors had trouble with him and his friends. She got several pats on the back, but when the summoning from McGonagall came, her heart stopped for a split second. Remus, Sirius and James walked with her, but she was not intending to let anyone take the blame for her. The revenge plan had been her own.

McGonagall was not the furious self Mai had expected and completely threw her off when she invited all four of them in for a cup of tea.

"I figured all four of you would come together. Peter Pettigrew, he's not with you?" She asked and looked behind them as she led them inside the transfiguration office.

"He is doing homework for tomorrow." Sirius answered and rolled his eyes, showing what he really thought of that. Sirius had never really been fond of Peter; it was James who had taken him under his wing in first grade when it became clear that he was a target for the Slytherin bullies. Sirius had been against it from the very first day.

"That's alright. It was the four of you I wanted to talk to anyway. Dumbledore wanted me to keep a close eye on you, because he suspected you were up to something. You're always up to something." She said and her eyes glued to Mai.

"I can explain professor." Mai said meekly. But the professor just waved a skinny hand to stop her.

"I know all about the incident down at the lake Ms. Santiago. What I don't know is what you are doing after school hours, with a few certain books from the library?" McGonagalls eyebrows shot up and landed on Remus, who had turned ash grey.

"You don't need to say anything, and I don't know anything. But if you were to accidentally take a few notes from my desk on the way out, I probably wouldn't notice." She said and turned her head away to demonstrate her goodwill. Mai, Sirius and James were staring at her like gaping fish and it wasn't until Remus cleared his throat and rose the others woke from their shock.

"Thank you professor." Mai said. Minerva McGonagall looked up at her with a small smile in her usually strict eyes.

"What for?"

The marauders, lacking only one member, were almost jumping with joy as they danced back to the Gryffindor tower. James held a parchment in his hands, as if it was the Holy Grail. Just by looking at the parchment they could see it was a far simpler recipe to becoming an animagus than what they had been attempting up to now. McGonagall who was an animagus herself would know how to do it of course.

On their way back, Remus showed them an unused classroom where they lit a few lights so they could study the parchment. They soon realized that it wasn't really an easier way, but quicker and more effective, but also more dangerous. It started on self transfiguration right away. And instead of being specific when it came to the animagi transformation, it wasn't specific, the spell was very broad. Meaning it contained only a animal transformation, but it didn't specify which animal. Mai understood why they needed so much preparation before the spell. If it went wrong, or they weren't skilled enough in soundless spells, they could risk not being able to transform back, or worse, transforming only half-way. There was a reason that that the spell casting was supervised by another animagus from the department of magic.

"It's no game without a risk." James said after a while. Sirius grinned and nodded.

"What's the fun without danger anyway? If we manage this, we're geniuses. There are only seven registered animagi in our century. That's how difficult this is." He said. Mai nodded.

"Don't look so worried Remus, we're as good as ready." James said and patted Remus on the shoulder. Mai met his dark eyes and could feel his worry grow. He did not like this, but at the same time he was excited.

Marcellus obviously thought his revenge had been satisfying, because he didn't bother Mai after the incident at the Halloween ball. Most of Mais' friends had forgotten all about it, and Mai tried to as well. Lilys' infatuation with Remus slowly died away when she realized he wasn't really interested in anyone. Mai still discovered several younger girls that swooned when the "mysterious" Remus Lupin walked past. Sirius and James was another story entirely though. James, the seeker, and Sirius the beater on what was said to be the best quidditch team in fifty years, were surrounded by girls at all hours. They still got time to do their hexing of innocent students they didn't like and of course the regular bullying of Severus Snape. Mai didn't take part in it, but she tolerated their behavior, and didn't stop them. Sirius seemed to already have the longest merit list in dating girls, and he had a new one almost every week. Especially over Christmas vacation, when Mai had been at her aunts', he had changed girlfriend four times. He didn't seem to have very high standards either. The girls were pretty, but their reputation was not, and they didn't want anything to do with Sirius' friends, except for James.

Remus, Mai and Peter were buried in schoolwork almost all year around, but Mai and Peter still stole some time to practice their transfiguration. Sometimes James and Sirius joined them as well, though it seemed very sporadically.


	14. Under a full moon

13. Under a full moon.

When summer came around, Mai felt ready for her animagus transfiguration, but she was worried about James and Sirius going through with it. They had fallen behind on their progress, despite their natural gifts of knowing almost anything. Therefore she invited them to come visit her in Deutschland. She was sure Peter was just as ready as her, so she didn't worry about him. While they were in Deutschland, they could perform underage magic because the age limit was a few years lower than in Great Britain. They both said yes. Sirius would take any opportunity to get out of the Black house, Grimmauldplace 12, and James was just plain bored. They arrived by port key on a small hill just outside Augustines round, purple house. The weather was warm and Mai had dressed in a white summer dress to cool off. James and Sirius had obviously come from a rainy London, as they were dressed in rain coats and were soaked. Mai laughed at the two drenched boys, and helped Sirius with some of his luggage. He had, as always, packed way too much.

Mai showed them the "guest room" she had prepared for them, which consisted of two beds and a small table with a lamp on it. The two of them didn't complain though and settled in as if this was normal to them. Mai knew it wasn't though. They were both from quite rich families.

"Are you hungry? I'm making dinner. Augustine won't be home today, she got called to Luxembourg by the French border I'm afraid." Mai said and smiled a little sadly. Sirius and James exchanged glances before nodding. They followed Mai into the kitchen. She served them some kind of bird and potatoes. The two boys ate hungrily and praised her cooking skills. Mai smiled pleased.

"So, your aunt isn't much at home?" James asked after a while. Mai smiled while cleaning off the table and showing them the living room. Yet again James showed his leader qualities, and she appreciated him even more.

"Yes, she's one of the few elite aurors in Deutschland, so she's one of the first to be called. There are a lot of dark wizards moving here as well." Mai said. James nodded.

"You spend a lot of time on your own then." Sirius concluded. Mai shook her head.

"No, no, it's fine really. I have the company of Gemini and Pavo, and of course Atlas, her cat." Mai laughed, because at that very moment a huge, fat black cat walked into the living room. Atlas looked at the obvious intruders on his territory, hissed a little, before jumping into the sofa between them and fell asleep.

"He's not much company though." Sirius pointed out and they all laughed.

"But seriously though Mai, isn't it lonely out here?" James asked when the laughter died down and they got back to business. Mai smiled.

"I don't mind. It's peaceful. And that's what I was hoping the two of you would get credit off." She smiled. The two marauders nodded.

"Yeah, it hasn't been too much time to practice our transfigurations I guess." James admitted. Mai raised an eyebrow at him.

"You don't say. Well now you've got plenty of time, and you're welcome to stay for as long as you'd like." She said and grinned.

And by Merlin they did. They practiced transfigurations every day for the entire summer, which was fine by Mai. Because Sirius was right, it did get lonely when Augustine never came home. It was easier for her aunt to sleep and eat at the office and just leave directly on missions instead of going home in between work hours. She sent many letters though, whenever she got the time, but a letter couldn't be the same as actually having her there.

When the end of summer closed in on them, letters arrived with owls from Hogwarts. They got their yearly information about the school year, and they both moaned when they read about the O.. At the same time they got a letter from Remus. It said he had been elected Prefect.

"Sounds like our werewolf alright. His hairy little problem isn't giving him any problems at all it seems." James said and grinned. Mai laughed.

Two weeks after school start, it was a full moon. The tension was thick as porridge, and during their transfiguration class, Mai could swear that McGonagall gave her an encouraging smile. It could have been her imagination of course, but McGonagall probably knew already what they were going to do that very night. Remus had already left for the shrieking shack, and James, Sirius, Peter and Mai were going to change in the forest before meeting Remus in the Shack in their new, still unknown animal forms.

Mai was so excited she could barely sit still. Peter was as pale as a sheet, because he still wasn't sure if he could do it, no matter how many times Mai had reassured him that he could. James and Sirius sat together in the back of the classroom, silently arguing about whom would be the coolest animal. They kept on sending notes to Mai, asking her who she thought would be the coolest. She ignored them. Mai felt happy, knowing that from that night on, Remus would never be alone at the full moon anymore. And he wouldn't come back to the castle full of fresh wounds and scratches. She smiled, pleased at the thought. This was what they had aimed to do ever since they had found out about Remus:

_Mai sat in the library, it was the second year. She had the longest evaluation on a potion they had made to do for the next day, and she was anxious to get it done. Remus sat beside her, equally anxious as her. Suddenly James and Sirius stormed in, with Peter trailing flushed behind them. Peter wasn't the most athletic boy in school, so running was a strain for him. Mai and Remus looked up when they stood demonstratively in front of the table they were sitting at. _

"_You're coming with us." James pointed at Remus. He sounded angry. All color had disappeared from Remus' face. Mai looked confused at the three boys standing there like bulls ready to charge. _

"_What's the matter with you three?" She hissed. Sirius glanced at her. _

"_You should come as well. You need to hear this." He said. Mai looked at Remus whose hands were shivering. _

"_Well, come on." James commanded and the two of them rose slowly, and followed the leader out of the library. They found a empty classroom. _

"_Why didn't you tell us!" James almost shouted. Remus' eyes were glassy now and Mai wanted to take his hand to support him. _

"_Can't you trust your own friends?" Sirius asked angrily. Remus eyes widened. _

"_How did you…" He asked weakly. _

"_Oh please, disappearing every full moon, different excuse every time? It was so obvious I'm surprised everyone haven't noticed yet." James said and straightened his back and shooting his chin out. _

"_Now wait a minute, what's going on?" Mai intervened, looking from James to Remus. Remus lower lip was shivering now. James pointed a finger at Remus, and narrowed his blue eyes. _

"_Ask him." He said. Mai turned to Remus. He looked desperately at her, before he understood he couldn't hide it anymore. Sirius, James and Peter already hated him; he hadn't wanted to lose her as well. He sighed. _

"_I'm a werewolf." At first Mai thought he was joking, but she could clearly see that this wasn't a joke, even though it would be the exact thing James and Sirius could have come up with. Mai turned to James and Sirius. _

"_If this is a prank it's a terrible one." She said angrily. _

"_It's not a prank; Remus has been hiding it from his own friends." James pointed out. Peter nodded agreeing, looking nervous. Real tears were rolling down the cheeks of the twelve year old Remus Lupin, and Mai understood. _

"_So what?" She said and smiled at Remus. "You're still the same." _

"_Of course he is the same, but it sucks that he didn't tell us." James argued. Remus looked confused. _

"_You're not… creeped out?" He asked silently. James sighed. _

"_Man, I told you we're friends. Of course we're freaked out, but it's not like it's changed you." He said. Remus smiled through the tears. _

"_Besides, without your skills in Defense against the dark arts, I wouldn't have passed." Sirius added and grinned like a fox. All of them laughed. _

"Ms Santiago, are you with us?" McGonagall asked right by her ear and she jumped in her seat.

"I'm sorry professor." Mai apologized. McGonagall nodded.

"It's forgotten if you can answer the question on the blackboard. At the very moment McGonagall asked, a question popped up on the blackboard with a swing of the professors' wand. Mai read the question quickly. 'Which objects are not possible to conjure?'

"You can't use conjuration to transfigure food out of thin air, yet you can transfigure life out of nothing." Mai answered. McGonagall nodded approvingly.

"Ten points to Gryffindor for Ms Santiago's excellent answer on sixth grade material." She said and moved on in class. Mai smiled, feeling how her transfiguration practices had come in handy.

The day dragged on slowly, but finally the dark fell on the Forbidden Forest, and James, who had his father's invisibility cloak walked back and forth from the forest as there could only be two underneath the cloak at a time. When they were all hidden in the shadows of the forest, they took out their wands and stared seriously at each other.

"Alright, this is it. This is what we've been practicing for." James said seriously, as he was the natural leader of the marauders. Out of habit he ruffled his hair absentmindedly and pointed the wand at himself. The three others did as well.

"Alright, here goes." He said and grinned. "On three; one, two…three."

The morning after Remus woke up on the floor in the shrieking shack. It was strange, it felt like he hadn't transformed into a blood thirsty creature at all. He had no wounds or scratches from the evening before. Someone had placed a cloak over him while he was asleep, and he soon realized he was not alone in the house. A clacking of hooves could be heard nearby, and he turned to stare right up at a large elk, with a giant antlers, and lines around its eyes, as after glasses. He understood that it had to be James. Beside James sat a huge black dog, wagging its tail and its tongue hanging out. The dog grinned and Remus realized it had to be Sirius. A small squeak could be heard from a small, rather plump rat beside one of Sirius' paws. That was of course Peter. A low scraping sound could be heard from the other side of the door. Remus looked around for his clothes and got dressed before he walked over to open the door. Outside sat a light brown lynx with a strange pattern down its back that reminded of a long braid. Remus chuckled and realized that Mai had been shut out when he changed back to a naked human.

He let the lynx into the room and watched as they started to transfigure into humans again, fully dressed and with wand in hands.

"That… was… awesome. I'm a freaking killing machine with those antlers!" James shouted and pounded a fist into the air. Sirius glanced over at Mai and smiled.

"And I'm a dog, just like you said in third grade. It was pretty cool though." He said and grinned. Peter looked disappointed though.

"A rat, a small, yucky, disgusting rat?" He asked. Mai patted his back encouragingly.

"Don't worry about it Peter. You're the most important of us all. Without you we could never have reached the button on the Whomping Willow." She said and smiled. At that he lit up a little.

"And you Mai, a lynx. Are you happy? You looked pretty cool." James asked. Mai smiled, knowing what a lynx represented, she was pleased. She couldn't have hoped for anything better. A lynx in animal symbolism represented a great guide and a steadfast friend, but still independent. It showed the person she had become, and it made her proud of herself, giving her a surge of self confidence.

"I'm happy." She said and grinned.


	15. If you mess with the Lynx

14: If you mess with the lynx…

The next full moons, the five friends roamed the school grounds, discovering many new passageways and hidden rooms. Remus seemed happier than he had in a very long time. And they made up nicknames for each other. Remus became Moony, Sirius became Padfoot, James was Prongs, Peter became Wormtail and Mai became Lynx. It was so much fun, and they were all enjoying every minute of it.

After only a few months, around Christmas, Mai and Remus put their heads together and decided to do something really outrageously difficult. They were both great in transfiguration after several years of hard study so it wouldn't be a big problem. They had reconsidered the idea of Mister Padfoot to make a map over Hogwarts. They wouldn't stop there though; they would also add a quite difficult spell, which would show every person in the castle and on the grounds with name and footsteps. And they were going to make it foolproof.

When they told Sirius, James and Peter about it, they wanted to help. For days Sirius was arguing with a guy from Argentina (by letter) to get his hands on some specially made, and non-aging ink. And James got a expensive parchment from his father that was strong and aged slowly, and on top of that they charmed it to age even slower. They wouldn't want a map crumbling into pieces within a couple of years.

It was the evening before Christmas evening and Mai and Sirius were the only two spending their vacation at Hogwarts. Remus had yet again been invited to the Himalayans to spend his Christmas with his aunt and uncle. Mai was drawing and enchanting the map, while Sirius, for unknown reasons, sat braiding her hair.

"You know, you should really wear your hair down a little more often." He suddenly said and released her hair from the poorly made braid, and he started all over again. Mai smiled and put the quill to the parchment again to add the two gargoyles outside of Dumbledores office.

"Why? It's better to get it away from my face." Mai said.

"You have pretty hair though." He murmured and she felt him drag his fingers through it. She smiled. It was only at times like these, when they were alone, he could allow himself to put a rest to his prankster side, and act slightly normal. Mai would be lying if she said she didn't like it.

"Why thank you Casanova, is that what you tell your girlfriend as well?" Mai asked and chuckled.

"Isolde let's her hair down, so I don't have to comment on it." He said. Mai thought about his new girlfriend. The slim and beautiful Isolde in fourth grade, with her sparkly blue eyes and pouty lips, did not have dull and dark hair like Mai. Isolde had long golden locks that glittered when she moved her hair. She was a silly Hufflepuff girl with no more between her ears than a buzzing fly, but her dazzling looks was envied by most. Mai thought there might be several smarter girls that would give up their intellect to look like Isolde… and have her boyfriend.

"It's a record, isn't it? Your relationship with Airhead?" Mai asked, using her nickname for Isolde at every occasion possible. Isolde had automatically hated Mai, so it was only right to return the feeling.

"Don't know, we've been dating for a month now." Sirius answered. His fingers went through her hair on their own. Mai was proud of the strength of her hair, it was smooth and thick, but not like Goldie Locks' though.

"Exactly." Mai laughed and added another small detail to the map. It was soon done, and it had only taken them a month. She had only just realized all the possibilities that opened up when they had this map. Sneaking unseen out of the school, doing whatever they liked.

"So what does Airhead think of you braiding my hair instead of hers at Christmas Padfoot?" Mai asked after a few moments of silence.

"Air- I mean, Isolde isn't here, you are." He answered. Mai grinned at his slip.

"Yes, I am." Mai murmured and drew another few lines on the map.

"I've been meaning to ask you. What does it mean that you became a lynx?" He asked.

"It means I am a better person than I thought I would be by now." She answered and smiled.

"Why? What does it represent; all I've ever heard about the lynx is that it's said to see through almost everything with its keen sight."

"Well, as a totem animal in the muggle world, the lynx represents; observance, intelligence, curiosity, controlled power and individualism. They are often excellent guides and dedicated friends." Mai summed up all she had learnt about the lynx. She glanced over her shoulder at Sirius, and met his thundercloud grey eyes.

"Do you think it fits me?" She asked.

"Yes, every last bit of it." He smiled. "Well, perhaps except for the intelligence part." He added jokingly and laughed his barking laugh. Mai smiled.

"You're such an idiot sometimes, Padfoot." She said as she wrapped the map together and placed it in between the pages of the A History of magic book; no one would ever consider opening that.

"I'm off to bed. Good night Padfoot." Mai said and rose, stretching and starting towards the stairs.

"Good night Lynx."

After that Christmas, alone with Sirius, and the others came back to Hogwarts, including Airhead Isolde, Mai felt a strange knot in her stomach every time she spotted the "happy", snogging couple. Sirius didn't seem to notice the silent war going on between the two girls either. Isolde always sat with Sirius during breakfast, lunch and dinner, and when they were in the library. And of course, where Sirius was, James, Remus and Peter went as well, and where the four boys were, Mai often was. And Isolde did not like Mais' presence… at all. The feeling was mutual though.

"So how did your divination test go, Lynx?" James asked. Mai looked up from her Daily Prophet where another muggle born wizard had been injured by dark wizards. She was still holding her glass of pumpkin juice in her hand, as she had been doing for the last ten minutes.

"Alright, could have been better though. I'm worried about my O.W.L." She said. James and Remus nodded agreeing.

"Really? I got an Exceeds expectations in divination. It's just so easy." Isoldes snippy voice cut in.

"Yeah, because you don't need a brain to be good in divination." James muttered under his breath and rolled his eyes. That was when Mai discovered that she wasn't the only one who found Airhead annoying.

"Really baby? That's great." Sirius said and kissed her hungrily, and the couple forgot their breakfast completely. James scowled at the two.

"Hey, get a room, would you?" He snapped. "I'm losing my appetite."

Sirius broke off the kiss only to grin at James with his brilliantly white teeth.

"You're just jealous because Lily won't go out with you." He snapped back. James rolled his eyes and turned his back to Sirius so he was facing Remus and Mai instead. Peter who had been buried deep within the astronomy book looked up, glanced at Sirius and Airhead before shaking his head and continuing his reading.

"It's today that the career counseling with McGonagall is, isn't it?" Remus asked after a moment of silence. Mai nodded.

"Yeah, thought of what you want to be when you're "all grown up" Prongs?" Mai asked and smiled ironically. James grinned.

"Don't know, my grades are good enough for auror, so that's probably an option." He answered. Mai nodded. His grades were excellent, except for in transfiguration, where both Mai and Remus had surpassed him and Sirius during the fourth year.

"What about you Lynx, figured out anything yet?" Remus asked.

"Well… I was actually thinking about Healer, but the grades are ridiculous so…" She glanced at Sirius, but he was still buried beneath Isoldes arms.

"You could ask McGonagall what the requirements are." Remus said. Mai nodded.

"Yeah, I'll do that, so what do you want to do, Moony?" Mai asked. Remus looked down at his plate and poked his pancake with a fork.

"Well, considering… my furry little problem… I'm not sure I can get work at all." He answered silently. James and Mai exchanged worried glances, knowing that there was a lot of truth in that statement.

"Don't worry about it Moony, we'll… we'll find a way." Mai said and tried to smile, but it was scary knowing that Remus might have to live in poverty because of his situation. She sighed and finally drank the pumpkin juice and placed the glass on the table.

"Shall we go? It's probably alphabetically, so you will be one of the first ones Padfoot." Mai pointed out to Sirius. Isolde moaned in disagreement, and Sirius chuckled.

"Just go ahead, I'll come after." He murmured, not taking his eyes of Isoldes' blue eyes.

An aching knot in Mais' stomach just grew a few inches larger at that vision, and she snorted, turning on her heel and marching out of the great hall. All the fifth graders had been given the day off for the career counseling, something Mai was quite happy about. She didn't seem to manage to concentrate in class anymore, thinking about Sirius and Isolde (read; Airhead) gave her a headache. And she never thought she would even think such a thought, but it was the first time since first grade she was actually happy about sharing classes with Slytherin and not Hufflepuff.

On her way to McGonagalls office, she met up with Lily and Alice outside the transfiguration room, as well as almost every other Gryffindor fifth grader. Alices' face was red and puffy and her eyes bloodshot from crying.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Mai asked the shorter girl. Alice bit her shivering lip and her eyes filled with tears again.

"She just broke up with her boyfriend, and now she regrets it because he got together with Rachel Finnigan." Lily explained.

"Well, that's his loss then." Mai said. "You were too good for a Hufflepuff anyway, no matter if he was two years older than you."

Lily agreed.

Hufflepuffs' were good-for-nothings' who didn't fit in any other house, Mai thought bitterly and a picture of golden haired Isolde swam before her eyes. They were rude as well.

There were only a few students left when Mai got called in. The marauders had left for the library and asked her to meet them there when she was done. She agreed to that, but now wished she hadn't. Even though it was only counseling, she was nervous about what McGonagall would say about her choice of career.

McGonagalls sharp face appeared in the door and called her in. Mai followed and they sat down in her office.

"So, do you have any ideas of a career after school, Ms. Santiago?" McGonagall asked.

"Well, I was thinking of healer, professor." Mai answered. McGonagall fell silent for a few moments and nodded to herself.

"Yes. That'll be a lot of hard work, but I think someone with your skills in transfiguration would do just fine. Have you considered becoming a mediwizard? You could become a field doctor. With your sense of adventure I believe staying at St. Mungos would become boring after a few years." She said. Mai thought about it, and it sounded quite logical.

"The qualifications are the same for both careers though; a exceeded expectations in the N.E.' : transfiguration, herbology, charms, potions and defense against the dark arts." She looked at Mai over her glasses and smiled slightly.

"If you manage to keep your Outstanding grade in transfiguration at the O.', I think you'll do just fine as a healer. It will take a lot of work from you though, but if you really want this, I think you'd be an exceptional healer one day." McGonagall said and rose. Mai nodded and thanked her before leaving the office.

After that conversation she felt lighter. It didn't seem so terrible when she walked into the library and Sirius and Isolde sat snogging in a corner.

"Hey Padfoot." She called, and he raised his hand to show he had heard her. Mai shook her head and walked over to where Remus and James were sitting. Remus looked terribly worried about something, and James was trying his hardest not to look overly happy. She sat down at the opposite side of them and leant forwards so she wouldn't get "shhh'ed" at by the librarian.

"What's wrong?" She asked the werewolf.

"It's not certain that I'll get a job. She said she would talk to Dumbledore and see if he could do something for me, but he's already done so much, getting me into Hogwarts. It's too much to ask from him." Remus whimpered. Mai took his hand and squeezed it hard.

"Stop beating yourself up Moony, we'll get you a job, no matter what." She hissed. His dark eyes widened in wonder at her sudden ferocity. James agreed with her though.

"Yeah Moony, we'll get you a job." He said and patted his back.

Another few weeks went by, and the O.' were closing in on the five friends who had spent a lot of their time finishing up the extremely intricate Marauders map, and roaming the school grounds at every full moon. Sirius was still dating the Airhead from Hufflepuff, but their relationship had cooled of considerably, and one day… well… it was over.

Mai and Sirius (who for once was alone) were walking up to divination together, as they were the only two of the marauders who had chosen that subject. The two of them never had awkward silent moments between them, which was wonderful. Mai could joke along with him, but also set him right whenever she though he was wrong. They laughed at the same things, except for his macabre humor whenever someone stumbled and hit themselves in the school hallways. Sirius found that extremely funny, and almost doubled over laughing his barking laugh, while Mai rushed over to help the poor soul up and spare him or her from Sirius' cruel laughter.

Walking down a hallway, they met a few Hufflepuff girls who had just had divination. One of the girls, the long, slim, elegant one in the middle, was Airhead Isolde. Mai rolled her eyes and started walking faster while Sirius slowed down. Just as she passed the group, one of Isoldes friends stuck out her leg and Mai stumbled. All of her notes, books, and magical items got strewn on the floor as Mai sprained her ankle in the fall.

Isolde laughed coldly and looked down at her with spiteful eyes, throwing her long golden locks over her shoulder.

"Ops." Her friend said and giggled. Fourth graders shouldn't have the nerve to bully a fifth grader. Isolde probably was as stupid as she looked. Sirius came over to Mai and tried to help her up, but pain shot up her leg as she tried to stand on the sprained ankle. Sirius eyes changed at the sound of Mais' moan of pain and as she sunk back on the floor, he stood tall, and turned to face the giggling Hufflepuff girls. His thundercloud grey eyes seemed almost darker.

"You think hurting other people is funny?" He asked Isoldes friend, who now looked scared. Isolde snorted.

"Are you serious? She's the one who have been harassing me all the time while we've been together." Isolde said innocently. A sound that probably never had escaped Mais' lips before erupted like thunder from clear sky. A snarl, not unlike the one from a threatened lynx. Her green eyes were furious. Never had she experienced someone acting so utterly disgusting before, perhaps with the exception of certain Slytherins, but even they didn't lie so openly.

"Spare me Isolde, this is not okay. Bullying my best friends is not okay. I've seen what you've been doing to Peter." Sirius growled. Mai looked startled. That was something that had gone by unnoticed. Had she really been so caught up in her own selfish thoughts that she hadn't seen one of her best friends being bullied by a fourth grade, hufflepuff troll?

"Oh please, as if you like that fat kid anyway." Isolde shot back.

"That fat kid is my friend, and so is Mai!" Sirius barked.

"I thought you were cooler than this. That slut is nothing but a fake and a bookworm." Isolde hissed aggravated. At that comment, Mai snapped and got her wand out and pointed it at Isolde. Sirius noticed her movement and at the same time as Isolde.

"Mai, no. She's not worth your time." Sirius said. Mai had opened her mouth to spell out the hex she knew would do most damage to the hufflepuff, but she stopped at Sirius order. Isolde narrowed her blue eyes in contempt.

"See, just a cowardly bookworm." She said. Sirius couldn't have stopped the furious lynx after that. Of course, he didn't try to either. Too bad that a bunch of Slytherins came walking down the hall just as the incantation left Mai.

"_deformis nasutus_" And Isoldes cute little nose started to grow and turn red and large warts popped out on top of it, along with hairs growing out of her nostrils. Isoldes scream was terrifying, and she hid her ugly new nose behind her hands while running away with her Hufflepuff friends trailing behind, struggling to keep their offended and angry faces intact. Sirius burst out laughing, as did Mai, after getting control of her feelings again. Their laughter died away quite soon though, as Horace Slughorn, the Head of Slytherin came huffing up to the Slytherin group who had gathered around the scene in the hall. Professor Slughorns' face was red an puffed from running.

"You two, come with me." He ordered.

"I'm sorry sir, but my ankle is strained." Mai said while trying to gather her school things. Sirius helped her. Slughorn sighed and pointed his wand at her backpack and made everything fly into it and tie it shut.

"You bring Ms. Santiago to Madam Pomfrey Mr. Black, and I'll report this incident to McGonagall. There'll probably be a detention waiting for you. Shame, seeing as you're both very skilled students." He said and then started ushering the students on. Sirius shook his head.

"Can you stand?" He asked Mai. She shook her head. Her ankle was throbbing painfully, but she didn't feel like the moaning girl, so she didn't mention how painful it was. Sirius knelt beside her, made her lay one arm across his shoulders, and placed his own arm around her waist. It was as if she was air. He hoisted her up so she could stand on the foot that was alright.

"Put your weight on me." He said. Mai did as he told, and he half carried half supported her down towards the sickbed. And perhaps it was the smell of him, or the warmth that she could feel through the school uniform, or perhaps the way his breath didn't speed up even though he was strained, but Mai felt her own kind of warmth spreading through her body like wild fire. Even though her ankle hurt like someone had been jumping on it for several minutes, Sirius presence dimmed it down a little. Having him so close, distracted her.

When they arrived at the sickbed, and madam Pomfrey came towards them, Mai was completely flushed.

"Are you the one who hexed the poor girl?" Madam Pomfrey asked outraged. Mai nodded grimly, and glanced over at a bed where Isolde sat sobbing and complaining to her friends. When she spotted Mai she almost jumped through the wall to get away. It was a bitter-sweet victory, mostly sweet though.

Sirius supported Mai over to a bed and she sat down. When he was about to draw back, she grabbed his hand and held him in place. Mostly for the comfort, but also to rub her victory in Isoldes' face, even though she wasn't his girlfriend… or ever would be for that matter. Sirius looked confused at first, until he noticed Isoldes glare, and then sat down beside Mai on the bed and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. He was grinning.

"I'll fix your ankle, but you'll have to fix Ms. Isoldes' nose right after." Madam Pomfrey said and looked strictly at Mai. Mai nodded grudgingly and glanced over at Isolde who now had forgotten all about her ugly nose and sat sending lethal glares at the two Gryffindors. With a single swipe of her wand, Mai could feel the ankle mending and soon it was alright. Then she took out her own wand and walked over to Isolde. The two girls glared at each other, green met blue.

"You'll regret doing this to me." Isolde whispered almost soundlessly. Mai smiled a cruel smile.

"This isn't the only hex I know. You should be careful." She answered just as silently.

"Marcellus Santiago is your ex-twin, right? Perhaps he can help me take you down?" She asked evilly. Mais' insides chilled.

"I'd like to see you try." She snapped. And changed Isoldes nose back to normal with a reverse curse, but made sure to lay a counter-hex. Something she had read about by a coincidence. By laying a counter-hex, the nose would reappear if Isolde ever tried to harm her directly. Pleased with her work, she put the wand away, and walked over to Sirius who waited for her by the door. ¨


	16. A drunken stag

15: A drunken stag.

As the O.W.L weeks came around, Mai was a nerve wreck, literally. She couldn't eat in fright of everything coming up again during the test. The O.W.L on the first Monday was Charms. It went fairly well for all of the marauders with the exception of Peter who froze completely on the practical part. Tuesday was Transfiguration which Remus and Mai flew through with flying graze, while James, Sirius and Peter stumbled on a few of the questions. On Wednesday and herbology, Peter was the one who did best, while the four others did okay, Mai could only hope for an E. Thursday it was the boys turn to shine, and James, Remus and Sirius was exceptionally good at the practical part, while Mai hesitated a little when she was asked to perform an impermeable shield against killer curse. Still she got a few pleased nods when she knew how to send a unforgivable curse in return instead of absorbing it in the body.

Friday it was study of ancient runes, which none of the marauders was especially good in, except for Peter, who seemed to find runes very interesting.

When the weekend came, they took a day off from studying and went into Hogsmeade to get a butter beer and just relax. That was when they (again) found that they could have some fun with Severus Snape, or Snivelly as James and Sirius was so fond of calling him. They found him on his way back to Hogwarts with his old worn cloak and his crocked nose buried deep in a potions book, with his black hair hanging like curtains, framing his long pale face.

"Well, Snivelly, how was your O.W.L in defense against the dark arts?" James asked.

"What do you care, Potter?" Snape snarled.

"I saw him, he had his nose buried so deep in the sheet no one will see what it reads because of all the grease stains." Sirius commented and grinned cruelly. Mai sighed and shook her head. Remus, who was a prefect looked worried, but closed his eyes and walked on, not looking back. Mai huffed, but followed his example. She would not be proud of that decision later on in life, but she was young, and James and Sirius were her friends. And it wasn't like she felt sorry for Severus, she had her own personal contempt for him. It was the constant bullying she wasn't particularly fond of. And they were two against one, as Severus didn't seem to have anyone standing up for him whenever James and Sirius, backed by Peter decided to have some "fun".

"So, are you interested in getting your ass whooped in wizard chess?" Mai asked casually, just to make a conversation, and to get her mind of Sirius for a while. Remus looked at her with his dark eyes and smiled.

"Sure I'll play chess, but it's not my ass that gets whooped." He said and grinned.

"We'll see about that." Mai laughed and started running back to the castle, just for the freedom of it. Remus easily ran beside her. He had also been getting more and more muscular the last few years, and Mai suspected his physique was mostly because of the lycanthropy. Remus looked lazily at her from the corner of his eye, before he flashed a grin and sped up. Mai bit her teeth together and jumped after. Her braid bounced around behind her as she grabbed Remus' worn jacket and dragged him back. She laughed as she passed his puzzled face, and touched the column by the entrance to the castle first.

"Wow, I didn't know you were such a cheat Ms. Santiago." He said and did a mock-salute. Mai laughed and pushed his shoulder.

"Come on. We can't play chess on an empty stomach." Remus offered and Mai agreed completely.

The O.W.L exams were over, and the last quidditch match was being held before the marauders fifth year was over. The match was between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw had played like champions all year, but Gryffindor had James and Sirius on their team. Mai predicted an even match.

She, Remus, Peter and Lily stood on the stands cheering their house on towards victory. The spring weather had been unstable the last few weeks, and it showed its worst sides that day. The rain hit the ground like bullets and thunder cracked the sky open as if it was old, crusty parchment. At least it wasn't cold. Mai held a large umbrella over Lily and herself.

"OH, I bet that bludger wasn't the easiest to avoid. Good work Sirius." The commentator said enthusiastic at Sirius' athletic maneuver and managing to beat the bludger at a Ravenclaw chaser. The Gryffindors roared.

"What's that? James Potter has spotted something. Yes, there he goes, he has spotted the snitch!" The commentator was standing in his seat now, leaning across his table.

"And Laguna Rothfield scores, another point for Gryffindor!" The roars drowned out the commentator as James dived down towards the ground from fifty meters height. The Ravenclaw seeker reacted as well now, and spun on her broom, heading for the small, glittering, golden ball. Mai and Lily were screaming at the top of their lungs.

"HE'S GOT THE SNITCH, HE'S GOT THE SNITCH! JAMES POTTER, I LOVE YOU!!!"

Mai tried to get close enough to give her two heroes a hug, but the crowd around them was so huge she couldn't even spot them in the pulsating soup of Gryffindors. After a few seconds she gave up, writing it off as a lost cause and walked over to Lily again. She was smiling. One of the sixth graders, a handsome blonde had just asked her out on a date. Mai knew who the guy was, and he was a real catch.

"James did well today though." Lily suddenly said. Mai glanced at her, wondering if she had gotten sick.

"He's not as bad as he seems, Lily." Mai claimed. Lily glanced over at James and raised a skeptic eyebrow at Mai.

"Really?"

Mai looked over at James, and saw him snogging a third grade blonde. She sighed. Oh well, at least she had tried. She figured James possibly was a hopeless case.

The after-match-party lasted until early morning, and a lot of firewhisky. James and Sirius got drunk pretty fast and James disappeared with the blonde girl a few hours after midnight, but she soon came back. When James didn't return, and Sirius was too drunk to do anything sensible at the moment, Mai went to look for him.

She found him by the old statue of "The tiny dragon" which wasn't really a tiny dragon at all. He sat with his head hanging between his knees, looking pale and nauseated. Mai sat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Got a little too much to drink, Prongs?" She asked. He nodded.

"Do you need to throw up?" She asked.

"Probably." He muttered. Mai sighed and with ease transfigured a bucket out of thin air. Something they had been taught in their fourth year. She placed it between his legs, directly below his head.

"Where did the blonde one go?" He asked after a while and nothing happened.

"I don't think she found you as glamorous when you're sitting with your head between your knees." Mai responded.

"I'm hot no matter my condition." James snorted. Mai laughed.

"Sure you are, you're the superstud."

"I am." He said and lifted his head, looking at her with blurry, blue eyes. His stare was unfocused and tired. Mai sighed.

"Let's get you to bed stud." She muttered and placed his arm over her shoulders and hoisted him up. He was a head taller than her and twenty kilos heavier, but somehow she managed to stagger him back to the Gryffindor common room, where the party had slowed down. Most of the students had gone to bed, or passed out in chairs or on the floor. Mai supported the famous Gryffindor seeker to bed and helped him take off his shirt and pants and push him into bed and cover him. He smiled up at her and took her hand.

"Tell me how good you were to me tomorrow Lynx, so I remember." He slurred. Mai nodded and peeled his fingers off her hand, and when he finally released her, he was already asleep.

"Lynx? What are you doing here?" Sirius' voice suddenly came from his bunk. She turned around to assure him she was only putting James to bed, when another head popped up from under his covers. She had large brown eyes and shoulder length black hair. Ravina Patil was her name, an exotic fourth grader from India.

It hurt. Mai couldn't deny the feeling welling up in her stomach. Her eyes watered, but luckily it was so dark that he couldn't see it.

"I was just getting Prongs to bed. He's passed out." She whispered. Afraid her voice would crack once she spoke out loud. Sirius nodded and smiled.

"You're a good friend." He said. That hurt worse. Mai forced a stiff smile to her numb lips, before she turned on her heel and almost ran out of the dorm.

She couldn't go to bed that night. It felt like her insides had been mashed to bits and pieces, and only her shell of a body was keeping her together. Never had she thought she could hurt like the day her twin brother rejected her, but this was worse. So much worse. So this was heartbreak, she thought as she snuck out of the castle and into the forbidden forest, where she changed into the lynx, with the braid pattern down its back. She changed so she could feel… less.

The next morning, she didn't feel a lot better, but at least she had managed to blow off some steam before having to face a sober Sirius. It was silly of her to act snippy or angry, it wasn't like they'd been dating or anything. And he had never known she felt attracted to him, and not just attracted, she loved absolutely everything about him. Even the small things like how he always tapped the breakfast egg with the back of his spoon before peeling it, and how he always seemed to have a smart comeback in every conversation. Now those things angered her. She was angry at Sirius for being what she had chosen to ignore; a man whore.

So with all that logical reasoning, why did it still hurt like someone had stuck a firedrake in her chest? Why couldn't she love someone who actually was nice? She huffed at herself while she was brushing her teeth and glared at her own mirage. Her green eyes narrowed and her mouth was pressed together. She came to the conclusion that she looked like any other heart-broken girl. That was bad. And, even though she never used it, she took her wand, and used some of her transfiguration skills to alter the puffy eyes back to normal and the grey bags under her eyes into smooth olive skin. When pleased, she pulled her brown hair into a ponytail and braided it.

It was the last day of school before the summer, and then she wouldn't have to see the douche bag before fall.

During the dinner, Sirius was nowhere to be seen, so Mai could safely sit beside Peter and opposite of James and Remus. James looked like someone had hexed him into vomiting slugs, judging by his pale face. Mai smiled at him.

"How are you feeling today Prongs?" She asked and pretended to be cheerful. James moaned.

"It hurts." He looked up at her with his blue eyes. "I didn't embarrass myself last night did I? Did I do something stupid?"

"Aside from dancing naked down towards the slytherin dungeons, claiming eternal love for Professor Slughorn, making out with Jonas Snit (the only out-of-closet gay in all of the school) and finally telling McGonagall how much you'd like to get in her pants while she guided you back to your dorm?" Mai asked innocently and then smiled. "No, nothing stupid."

James gaped at Mai as if she'd just grown horns, and Remus spluttered while trying to stay serious.

"You _are_ kidding right?" James asked concerned.

"Oh… you don't remember? Well…" She smiled apologetically, and James gasped in horror. Mai hadn't thought it would be possible to laugh so soon after yesterdays shock and disappointment, but there she was, laughing so hard her eyes watered with good tears and her stomach cramped. Remus was patting James back as he laughed and James who at all other occasions was one of the sharpest knives in the drawer, looked confused.

"So, you are kidding?" He asked when the laughter finally died down. Mai nodded.

"Of course. We would be pretty bad friends if we let you do that, wouldn't we?" She asked and grinned. Remus nodded. Her mood was lighter, up until Sirius came wagging between the tables, looking like he'd had a long night. Mais' fury bloomed again, and she couldn't even make herself meet his grey eyes. He sat down beside James and grabbed a few slices of bread.

"Late night, Padfoot?" James asked his friend and grinned. Sirius looked up from his plate and met Mais green eyes briefly, before she looked away. He had seen the anger dwelling bellow her façade, but didn't understand what she was angry about, or why, so he didn't comment.

"Yeah, sure." He answered James' question unenthusiastically.

"Oh now, what happened?" Peter asked. Sirius sent the shorter and plumper boy a glare.

"Nothing! Nothing fucking happened yesterday." He snarled. Sirius, no matter his bad boy behavior, very rarely swore, so it came as a surprise on most of them. Mai snorted and rose.

"I have something to do before we leave. I'll meet you at the station." She murmured before walking away, so she didn't have to concentrate on not looking at or listening to Sirius.


	17. The hidden meaning

16. The hidden meaning.

At the train though, she sat with Lily, Mary and Alice, instead of in the booth with the marauders. Lily asked what was wrong, but Mai just avoided the question with a question in return. Lily understood and didn't persuade her further about it.

That summer was the worst two months in a very long time. It was painful not having talked to Sirius at all. He had sent her a couple of letters though, but she had refused to answer them. She got the results of her O.' as well, but not even seven Exceeded Expectations and three Outstanding characters cheered her up. At the moment, school didn't seem so important.

As always Augustine was hardly at home with the exceptions of a few Saturdays. She remembered her last summer when James and Sirius had stayed with her all summer, how happy she had been then. Now she was just lonely. Lonely and heartbroken.

Her sixteenth birthday was silent, with a small cookie she had baked for herself, the two owls; Gemini and Pavo, and the old fat cat Atlas. And it was at times like these she remembered all the happy days in her old family. Marcellus probably celebrated his birthday with the entire family, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews and grandparents. She felt a sting of jealousy when she thought about it, and threw the burnt cookie in the garbage eater. She heard the garbage eater munch and growl while eating her birthday cookie. A girl wasn't supposed to cry on her birthday, but when she's lonely, heartbroken, and feels like no one remembers her, she's allowed to.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. And she dried her tears hastily while opening it. Outside was probably the most amazing vision she had ever encountered. James, Peter, Remus and Sirius stood there grinning like idiots holding out one large package for her. Her red puffy eyes widened and filled with tears again, as she hugged them all in pure joy. Her anger at Sirius was forgotten; he got the same happy hug as everyone else.

She invited them in, grinning just as broadly as all of them.

"See, I told you this was a good idea." James said to Sirius who nodded.

"Here, unwrap it." Peter said eagerly. Mai took the package and ripped the paper off. Inside the colorful paper laid a brand new broom. Mai shuddered involuntarily.

"You don't like it?" James asked. Mai looked up.

"No, no it's wonderful. It's just…"

"We noticed you don't have a broom, so we bought one for you." All four of them were grinning widely. Mai smiled uncomfortably.

"I can't fly." She said. Sirius and James, who were geniuses in the air as well, gaped at her.

"Seriously?" Sirius asked shocked.

"You didn't know?" She asked confused, but when she thought about it, she had never actually told them directly. James' eyes lit up.

"We'll teach you. Sirius and I." He said and rose, grabbing the broom and marching outside, where four other brooms were parked against the wall. Mai realized they had flown to Deutschland from England. When they all stood outside, James gave the broom to Mai, who held it unsurely. Sirius came up by her side and took her hand and moved it forwards to rest almost at the front, and the other on the shaft by her hip. He smiled encouragingly down at her.

"This isn't a problem for you Lynx." He said surely. It irritated Mai how her heart started beating faster when he touched her hand. Nonetheless she nodded.

"Okay, so now, you have to breathe deeply, and tell yourself you can do this." James ordered. Remus and Peter were watching in wonder as Mai closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, telling herself she could do it.

"Out loud, and mean it." Sirius said from beside her. It felt like his voice vibrated against her skin, sending shivers up her spine. She wanted to shake herself for feeling like this.

"I… can do this." She said and opened her eyes determined.

"Good, no sit on the broom. Don't worry, it'll float." James instructed. Mai did as told, and impressively enough, it floated just above ground.

"Now you can try to fly forwards, the broom will do whatever you wish of it." Sirius said. Mai willed the broom forwards, and, though a little shakily, the broom flew forwards.

"And now go up." James said. Mai rose higher up to about three meters above ground. When she suddenly lost control of the broom and it started speeding forwards. Mai panicked and lost further control of the broom.

"Mai." Remus called. "Breathe."

Mai tried to take deep breaths, even though the broom was speeding like a rocket over the fields. Slowly, but surely, she managed to make the broom stop, but she'd had enough for one day, so she landed and walked back to the house.

"It's only your first try. You'll get it tomorrow." James said and patted her back friendly. Mai smiled, but wasn't completely convinced of that, but she felt bad for not being thoroughly happy about their gift. The fact that they had remembered her birthday had been a greater surprise. She would try flying though, if not for herself, then for the marauders.

Mai dished up dinner for the lot of them, and the day turned out better than she could ever have imagined. Even Peter was trying his best to make the day the best it could be, instead of just following James' lead. They ate and chatted, and laughed until the sun went down. When it got completely dark, they walked outside and lit a bonfire and grilled marshmallows (some sort of muggle candy) and danced around the fire after drinking a few shots of her aunts old firewhisky. When the fire died down, and they all started yawning, they went inside to make the beds. They brought all the mattresses in the house down in the living room and slept there.

"Lynx, are you awake?" Remus suddenly whispered. He was the one lying closest to her on a mattress that was way too short for him.

"Yeah." Loud snoring sounds came from the other side of the room where Sirius and James had fallen asleep in the middle of a conversation, arguing whether Australia or Germany would win the quidditch world cup that year. Sirius had always been a diehard Australia fan, while James had switched between the two best teams; Germany and Argentina.

"I have something for you." Remus whispered and reached his hand out with something shiny in it. Mai reached out her palm and felt a light, cold chain fall into her palm. She held it up in the dim light from the candle and gasped.

"Remus…" She whispered, choked up.

"I wanted you to have it. My mother told me to give it to someone special, as my father had given it to her when she was our age. I don't know, but you were the only girl I found special to me, and it's your birthday so…" He broke off awkwardly and scratched his neck. Mai stared at the contours of his face from the golden light from the candle. His eyes were black as he smiled. The necklace was silver with a small pendant shaped like a teardrop and with the color of the ocean. It was stunning in its simplicity, but the thought behind it just made it even more so.

"Thank you. I don't know what to say." Mai said honestly. She could sense him smiling as he touched her hand friendly. His hands had always been slightly warmer than others, and the safety of his larger hand on hers was comforting, and felt… nice.

"Then don't say anything." He murmured. Mai nodded. He had always understood her. Perhaps… no, she shook her head mentally and forced that thought away.

"Can you help me hook it on?" She asked him and held out the small necklace. He nodded sitting upright on the mattress, and she turned her back to him. He brushed her long brown hair aside so he wouldn't yank her hair while he tried to fasten the clasp in the dim light. His fingers accidentally touched her thin skin on her neck, and she shuddered slightly. He didn't seem to notice though, because suddenly he gave a triumphant sound as the necklace hung securely around her neck.

"Thank you." She smiled and turned around again. Her long hair hung loosely over her shoulder and she'd dressed in one of her white night gowns with bare shoulders. Remus stared at her.

"We should go to sleep." He murmured and lay back down. Mai nodded.

"Yeah, good night Moony."

"Good night Lynx."

The next few days were all about getting Mai up in the air, literally. But by the end of the week, even Sirius and James had to admit that she was a lost cause. So instead they indulged in a one on one quidditch match, while Mai, Remus and Peter brought a board of wizard chess outside, underneath one of the few trees around Augustines' house. Mai challenged Peter to a duel, and the winner would meet the all time champion; Remus Lupin.

After about a quarter, Mai had taken control of the board, and before she could crush Peters' king, he folded. She grinned triumphantly, and repaired the pieces, before Remus sat down opposite of her with a devious look in his eyes.

"Should I be afraid when you're looking at me like that?" She asked mockingly. He gave her a crocked grin, and Mai couldn't help but notice how handsome it made him look. She had never noticed it until now, but Remus was in all truth very handsome.

"Sure you should, I'm a devil in chess." He said in a dangerously low voice. Mai blushed, suddenly imagining him being a devil on other… activities as well. She almost slapped herself for thinking something like that, and glanced over Sirius. It almost felt like a betrayal towards Sirius, even though the two of them never had anything resembling a relationship.

"Okay, you can start." Mai offered and smiled at him, her fingers caressing the small pendant around her neck. Remus' eyes followed the movement, and a slight smile painted his face, before total concentration replaced it. They played for what seemed like a short time, but suddenly Peter started moaning about being hungry and bored. Mai and Remus decided they were even and everyone went inside to get some food.

The marauders stayed with Mai up until two weeks before the end of summer, and they decided to meet at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley a few days before they had to catch the Hogwarts express.

That gave Mai a few days to sort out her own, extremely confusing feelings about two of her best friends. She even got so frustrated on afternoon that she asked the large grey owl, Gemini for help. He just hooted miserably and didn't really give an understandable answer. When she arrived at Diagon Alley a week later, she was still confused, perhaps even more confused than before. A girl really shouldn't think too much.

When Remus and Sirius were the only two greeting her, she felt a terrible unease in her stomach, but smiled pleasantly and followed them inside the leaky cauldron. Why was she acting like a silly fangirl all of a sudden? They had been her friends for six years already, and she had never felt like this until now.

"Lynx, is something wrong?" Sirius asked. She shook her head.

"Did you say something?" She asked.

"I have great news." He said, and his face lit up like a light bulb in a pitch dark room.

"What have you done?" Mai asked.

"I have moved out. I'm living with James now." He exclaimed proudly and grinned. Mai was shocked.

"Really? That's great Padfoot. And this is alright with Mr. and Mrs. Potter?" She asked concerned. Sirius had a way of not thinking everything through sometimes.

"Of course, Padfoot is like their second son already." James said as he came towards them, butter beers in hand.

"This calls for a celebration." He said and handed a jug of beer to everyone.

"To Padfoots' liberation of that crazy hag." James said and lifted his beer in the air.

"To freedom." Sirius said.

"To freedom." Mai, Peter and Remus voiced in and they all took a huge swig of the jug. Afterwards they found an empty booth and discussed all the things they could do once they were back at Hogwarts. Mai for instance was looking forwards to changing into her lynx form again, and to be surrounded by more people. Remus looked forwards to the next full moon, so he could run with his friends again. Sirius and James were looking forwards to being almost oldest, and having even more fan girls. Peter looked forwards to be with his friends all the time, as his summer had been lonely before he had come to visit Mai.


	18. The year that flew away

17: The year that flew away.

The sixth year went by in a flash though, and Mai had made sure to keep away from both Sirius and Remus. She couldn't explain the pain she felt every time she saw Sirius make out with a new girl, but she held still about her suffering. Remus on the other hand seemed completely uninterested in any girl, or he was very good at hiding his emotions. She also noticed that Sirius and James had stopped hexing people in the hallways, as they had done before. The only person they bugged now was Severus Snape. He had it coming for him though, as he sent just as terrible hexes in return. Once James had come back from a potions class with elephant ears and a trunk, while Sirius had come in right after with a neck as long as a giraffes, and Mai couldn't help herself, she had doubled over laughing. A war had always been going on between Sirius and James against Severus, but now the hexes started to get violent, and Mai did her outmost to stop it. It didn't help though, as soon as she brought it up, James and Sirius almost exploded at her, accusing her of taking Snapes' side. That had hurt her deeply, and she had stayed with the girls for a few days until they managed to calm down. There was especially one episode that could easily have been avoided, a little prank Sirius pulled on Severus, which turned out to be potentially deadly for both Severus and James in the end.

"There's something seriously off with that Lupin guy." Mai could hear Severus Snape tell her twin brother when she came around the corner. She stopped in mid-step and pressed her back against the wall behind a column. She could see a small group of Slytherins standing just around the corner.

"So what?" Marcellus snapped. Mai could feel her anger at him rise in her.

"Well, we could find out what and use it against that Potter and Black, perhaps even your sister." Severus proposed.

"Don't call the blood traitor my sister you idiot." Marcellus growled. She could see Severus getting annoyed.

"So what about it then Cellus?" Severus pressed on. Marcellus rolled his eyes.

"I don't care if that Gryffindor turns into a troll at night or whatever, that's your grudge. Handle it." Marcellus said tiredly and turned his back on "Snivelly". Severus glared at the retracting Slytherins, and was left alone in the hallway.

From then on, Severus wasn't only pain in the ass, but also a danger to Remus and his secret. If it was known that Remus turned into a werewolf every full moon, parents would react and Dumbledore would be forced to expel Remus from the school. Mai told Sirius about her worries, and considering his completely lack of respect for school laws and for Severus in person, Mai was certain it was not a good idea telling him about what she'd heard. And she soon got confirmed that Sirius, with the lack of ability to think consequences, had been the wrong choice to turn to.

It was when Sirius and Mai were going to potions together, and the others had gone on before them, that the tragedy in all truth happened, even though it was Severus' own choice that took him where he ended up.

Severus Snape was walking alone, and there was no one else in sight. Without second thought, Sirius grabbed Severus' arm and pushed him into the wall with his wand pointed at his crocked nose.

"Do you really want to know where Remus goes every full moon, Snivelly?" Sirius asked and grinned. Mai stared wide eyed at her friend, wanting to stop it, but knew that nothing she said would stop Sirius. Severus didn't answer, he just snarled grotesquely at Sirius.

"You know the whomping willow? That's where hhe goes, why don't you go and check it out tonight. It's a full moon." Sirius snarled. Severus eyes widened and Mai understood that he would definitely do just that.

"Sirius!" Mai hissed and grabbed his arm, dragging him along.

"Are you completely stupid?" She asked angrily. Sirius looked dumbfound at her.

"What? He won't do it Mai, he's a coward." Sirius said surely. Mai shook her head, deciding that it was best to tell James about it. He would know what to do.

"That's a terrible idea." James said when Mai told him about what Sirius had done.

"If he's not killed by that insane tree, he'll be killed by Remus, I don't know which would be worse." James said and scratched his neck thoughtfully. Mai scowled at him.

"You have to stop him." She said.

"Who? Sirius?"

"No you goofbag, Severus, so he won't get hurt." Mai snapped.

"Oh, well, no…" He shrugged and turned back to his homework. They were in the library, and he had positioned himself quite strategically so he could get a clear vision of Lily. Mai rolled her eyes.

"No? You know Lily will possibly never forgive you if you let that happen." Mai whispered in his ear. He shot her an irritated look.

"No shit Sherlock, but she will never find out that I knew about it." He replied, Mai raised an eyebrow at him, and the possibility of her slipping the truth to her best friend dawned on him.

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I? I'm not Sirius, James; I won't cover up for things like these, where people could die." Mai said, clearly showing what she thought of their bullying of Severus. James sighed.

"Well, then you just do what you have to do. I stand by my principles, and that does not involve saving Snivelly." He said and this time their conversation was final. Mai glanced over at Lily, who was looking at her from across the library. She waved at Lily before leaving the library, not really knowing what to do about the whole situation. The first thing that hit her was that she could change into a lynx and scare Severus away, but then she would be in danger of getting killed by him, knowing he was very fond of the dark arts.

It couldn't be helped though, so when the evening came, she snuck out into the Forbidden forest, and transfigured into the lynx with the braided pattern down its back. She stood just inside the tree line as she saw Severus rushing out from the castle and down towards where the Whomping Willow stood. She started running towards him, but stopped as she noticed James coming running after him.

Severus was already right in front of the huge tree, looking like he doubted his own courage, before he stepped inside the reach of the trees branches. The tree, as it never did, didn't hesitate in striking the young man with the greasy hair and hooked nose. It caught Severus off guard and struck him hard in the stomach. James rushed up to the tree and dodged the branches that quite murderously tried to kill both students. Mai couldn't watch, she ran towards them, but by the time she reached them, James had already gotten a unconscious Severus away from the branches.

He looked up as Mai came up to him on silent paws. He nodded and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I couldn't let him go on and die, now could I? Who would be my personal nemesis afterwards?" James asked and grinned. Mai purred, before looking around, making sure no one was around, as she transfigured back into her human shape.

"That was a good thing you did James." She said and smiled at him as she helped him carry Severus up to the castle.

"Put in a good word with Lily for me, will you?" He asked, making Mai chuckle.

"Sure thing Prongs."

Another thing that changed during the sixth year, was Peter. He drifted further and further away from his friends. When Mai had asked him about it, he had just pretended to not understand what she was talking about. Peters' behavior worried her, but she seemed to be the only one noticing it. One time she had even seen him sneaking around with her own personal enemy, her own brother; Marcellus. After that day, she stopped trusting Peter. There was no excuse to be hanging with the enemy. When she told Remus about what she had seen, he just laughed and said that couldn't have been Peter.


	19. blossoms in autumn

18: Blossoms in autumn.

It was rather the seventh and last year at Hogwarts that was memorable for several things. And it started already at the Hogwarts express. Over the summer, Lily had visited Mai in Germany, and had given her a "make over". Lily said that Mais' trademark braid had to go, as it made her seem "tied up". So Lily stole all her hairbands, and highlighted Mais long dark hair, and cut it into different lengths. At first it felt uncomfortable to have her hair loose, but she soon got accustomed to it. Lily also introduced Mai to simple make-up, which did not look overdone, but natural. The idea was to make her best features "pop". Mai was confused, because she had always thought Lily didn't use make-up, because it didn't show. Lily was possible the most beautiful girl Mai had ever known, so with or without make-up, she would have outshined everyone.

Mai was nervous when she arrived at the platform together with Lily, the Head Girl of Gryffindor. She felt like everyone was looking strangely at her. Lily laughed when Mai mentioned it.

"They _are_ looking at you sweetie. You're stunning." She said, making Mai blush. Mai spotted three of the marauders a little further up the platform, looking away from her. Sirius and James were whistling at a couple of sixth grade Raven claw girls, while Remus was studying something in his hands.

"I'll see you later." Mai said to Lily who nodded.

"I'll have to go find the Head Boy anyway." She replied. Mai walked quickly towards her friends, pushing the trolley of luggage in front of her.

"Hello boys." She said cheerfully. Sirius, James and Remus turned to look at her. They seemed confused, and Mai suddenly recognized the look Sirius was giving her, before he suddenly realized who she was. He was giving her the pervert look, the one he gave girls right before he whistled or came with a sleazy remark.

"Lynx?" James asked. Mai smiled and tilted her head to the side.

"Great to hear you haven't forgotten completely about me." She said sarcastically.

"No no, it's just, you look different." James said and started rowing for the shore.

"Sure." She muttered and turned to Remus, ignoring Sirius, as he had just spotted his girlfriend before the summer vacation and had walked away.

"What have you got there?" She asked and looked at his hands. The thing he'd been studying gleamed under the lights in the roof.

"It's my Head Boy sign." James said proudly and shot out his chest. Remus nodded and gave it to James who made a scene out of fastening it to his shirt.

"But, you weren't even a prefect." Mai said. James grinned.

"Sure weren't. It seems as if Dumbledore finally saw my hidden talents."

"Why weren't you elected, Remus?" Mai asked and turned to meet his dark eyes. He sighed, and she could see how distinct his white scars looked against his suntanned skin.

"I was, but I turned it down." He murmured. James gawked.

"Why didn't you tell me? You deserve this more than I do." He almost shouted. Remus winced by James' sharp voice.

"Oh yeah, because I'll need it on my work application right? I'll write it right next to, "I suffer from lycantrophy."" Remus hissed back, making sure no one heard him. James looked abashed for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry…" James said and grabbed his friends' shoulder. Remus shook his head.

"No, you need that more than I do, and that's the truth. If you wish to be an auror, being the Head Boy is a great thing to have with you." Remus smiled sadly, and Mai could feel her heart crack a little on behalf of the werewolf.

"Don't tell me _you're_ the Head Boy?" Lilys' voice suddenly interrupted. James' eyes lit up by the sound of her, and a glittering smile replaced his worried look.

"Sure am, seems like we'll be spending a lot of time together this year, Lily." He said courtly. Mai was impressed, he hadn't managed to insult her, and he had actually used her first name instead of the impersonal surname. Mai could see the confusion on Lilys' face as well.

"Seems like it. Have you been informed of all your duties?" She asked strictly.

"I read the sheets that followed the sign." He answered. Lily seemed even more impressed.

"Well then, alright. Then you're aware of our patrol on the train?" She asked.

"It'll be a true pleasure." James answered, and Lily actually blushed a little.

"Um, I'll be seeing you then." She murmured and her green eyes connected with Mais' equally green ones for a short second, before she walked away. Lily had given her the look that said she had to talk. Mai smiled pleased.

"You're making an impact. Who are you and what have you done to Prongs?" Mai asked. James laughed.

"My dad taught me a little about girls this summer, and I realize I have attacked the situation quite… absurdly in the past." James answered. Remus laughed.

"You can cut the act now though, the girl's not here." He said.

"So, where is Peter?" Mai asked.

"Dunno, haven't seen him yet." Sirius, who had come back to the small group with his arm around a blonde Ravenclaw girl, said. As so many times before, a large ball with studs landed in Mais' stomach and started bouncing around.

"Right." She bit, and earned a strange look from Remus.

"Everyone, this is Blanche. She's from France, and wanted to meet all of you." Sirius said and Blanche smiled brightly. Her teeth were pure white and even, and her eyes were a pale blue, her shoulder length hair was as white as the snow. Mai could understand the name, as Blanche meant white in French. What surprised her though was that Blanche, opposite to her ancestors, seemed normal. She took every hand and gained everyones' name. She even greeted Mai. Blanche seemed like a great girl actually. Mai should have been happy for Sirius that he had finally managed to find someone that did not act like a total bitch, but all she felt was emptiness at the sight of the two of them holding hands and smiling brightly. Perhaps he noticed Mais' sad face, or he understood the situation, like he always did, no matter the reason, Mai would be eternally grateful for Remus' quick thinking.

"Mai, could you come with me? I have to find Finnigan to get my night glasses back." Remus said. Mai nodded and left eagerly. Remus' night glasses was one of his most beloved possessions, even though they were normal square glasses, only charmed so the wizard or witch using them could see in the dark. Why those glasses were so dear to Remus, Mai couldn't really understand. They were old and battered, but he claimed they would definitely come in handy one day.

"Are you in love with Sirius?" Remus asked immediately after they were out of hearing range. Mais' heart sped up.

"No, I… no." Mai snapped. Remus looked heavily at her with his dark gaze.

"I don't know." She moaned and threw her hands up. Remus smiled and took her hand, and dragged her after him. They came to a corner with no one inside the hearing range.

"How long have you felt 'I don't know', for Sirius?" He asked intensely. Mai thought about it, but couldn't really remember when it actually had started to become more than… normal friendship feelings.

"About two years… or more?"

"I see, and… how long have you been feeling 'I don't know' for me?" He asked. His question caught her completely of guard. It was something she had never expected from Remus, and much less in a public place like this. She hadn't even thought he had noticed.

"I don't… I mean, I…" Her throat seemed to tie shut as her tongue dried up. Remus smiled and touched her cheek.

"I never thought you were an option, until last summer." Mai said breathlessly, feeling like she was standing naked in the middle of a busy Diagon Alley, singing Christmas carols.

"Not an option? How do you mean?" He asked confused. Mai drew a deep breath, her chest was weighed down by all the impressions crashing down on her at the same time. It was hard, explaining her feelings so openly, especially to the one the feelings were about.

"You always seem so uninterested in girls. Even when Lily tried to get your attention you seemed completely ignorant. If Lily didn't have a chance with you, how could I?" Mais' large green eyes were begging to be understood. Remus smiled and stroked her cheek encouragingly.

"I seem uninterested in other girls, because I'm interested in you." He said. Mai gasped and had to lean against the wall so she wouldn't collapse.

"How long?" She asked breathlessly.

"I don't know, about two or three years ago. But you're interested in Sirius as well?" Remus asked and smiled his occasionally crocked grin.

"I'm not sure how I feel, it's complicated, I guess." Mai answered. Remus nodded.

"Would you give me a chance though?" He asked.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm asking if you'd like to be my girlfriend, at least try to be." Remus laughed a little. Mai was impressed at his ability to be so carefree considering he was asking her to be his girlfriend, even though he knew she had some kind of feelings for Sirius as well.

"I would definitively try." She smiled. He grinned and reached out his hand, and she entwined her fingers with his. It was a little strange at first, and several of their friends from the seventh grade looked strangely at them, especially the Gryffindors. By the time they reached the rest of the marauders, Mai was beaming.

James saw the entwined fingers before Sirius, and Peter who now had joined his friends. He gaped openly at them.

"By Merlins long beard, when did this happen?!" He shouted, so that everyone around turned to see what was up. Mai blushed deeply, and Remus squeezed her fingers lightly to tell her it was alright. Mai met Sirius eyes. She couldn't completely decipher the look in them, but there was definitely something.

"Wow, Remus, never thought you actually had the guts to ask her out." Sirius said, apparently happy for his friend. Mai looked confused up at Remus who now blushed slightly.

"I'll tell you later." He muttered.

"Aw, look at the cute couple. I told you they would look perfect together. Beauty and the beast." James said and nudged Sirius' shoulder. Remus wasn't beast looking, but of course James was referring to his other form. Sirius barked out a short laugh.

"Yeah, you were right." He said and stared at Remus and Mai, before he removed his gaze and tried to concentrate on Blanche.


	20. The safety in your arms

19: The safety in your arms.

The first days in school, with a boyfriend, was slightly awkward. Mai was not sure what being a girlfriend meant, and neither did Remus. They had not kissed… yet. After another few days, they realized that it wasn't awkward at all. All they had to do was act normal, like they always had done, and just take it step by step. They were both extremely attracted to each other, and now it didn't seem strange if Mai suddenly got the urge to touch Remus' warm skin, or trace his white scars with her index finger. And it wasn't strange if he suddenly wanted to dig his fingers into her thick, soft hair or hold her hand during their homework sessions. There were so many small things Mai had wanted to do before, that she could do now, but that first kiss was frightening. She wanted to, oh how she wanted to. Remus told her it was okay, that they could wait until it was perfect. There was no rush.

Sirius and Blanche on the other hand, kissed at every chance they got, especially publicly. Sirius always seemed to enjoy showing off his Don Juan moves in public, and girls swooned when they saw his movie star kisses.

It wasn't until a special occasion, that the perfect setting came. It was almost a full moon, but a few days until Remus started getting ill. The weather was chilly already, and Sirius and James had played their first quidditch match against the hufflepuff team. They were at the common room, celebrating their victory. Sirius and Blanche had early disappeared up to his dorm, and Mais' eyes had followed them, but she didn't feel the same jealousy as before. It hurt a little, knowing what they would be doing, but Remus' warm hand dimmed the pain and filled her with joy.

"Come, I want to show you something." He said and dragged her to her feet. They climbed out of the portrait hole, and walked up to the owlery. Remus leant on the edge of the window, looking out over the Hogwarts grounds and smiled.

"It'll be strange after this year, not coming back here." He said absentmindedly. Mai stood beside him. The moon hung like a silver ball on the dark sky, and stars glittered like diamonds.

"Yeah, it will."

"Do you think, I could be allowed to come back?" He asked. Mai looked confused up at him.

"As a teacher." He explained. Mai smiled.

"Sure, you would be great teacher." She said and leaned on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and moved her in front of him so she could lean back on his chest. She looked up at his dark eyes.

"What subject would you teach?" She asked.

"Defense against the dark arts. Most definitely." He said. Mai nodded.

"That would be great."

"I'm so glad you chose me." He said suddenly. Mai turned around to face him, and smiled.

"If I'd known sooner I'd chosen you years ago." She murmured and laid her arms around his neck. He stared down at her, his dark eyes almost black in the low light. She loved it when his eyes were black. They looked like dark pits of despair, but sometimes, the light caught in them, and you could see hope.

"You never found me disgusting because of my lycantrophy, did you?" He asked. His stare was intense, and Mai knew she had to weigh her words carefully. He wanted a honest answer, and she would give it to him. She smiled, and pulled him down, craned her neck, and met his soft, warm lips. She could feel his shock at first, through his immobility, but soon he understood her answer to his question. His strong arms lifted her up, so she could sit on the windowsill, and was more leveled with him. She clung to him as if her life depended on it, and his arms were around her like a safety net. Behind her was a fall of forty meters, but he would never let her fall. She was as safe as she could ever be. She wrapped her legs around his waist. The kiss could have lasted for a year, or only a brief second, it was hard to tell.

Remus broke the kiss first and stared hungrily at her, and pecked her lips two or three times more. She smiled into the last kiss.

"I hope that answered your question?" She asked and licked her upper lip, tasting him. He followed the movement before looking up into her green eyes again.

"It was… a great formulated answer." He grinned and Mai laughed. He helped her down from the sill and he wrapped her into a tight embrace, before letting her go again.

"You really must be the greatest girl that ever lived." He said. Mai laughed.

"And you the greatest boy." She grinned and pulled him down by his scarf and planted one long kiss on his lips.

"Come on, let's go inside before we freeze our buttocks off."

When they got back, Sirius, James and Peter were still up. They sat around the fireplace and looked up when Mai and Remus climbed in.

"Padfoot got dumped." James said. Mais' eyes widened.

"Why?" She couldn't help the red roses in her cheeks or the goofy smile on her lips, but she had dignity enough to look shocked, even though the shock wasn't really that big. Blanche had wanted to change Sirius from his badboy ways, into a preppy Ravenclaw. And even though Blanche had been a terribly nice girl, she just wasn't right for Sirius.

"She couldn't handle the danger." Sirius said and grinned. Mai laughed.

"She sure couldn't."

"Sooo, what have the two of you been up to?" Peter asked, and wiggled his eyebrows up and down. Remus grimaced, knowing all too well what Peter was hinting at. And even though it wouldn't have been a problem for either of them, Mai just didn't feel ready for the big thing just yet. She had just gotten her first kiss.

"We were just looking at the moon." Remus said dismissively.

"Riight." Sirius said and rolled his eyes dramatically. James chuckled and hit his best friend in the shoulder. Mai sighed and walked over to sit on the couch beside James and Remus sat down beside her. She search around for his hand, and entwined her fingers with his. It was alright, just holding hands. They didn't need to be more, at the moment. She smiled and glanced at him and saw that he was thinking the exact same thing.


	21. Under other circumstances you'd be dead

20: Under other circumstances you'd be dead.

It wasn't until right before Christmas, James actually had a breakthrough with Lily Evans. Mai knew that Lily was starting to like James more and more, and she was impressed at how much he had changed. She said he actually was a great guy, something Mai had been telling her for several years already.

James had refrained from asking Lily out and had been building a relationship to her, so when he asked her, she would know him well enough to actually consider it. And as it was in November 1977, James and Lily were having one of their controls, walking the hallways to makes sure everyone were following school rules. When they walked into an empty corridor, James stopped and turned to look at Lily. He smiled his charming smile, and actually managed to keep his hands out of his already ruffled hair.

"You know I've liked you for so many years already right?" James asked her and leant against the wall. Lily actually blushed slightly.

"I noticed." She said and smiled. James chuckled.

"I guess I was quite obvious, huh? Well, I've been a jerk and a bully before, but I really hoped you could give me another chance." He paused and stared into her incredibly beautiful eyes. "Will you go out with me, Lily Evans?"

Lily seemed to weigh his positive and negative sides, and came to a conclusion as she smiled.

"Sure." James was just about to jump and cheer, but Lily held up one finger. "On one condition; no more bullying Severus."

James sighed.

"Alright, what if he does something to me though?" He asked. Lily gave him a strict look, and that was answer enough. James nodded, before they continued their patrol, both a little rosy.

Mai soon learned that Lily had been hoping James would ask her out, and that she was incredibly eager to know what James had planned for their date. Mai promised Lily that knowing James, it probably would be something spectacular. Lily almost squealed in a most girlish manner, and Mai giggled with her.

James did not disappoint, and when Lily came back from their date, she was floating on clouds a foot above ground. After that one date, Lily was Potter-ized, and soon after they started dating on a regular basis.

It was just before Christmas vacation, in the middle of December, and time for the seventh graders Yule Duel. It was a sort of tradition that every house chose two competitors from the seventh grade (one girl and one boy), and a tournament was held in the great hall. Being the winner of the Yule Duel was a great honor and accomplishment, which looked good on the work application. The Head Boy and Girl were not allowed to compete, because they, together with the Head of the house were supposed to choose the two competitors. Being one of the best in class, Mai knew she had a good chance at getting chosen. Sirius was also one of the few that could be elected as he had proven early on to be a good duelist. Remus would rather not, and he said that to James directly. Mai knew it was because he believed he wouldn't need it, because he wouldn't write a lot of work applications anyway.

It was terrible, knowing that he really wanted to duel, because he was good, but refused himself to participate. Mai tried several times to talk him out of refusing to participate, but he was stubborn and would not budge. Alice was also an option, she had gotten great grades in charms the last year, after she had gotten together with Frank Longbottom who was aiming to be an auror. Alice had also figured she wanted to be an auror, and she had changed her behavior considerably after she started dating Frank. Mary was another matter though, she wasn't really gifted in anything besides astronomy and divination, but on the other side she was possibly a seer, and had already been headhunted by a school in France that needed a new divination teacher.

When James, Lily and Professor McGonagall finally climbed in through the portrait hole with a small sheet in the professors hands, the seventh graders gathered anxiously in the common room.

"The duelists we have chosen, are chosen based on character, ability for quick thinking, knowledge in Defense against the dark arts, charms and transfiguration. The head boy and girl have only given options, and I have been the one reaching the final decision." McGonagall said formally.

"The male duelist for the Yule Duel is; Frank Longbottom." She called. Franks' face grinned broadly and he walked over to stand behind the professor.

"The female duelist for the Yule Duel is; Mai Santiago." Mai thought she would faint, as McGonagalls gaze landed on her. Her knees felt shaky as she walked across the floor to stand beside Frank. He congratulated her soundlessly and she returned the gesture.

"I'd like to have a word with the duelists. You may come with me." McGonagall announced and walked out of the portrait hole again and Frank and Mai followed her down the corridors and down to her office. McGonagall seemed just as eager as the students did, and Mai had never seen the older woman as youthful as she did then. Even though she wasn't more than fifty years old, she already looked slightly drawn and wrinkly.

"You both know what a great honor it is to be elected to be the duelists that will represent your house. This has been a tradition ever since this school was founded, so I'm hoping you won't let the house, or me down." McGonagall said. Mai and Frank nodded.

"The rules are quite simple. No unforgivable curse is allowed. Otherwise you're allowed to be creative with everything you've been taught up until now. You'll be given points for creativity and skill, and of course how well you can shield yourself against attacks." McGonagall said and stared strictly at them.

"The tournament will be parted in two. There are in all eight competitors, and there will be one from each house in both parts. In the hall there will be two stages, and the two parts of the competition will take place at the same time. In both groups of four there will be two boys and two girls, we're only looking for the winner and the second place, so you will not be numbered if you don't make it to the final. The final will take place at twelve o'clock at night, after the pre-duels." Mai could feel the pressure building up now. She glanced at Frank who seemed perfectly calm.

"I'd advise you to check up on your spells and notes, so you'll remember the incantations when the pressure is on you. That's what divides a good duelist from a bad one, to keep calm and see solutions, not limitations." McGonagalls gaze landed on Mai.

"The duel starts tomorrow at ten, so you have little time to prepare, but that's also a part of the game. Be precise both of you." McGonagall said and dismissed them, but just as she was about to leave McGonagall cleared her throat and said: "Mai, let me have a word with you."

Remus gave her the best hug she had ever experienced when she got back to the common room, and at first she didn't understand, but then she realized.

"You've heard who the other duelists are?" She asked and broke free from the hug (grudgingly). James nodded and came over.

"You won't like this, but Marcellus has been chosen." He said. Mai nodded.

"You knew this?" Remus asked confused.

"Yeah, McGonagall told me, she was worried there would be a bloody duel if the two of us were to meet. Dumbledore is also aware of the possibility, but I told her that any duel between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin will be aggressive." Mai said. Sirius had also come over now, looking worried.

"Marcellus is strong though." He said. Mai shot him a glare.

"Are you saying I won't manage him?" She snapped. He looked abashed.

"that wasn't…"

"That's exactly what you meant. I'm not that scared little girl anymore, I can handle this. I will handle this, wasn't that the reason why I was chosen anyway?" Mai asked and looked at James.

"Sure, but I didn't know you'd be facing a potential death eater. Rumor says Voldemort already has chosen Marcellus. You're a blood traitor Mai, he'll be out to get you, break the rules if he must." James said. Mai nodded.

"Yes, obviously, but I can't hide from him anymore. I want to settle this with Marcellus now, and not meet him later in life where rules can't stop him from torturing me with the cruciatus curse." Mai reasoned, and it seemed as if they could understand why she had to do it no matter what.

The rest of the day the four marauders helped her remember different transfigurations she could use, considering that was what she did best. They also practiced shield charms and different return shields. And when Remus kissed her good night, she felt ready to kick some serious ass the next day.

Remus and Sirius were the only two that came with her to breakfast that morning, and the tension in the great hall was thick when they arrived. Mai spotted Marcellus who was surrounded by his usual gang, and with Severus Snape at his right hand. Their eyes met briefly, and she knew then that if she met him, she would be in for a difficult time.

She tried to eat something, but the food seemed to grow in her mouth. Frank came together with Alice a short while after and sat beside the three marauders.

"Are you alright?" Frank asked. Mai looked up and smiled.

"Never been better, you?" Frank nodded agreeing.

"As long as one of us wins, I'll be happy." He added. Mai grinned.

"Sure."

They ate in silence, and Mai glanced at a very unusually silent Sirius. He seemed brooding. His thundercloud grey eyes was staring at his full plate, but he hadn't even touched the food. She furrowed her brows, but didn't say anything, thinking he might want to be alone with his thoughts. And she wasn't really in the mood for thinking about anything else than her own problems at the moment.

When there was only ten minutes left until ten o'clock, Remus took her to the side outside of the great hall and grabbed her shoulders, looking her straight in the eye. His hands were so warm she could feel the warmth from him through her shirt and sweater.

"Be careful." He demanded. Mai nodded.

"I mean it. Don't do anything reckless, I have a terrible feeling about this." He said and leaned in, resting his forehead against hers. Mai stared at his dark, almost black eyes.

"Do you believe in me, Remus?" She asked softly.

"Of course I do." He answered immediately, and she knew he meant it. She smiled.

"Then I'll be alright." She claimed. He drew a sharp breath just as she said it. He released her shoulders, only to hold her face firmly between his hands, and pressed his forehead against hers.

"You're so good, Mai." He whispered and kissed the tip of her nose lightly. Mai smiled dazed at him and traced his white scars with her fingers. The strange sensation of where the skin had been ripped and mended was a feeling she loved, a feeling that was very Remus. He was magnificent, in her opinion, and his many scars had only added to the beast-like side of him, which she had seen more and more of as he grew older. He was never mean, but sometimes, she could see a glimpse of raw fury in his eyes whenever he was caught off guard. It didn't frighten her, but sometimes wondered how Remus saw himself. Did he see himself as the kind man she had come to know, and perhaps love, or did he see himself as the bloodthirsty beast he became once every twentyeight days? She had never dared to ask him, because she was afraid the answer would be the latter option.

"All duelists come inside!" Professor Flitwick called, who had gotten the glorious task of collecting all the eager duelists. Mai glanced to the side, and then up at Remus again. He was immensely worried about her.

"Kiss me good luck." She said and tiptoed. He wasn't hard to ask, and their lips locked together. It was her good luck charm; she would keep it with her during the duels. At the moment, Remus' blessing meant everything, it was crucial if she was to win or stand a chance at all. After a few seconds, he released her, smiling.

"Good luck Lynx."

Mai won her first duel quite easily against a Hufflepuff girl she already knew, and disliked. Isolde, with her long blonde hair drawn back into a tight ponytail looked quite determined to give Mai something back for cursing her nose back in the fifth grade. Her cold blue eyes glared daggers at Mai, but that was also the most dangerous about her. Mai quite easily shielded herself from the simple curses Isolde sent at her, and shot a stunning curse at her, and when Isolde failed to shield herself, the duel was over. A wild cheer emitted around the stage.

The next duel was between a Ravenclaw boy Mai was not familiar with, and a Slytherin boy she was way too familiar with. Marcellus was very skilled. And Mai was slightly frightened at the powerful curses he sent flying at the Ravenclaw boy. He was merciless, just like had been all his life. It was a long duel, as the Raven claw was a strong opponent, but soon Marcellus got the upper hand, and when McGonagall called the duel to an end, she pronounced Marcellus the winner, because of all the extra points he had earned.

Marcellus' victory meant that the next duel would be the semi final, and it would be between Mai and Marcellus. McGonagall came over to Mai just before the duel was about to start. She was worried.

"I will call of the duel once it gets too aggressive or dangerous." She said. Mai nodded.

"Use your silence." McGonagall advised, and at first it seemed like a bad riddle, but soon Mai understood she meant literally, and an idea blossomed in her mind.

"Wands at the ready." Flitwick called, and the twins brought out their wands and held it in front of their faces. They stared at each other. Marcellus' pale blue eyes were cold, with no sign of recognition of his twin sister. His black hair was messy, with elegant waves, just like their father. Mai noticed he was wearing their fathers' watch, a watch that had been inherited throughout generations. Marcellus noticed her glance and smirked cruelly.

"It's not too late to withdraw, everyone will understand." Marcellus said. Mai glared at him.

"As if I'd spare you the humiliation of getting beat." She snapped.

"We'll see about that." He growled and an almost fanatic glow appeared in his eyes. She had seen that glow before in her fathers' eyes. It was the light of dark magic. They turned their backs on each other, and marched away towards the ends of the stage. Marcellus turned first, but Mai had already shielded herself. Marcellus sneered, and transfigured five black snakes out of his wand. Mai pointed her wand at the snakes, and without speaking out loud she changed them into fire. Marcellus had to shield himself so he wouldn't get burnt, and Mai grabbed the opportunity to send a disarming charm and thus end the duel. Marcellus was too quick and shielded himself from the attack. He sent a confundus charm in return, aiming to make Mai confused, so he could make his final attack. The confundus hit Mai, and she stared blankly around herself. Marcellus pointed his wand at her, walking towards her, as if he'd already won. He stood right in front of her and grinned.

"This is it." He murmured, right before Mai turned to glare at him, pointing her wand right at his chest.

"You're too cocky for your own good, Marcellus." She whispered as his eyes widened and he held his arms out to the sides. The duel was over. McGonagall came up on the stage and took Mais' hand and raised it into the air to mark the winner of the semi-final. Mai grinned.

After the cheering had died down, and Mai was safe and sound in Remus' arms, she could allow herself to laugh.

"How did you do it? It all went by so quickly at the end, but I could have sworn that confounds charm hit you straight on." James said as he came up to her, hand in hand with Lily. Mai grinned.

"I had shielded myself already before he pronounced the spell." She answered. James still looked confused, but Remus had caught on.

"You used non-verbal magic. Very clever. I noticed you used it to transfigure the snakes into flames as well. I don't think Marcellus even noticed. He was so caught up in himself." Remus said. James finally caught on and laughed out loud.

"No wonder McGonagall picked you." He laughed and Lily agreed.

So Mai was in the final, and so was Frank Longbottom. It was yet another proof of Gryffindors bravery and quick thinking. Mai met up with him just before the final. He seemed pumped and ready to go, as was she. It would be a duel between friends, and they both promised to do their outmost to win. Afterwards he disappeared with Alice.

As she was getting ready, and students started to stream into the great hall again, Mai was starting to get nervous again. The marauders were standing around her and came with many good tips and ideas. She was glad it would be over soon though, it was okay being the center of attention sometimes, but Mai had never enjoyed it too much. Sirius would have liked it better, she assumed and glanced at him. He had seemed so silent lately, and she wanted to know why. It couldn't be just because of not being elected to duel.

She didn't get much time to ponder it though, as the duel was starting, and Mai and Frank paid their respects to one another.

"Good luck." Frank said and smiled genuinely.

"Right back at you." She answered and grinned, holding up her wand in front of her. He did the same. They bowed and turned their backs on each other. As she was walking away, she caught the stare of Remus Lupin, he smiled, and she returned the smile. Beside him was Sirius who noticed where her eyes landed, and he grimaced, before turning and leaving. Mai saw only his long black hair disappearing in the crowd, and her heart skipped a beat. Worry floated in over her.

"Mai, concentrate!" James suddenly called, and Mai instinctively threw up a shield, just as the disarming charm Frank had sent at her reached her. She was just on time, and smacked herself mentally for not paying proper attention.

Several curses flew between the two Gryffindors, and they were quite equally matched in skill. Franks curses were probably slightly stronger than hers, but her occasionally nonverbal magic weighed up for the extra points he received for his strength. It was perhaps when she transfigured a swarm of bees out of thin air nonverbally, while pronouncing a different charm to misguide Frank. He said the counter curse to the charm she sent at him, and afterwards noticed the bees coming at him. Luckily for him he was a quick thinker and transfigured the bees into water which he sent in return towards Mai. Mai sent a wall of flames at him, vaporizing the water. After twenty minutes Dumbledore himself stopped the duel, and asked the two finalists to come stand at his sides. He took their arms, like a judge at a boxing match.

"These two have fought marvelously for longer than any duel usually lasts, and they have shown great skill, strength and quick thinking. One day they might be called warlocks. The decision of a final winner was difficult, and I've been arguing with the other teachers, and we've come to the conclusion of a draw." Dumbledore concluded and raised both hands into the air. Cheering bombarded the walls in the hall, and Mai could barely hear her own thoughts. She had won, Frank had won, it couldn't have been better. When Dumbledore released their hands, Mai and Frank shook hands, grinning and thanking for a great match.


	22. And they lived happily

21: And they lived happily…

That Christmas, Mai went back to Germany by apparition to spend Christmas with her aunt who had been slightly injured in a fight and had to spend a few days at home. So Mai wanted to grab the opportunity to spend some time with her beloved, but strange aunt. It was with a heavy heart she had left Remus, but luckily there was no full moon until they were back at school again, so he could be amongst other people. It was Sirius she was worried about. He had almost not spoken to Mai at all ever since Blanche had broken up with him, and it worried her. She couldn't understand his behavior. He had never had any interest in her, so it couldn't be about her dating Remus. And now he was staying with the Potters as well, so he ought to be happy, but she could clearly see that he wasn't.

So when the Christmas vacation was over, and school started, with the dreaded N.E.' arriving, Mai tried to talk to Sirius when he was alone, but he never was. It seemed as if he tried to be friends with others from the quidditch team, but it seemed awkward and wrong. James spent a lot of time with Lily, and Mai started to understand. One night she talked to Remus about it.

"I think Sirius is upset about getting less time with James." She said. Remus looked up from is defense against the dark arts book. It was close to full moon, so his eyes were completely black, and the beast inside was starting to wake up.

"How so?" He asked.

"Haven't you noticed? Sirius looks down all the time, and he doesn't hang with us anymore." She pointed out.

"Oh, yeah. That's true." Remus murmured. Mai sighed.

"Aren't you worried?" She asked. Remus looked up at her.

"Sirius is Sirius. He needs structure, a creature of habit… he's a dog for Merlins' sake. It's just tough for him that his best friend can't spend twentyfour hours with him anymore. James handled it quite differently when Sirius had his girlfriends and was busy all the time." Remus pointed out sourly.

"James was together with us, but now we're together, and he probably doesn't want to intrude. You must admit it can't be easy." Mai said, slightly angry at her boyfriend for being so emotionless.

"Lynx, you're forgetting about Peter. Besides, he is very welcome to spend time with us, but perhaps he doesn't want to." Remus said calmly, trying to patch over the small mistake.

"He doesn't want to?" She asked. Remus sighed.

"It has always been James and Sirius, Mai. And it will probably always be the two of them. We're actually just spectators." He said. Mai could detect a slight jealous tone in his voice, and realized that not being a part of the James and Sirius humor had hurt him. And she knew he was right, but she refused to believe that Sirius didn't want to be with them. They had been friends for seven years already. She sighed and concentrated on reading for the exams again, but thoughts of Sirius kept on flowing into her brain and she couldn't stop them.

It was the day of the N.E.W.T for potions. Mai was so tired from reading and studying until the early morning, she could barely keep her eyes open, but she had Remus on the desk beside her in the hall, and it felt as if he was giving her energy, just by being close. They had three hours to do the test and then they had to make a potion. Everyone was given different potions of varying difficulty. If you were lucky, you would get an easy one, but most had no such luck. Professor Slughorn had been quite strict about electing only quite difficult potions. Luckily Mai managed to get the love potion to look like it should, with the mother-of-pearl sheen, and the spiraling steam, together with the wonderful smell. To Mai it smelled like forest pines, apples and a scent she couldn't quite place at the moment. Slughorn applauded her potion when she was done, and told her it was exceptionally well made. That gave her a mental boost for the next day, when she would be taking her defense against the dark arts N.E.W.T.

All the marauders did fine though, on all the exams, and afterwards they celebrated with a butter beer at The three broomsticks. Mai realized that it had been a while since they all had gathered together, just the five of them. At first it was a little awkward, because Sirius was not his usual cheery self, and Peter (even though he always had been silent) did barely utter a word. Mai also noticed that Remus was acting strangely. He almost seemed uneasy, something she hadn't noticed with him before. When she asked him about, as she went to help him order another round of beers, he seemed almost distant.

"I have been thinking about something, lately." He said. He sounded grudging.

"It was hard to know what it was at first, but when I caught the smell of your love potion at the exams, I kind of understood." He said and sat down on one of the bar stools. Mai remained standing, already knowing what was coming, but she didn't want it to be so.

"It's not meant to be the two of us." He said. Simple as that. It was a clean cut, no fancy torture or nonsense. Cut right to the case. Mai shook her head, trying to shut his words out.

"I'm attracted to you, hell, I even love you… "He stopped, looking surprised, as if he didn't even know what words had spilled out of him.

"Then why are you breaking up with me?" Mai asked choked. Remus looked like it was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Because no matter what I feel about you, or you about me, we're not made for each other. You're meant for someone else, and I am made for…" He cut off again. The barmaid looked at them from behind the bar with glassy eyes. She had been drying the same glass five times longer than she usually did.

"Remus, how can you be so sure? I love you too, I love you… how can you do this to me?" Her voice was desperate and tears were streaming down her face. Remus stroked her cheeks, wiping them clean of salty tears.

"It's for you, love. I'm doing it for you…" He whispered the last part and let his hands fall into his lap. Mai saw the trembling of his lower lip, but still couldn't understand what this was about.

"You didn't smell my scent from the lovepotion? Is that what this is about?" She asked surprised as she figured it out. Remus looked up.

"Did you smell me?" He asked. Mai wanted to lie and say yes, but she hadn't. There had been someone else, someone she couldn't place.

"It doesn't mean anything. I'm happy with you." She argued.

"We were happy with each other as friends as well, we'll still be friends. We're like Sirius and James. We're best friends, but we're just not… right." He said and took her hands, dragging her into a hug. Mai tried to break free at first, struggling against his warm chest, but he was firm and wouldn't let go of her. Finally she gave up and settled with crying into his shirt.

Madam Rosmerta was staring wide eyed at the two teenagers now with a few tears strolling down her cheeks. "Young love" she thought and smiled melancholy, before concentrating on serving her guests again.

It was the end of yet another school year, but not just any year. It was the end of their time at Hogwarts, and Mai, still heartbroken from the strange break up with Remus couldn't smile truthfully when the photographer took a picture of the Gryffindor Graduates 1977. Remus tried his best to act normal as well, but the pain shone through. Mai couldn't help herself, and neither could Remus, so they still did those impulsive little things they had done while as a couple. Especially Mais' eternally fascination with his white scars. He didn't seem to mind though. And on the Hogwarts express home, she sat beside him, with his hand in her lap, tracing the scars absentmindedly.

"Why did you break up at all? I don't get it. You're both obviously completely not over each other, and you still can't keep your hands off each other." James suddenly pointed out. Remus glanced at Mai, whose eyes watered immediately. He sighed and grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly.

"It just didn't… work out." He said. James looked puzzled.

"I thought it worked out perfectly fine. You were so cute together." He said and nudged Sirius who sat staring out the window.

"Yeah, perfect." He muttered and didn't even remove his gaze from the window. James huffed and looked back at Remus and Mai again.

"Oh, by the way… Lily and I decided to get married." He said.

Complete silence filled the compartment. Even Sirius had turned around to stare round eyed at his best friend.

"You WHAT?!" Sirius and Mai yelled in unison. Mai laughed loudly, forgetting all about her own painful heart and flung her arms around James, hugging him tightly. Sirius, even though shocked, had done the same. His arms around Mais' back with James squeezed in the middle. For a brief second, Mai could smell a faint, but familiar smell. Sirius let go, so Mai could let go, and James could breathe again. The smell was gone before she could recognize it.

"I asked her to marry me, just after the last N.E.W.T, and after our night out in Hogsmeade. I guess it was a little rushed, but after the news about the two of you breaking up, I couldn't really understand why something like that could happen to you and if it could happen to us. It wasn't really thought through, but I asked my mom to send my grandmothers wedding ring, and I proposed the next day. Meaning yesterday." James explained. Remus and Mai were gawking like fish on land, not understanding his reasoning at all, but then again it was James. He had never had the easiest mind to figure out.

"I'm so happy for both of you." Mai claimed and grinned happily, Remus smiled at seeing her happy face. It would get easier in time, he thought bitterly, and glanced at Sirius, who also looked at Mai. It would definitely get easier. Perhaps if he told himself that many enough times he would believe it in the end.


	23. The strong current beneath the surface

22: The strong current under the surface.

After graduation, Mai left for Germany. It was… as she would learn later on, a terrible decision. She joined Die Resistance together with her aunt. It was the same as Order of the phoenix, which her best friends joined. She was also a member of The Order though, so occasionally she would be called to England for a coup.

She was in Berlin when the message about James' and Lilys' first encounter with the Dark Lord. It was a difficult time for Berlin, and she was not allowed to leave, no matter how much she wanted. So she sent her lynx shaped patronus to Remus to ask him to look after them. She knew he was the best duelist of the four friends, and she also asked him to look out for Peter. And Remus was the one she knew best, even though she would have loved to have the same relationship to Sirius.

It was June, 1779 and James and Lily had already defied Lord Voldemort two times. Mai was getting worried that their luck was running out, and it seemed as if they was as well, so she got a letter asking her to come to their small apartment in London, and stay with them for a whole week. Mai obliged, she would love getting together with her friends from school again.

Mai walked up the steps to the old block where James and Lily had moved in only half a year previous. It had been a whole year since she last had seen the couple, or Sirius or Remus. She had never had a tight friendship with Peter after the fifth grade, when he had started acting strangely. Mai had grown a lot over the last two years, and was now a grown woman at the age of nineteen. She had gone back to carrying her hair in a ponytail braid, because her hair always got in the way when out on missions. And she had bought herself a dark red leather jacket that was great moving around in and at the same time gave her a little protection from sharp objects.

She knocked on the door, and Lily opened up.

"Mai! Finally, come in, come in." She gave her best friend from Hogwarts a warming hug and Mai followed the red head inside. Their apartment was lovely, just like Mai would expect from the tidy couple, well, the tidy Lily anyway. There were a lot of warm colors and old, beautiful furniture. Mai could hear clattering of cutlery coming from what she assumed was the kitchen, and Lily showed her inside the bright room.

It was a wonderful sight awaiting her. All the marauders sat eating dinner around a small table, looking almost exactly like they had when she saw them last. Sirius, Remus, James and Peter looked up simultaneously as the two women walked in, and their eyes lit up.

"Lynx!" They greeted her with broad smiles. She could feel a broad grin cracking her face, and she ran over to them, hugging them all in turn.

"Wow, you look wonderful, just wonderful." James said. Mai turned to him, always the leader.

"And so do you dear Prongs." She replied. He grinned.

"Have Lily told you the great news?" He asked and moved his gaze to Lily who was beaming. James' look was filled with devotion and love. Mai shook her head.

"We've set the wedding date." Lily said. Mai could see that she was the last one learning this.

"When?" Mai asked. James grinned.

"On Saturday." Mai gaped at him.

"In six days?" She turned to look at Lily.

"Where have you decided on getting married?" She asked. Lily smiled warmly.

"At the headquarters." Lily answered.

"At the Longbottom seniors' old place? Wow, that'll be a ball." Mai said enthusiastically. The current headquarters had been donated to the Order by Franks' parents, for the time being. The Longbottoms were quite wealthy, and they had a large mansion out on the England countryside, just outside of Oxford.

"I know, wonderful isn't it?" Lily asked. Mai nodded.

"I don't want to be a party pooper, but, won't it be dangerous, considering the current situation we're in?" Mai asked, and glanced towards the table. Sirius and Remus seemed to agree.

"It won't be a much better time. Dumbledore says it will only get worse from now on. Voldemort has gathered even more Death Eaters, and it's only a question of time until they discover the Headquarter." James said logically.

"How about waiting until the war is over? Wouldn't that be safer?" Mai argued. Lily shrugged.

"What if we don't survive the war, Mai? What if this is our last chance to unite by a magical vow?" She asked and Mai could clearly hear her desperation. Lily had put a lot of thought into this, and it was not Mais' place to question their decision.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Perhaps a wedding is just what we need in these times." Mai said. Lily brightened up again and nodded.

"I knew you would see it our way. Come, you need to help me transfigure an old dress. You're much better at transfiguration than I am." She said and grabbed Mais' hand, dragging her out of the kitchen and into the bedroom.

"So how have you been Lynx? How's the situation in Die Resistance?" Remus asked Mai the same evening as she had arrived. They were sitting in James' and Lilys' living room, listening to the happy couple doing the dishes in the kitchen.

"I've been… just fine. I've missed you guys." She said and glanced at Sirius and Peter as well. Sirius dark grey eyes gazed at her like he hadn't seen her in centuries.

"The Resistance in Germany is well numbered, and the dark wizards are few, and luckily they don't have much recruiting, not like here. We're doing fine, so I expect to be able to come here and fight more often from now on." She continued.

"Dumbledore will be thrilled to have you." Remus said and patted her shoulder. Mai smiled.

"How have the lot of you been lately?" She asked. Sirius grinned.

"I inherited a vast amount of money from my uncle Alphard, because he enjoyed my break out from the prison, also called Grimmauld place 12. So I'm kind of supported economically for a long time, and I bought myself an apartment." Sirius said proudly.

"Wow, congrats Padfoot. Where's this apartment? I have to come visit." Mai claimed.

"Sure, it's just two blocks down from here. Remus lives there together with me at the moment." Sirius answered. Mai looked from Sirius to Remus.

"Oh great, perhaps you can show it to me sometime this week?" Mai asked and smiled. Sirius grinned.

"Sure."

"So what are you doing these days, Wormtail?" Mai asked and turned to Peter, giving him a scrutinizing look, hidden behind a smiling façade. Peter seemed to be carefree, but Mai could detect a nervous string in his answer.

"I'm living in my parents' old house; they were murdered a year ago, killed by death eaters." Peter answered, watery eyed. Mai nodded.

"I heard, I'm sorry for your loss." She said and touched his hand. It was cold and sweaty. Remus shot her a sharp look, but she ignored him and glued her stare on Peter again.

"Lynx, could I get a word with you alone?" Remus asked a little too sharply, earning himself a strange look from Sirius. Mai nodded and let go of Peters hand, and followed Remus out of the living room and into James and Lilys' bedroom. He closed the door and leaned against it. Touching the door and mumbling; "_mufliato."_

"Oh, you've learned wandless magic?" Mai asked eagerly. Remus nodded, but was clearly not interested in discussing his achievements at the moment.

"What are you doing? Peter have helped us a lot on missions for the Order." He said.

"Of course, but I don't trust him. Ever since I saw him hanging around the Slytherins, and my brother at Hogwarts in fifth grade, he's not been acting like himself. I don't get how I'm the only one noticing this." She answered, frustrated, glaring at Remus for not understanding, or at least giving her suspicions a second thought.

Remus looked even more tired than ever, and a few additional scars had been added to the old white ones. He wore a worn Beatles t-shirt and worn jeans and looked extremely tasty with his windswept light brown hair and clean shaven, muscular jaw.

"He's been our friend for nine years Mai, he's been your friend for nine years, and he's never given us any reason to distrust him." Remus said calmly. Mai huffed.

"I know he's been our friend, but you know how he is. If the dark lord got his claws in Peter, Peter would never have the courage stand up to him, or even sacrifice himself for us. You must know this!" She argued. Remus pushed away from the door abruptly and grabbed her shoulders.

"Listen to yourself Mai. You're getting paranoid. This isn't the you everyone knew. The Mai I knew, and loved, could extract the best in everyone, and believed anyone could be better, no matter what." He paused and sighed. "You were the hidden leader, next to James, the one we could talk to if something bothered us. What happened?"

Mai bit her lip and looked away, tears filling her eyes.

"I have these terrible dreams. One of them already came true, I don't want to feel like this again… I don't want to loose you." She cried. Remus stared wide eyed at her.

"What happened… Mai?"

"It's Augustine. They got her, and tortured her into insanity. She took her own life a few days later." Mai tried to keep her voice from shaking, but she couldn't stop it. She hadn't cried since it happened. It had felt so surreal, but now, after seeing all her friends, and dreaming about their deaths, she felt the need to do something. It was frustration rather than sorrow that led to the tears, but she had loved her aunt like her own mother. Remus stared shocked at her, before he brought her to him and wrapped his arms protectively around her.

"Shh, it's alright." He whispered and rocked her back and forth. Mai cried for several minutes, until she dried her tears and looked up at the werewolf in disguise.

"You should tell the others as well." Remus murmured and stroked a stray hair away from her face. Mai nodded.

Remus removed the silencing spell and opened the door. They all still sat where they had left them almost twenty minutes earlier. Sirius gave Remus a glare, until he noticed Mais' puffy red eyes and tear streaked cheeks.

"What's going on?" James asked as he and Lily came in with a tray of coffee and cookies. Lily saw Mais' face and coerced James into sitting down as she placed the tray on the table, gave Mai an encouraging look before sitting down beside her fiancé. Remus sat down as well and nodded at Mai who remained standing.

"I'm sorry if I haven't been the friend I used to be." She started and closed her eyes, shaking her head. Sirius' eyes widened.

"The last year… has been tough, well, not only tough… it's been terrible. I didn't want to be pitied, so I didn't inform you right away. My aunt, Augustine was one of the few elite aurors in Germany, and she was often out on missions for Die Resistance. In July, last year, she was captured during a mission, and they used the… cruciatus curse…she was… And a few days later she took her own life. I couldn't stop it, I had no idea, I thought all she needed was rest, and she would be okay… but…" Mai paused, feeling her throat being tied shut again. She took a deep breath and met Peters' glassy eyes as he stared wide eyed at her.

"I've been unfair to a friend I've known for half my life, thinking he might be a traitor. I've been getting more and more paranoid. I regret how I've handled things. I apologize to you Peter, for believing such terrible things about you. I thought I saw you with Marcellus in our fifth year, and instead of asking you about it, I walked around holding a grudge against you. I hope you can forgive me." Mais hands were trembling, and she cracked her knuckles to stop them from shaking.

"Please… forgive my poor judgment of character, and terrible thoughts about a dear friend." Mai begged her voice cracking. Peter nodded, unable to speak.

Mai hugged herself and stared at her feet. Not wanting to be alone, but still not wishing these looks of pity and sorrow. She couldn't handle it. Too long had she been the one everyone felt sorry for, what with her family and the troubles with her twin brother. She didn't want to be that girl anymore, the one they had to look out for. She did not want any help, not anymore. It was her problem, and she had to solve it on her own. A selfish thought in a time where no one could afford being selfish, but the people around her all had problems of their own.

"Don't look at me like that, please." Mai whispered. Sirius rose from his seat and touched her hand.

"Come with me." He murmured. Mai looked confused up at him, but followed him nonetheless. He brought her outside, in the bright midsummer night. The smell of exhaust and flowers blended into one, together with the dust from the streets and the smell of food coming from the house. Mai breathed deeply. Sirius smiled at her and sat down on the doorsteps, showing her to sit beside him.

"It's always easier to think when you're outside. It clears your head." He said rationally. Mai nodded, already feeling the thoughts of panic leaving her.

"You know, you should let her go. It's not right to let it bother you." He said after a few minutes in silence. Mai looked confused at him.

"She was my aunt, and she died while I was sitting in the room next to hers, how can I let that go?" Mai asked. Sirius smiled and looked up at the dark blue sky.

"She was a sensible woman, your aunt. And she did what I would have done in her situation. If someone had tortured me into insanity, I would not have lived another day." He said. Mai thought about it, and nodded.

"You're right, but it doesn't make it less painful."

"No, it doesn't. But instead of blaming yourself, you should try to learn to live with it. The pain won't go away, but it will decrease in time, and soon Augustine will be just a happy memory, not a tragedy." He said. Mai sighed, but knew he was right. She had been beating herself up about Augustines' death for a year already. It was enough now.

"So what you're saying is that I should try to remember her by the good things, and not how she left?" Mai asked. Sirius smiled and nodded.

"Whatever works for you? Remember her as the brave, proud and completely wacko woman she was." Sirius said and grinned. Mai actually laughed at that.

"You can be such a prick." She said jokingly. He placed an arm around her shoulders and squeezed.

"You know you love me." He stated in the same joking tone, and Mai laughed, but just as she drew a deep breath, a smell caught in her nose. It was a very distinct smell, masculine of forest and wonderful cologne. I took her right back to the day of her potions N.E.W.T when she had smelled her own love potion. And the day Remus had broken up with her because he hadn't smelled her from the potion. It hadn't made much sense back then, but with Sirius' arm around her and his dark smell in her nostrils she understood.

"Right, um, let's go inside. I'm kind of cold." She said hurriedly and rose quickly. Sirius stared confused after her.

"It's thirty degrees outside." He called after her.


	24. Thundercloud grey

23: Thundercloud grey.

The next days were hectic. Mai didn't see much of Sirius as he and James were out picking up stuff for the wedding, such as; candles, food, lots of food. The couple had invited the entire Order with trustworthy friends and children, and the guest list had ended at a well seventy people.

Mai tried to help Lily with her dress as best as she could. It had been James' mothers' old wedding dress, and it was very antique. The two women tried to change it somewhat using different charms and transfigurations. They renewed the star pearls so they gave off a beautiful light. They removed the long arms and made it strapless and with white roses embroidering the hem of the dress. It turned out very beautiful in the end. It was beautiful magic, just like Lily.

They also got a visit from Albus Dumbledore in own person. He was delighted to see Mai again, and had obviously heard about her aunt, because he condoled. Mai thanked him. He was also interested in knowing if she'd like to come back to England and fight full time for the Order. She had nothing back in Germany anymore, so she obliged to his wish, and he promised her a place to stay at the Headquarters for as long as she needed it. Mai appreciated being appreciated, and she felt better about herself afterwards.

After dinner that Friday, and the day before the wedding, Lily asked Mai if she could help her with something in the attic. Mai happily went with her. Lily was trying to find her grandmother's old necklace, because she wished to use it in her wedding.

"Why don't you just use a summoning charm?" Mai asked confused when Lily gave her a couple of boxes to start looking through. Lily laughed.

"Perhaps because I'm muggle born. I like to spend some time looking for something precious, because the delight you feel when you finally find it is without comparing." She answered her green eyes meeting Mais'.

"Don't you think so?" She asked and smiled cleverly.

"Sure, but I grew up in a wizard family, so I never really thought about it. My mother always used a summoning charm whenever she couldn't find something." Mai answered simply. Lily laughed out loud.

"That's not what I'm talking about Mai. Dear friend, I'm talking about love." Her charming nature was so delightful that Mai had to smile.

"Oh, of course. Isn't it like they say the one waiting for something good, does not wait in vain?" Mai asked and smiled, a picture of Sirius dancing in front of her eyes. He was carelessly handsome, with his long black hair swept back and his strong features and rough stubbles. Dressed in a worn and old black leather jacket, some kind of band t-shirt and dark pants. He was the born rebel, and always had been. He had always done everything to piss his hag of a mother off, especially when he bought the motorcycle. And he always made her feel better, no matter the situation. It was a great gift he had.

"So you have met someone special?" Lily asked eagerly. Mai chuckled.

"Not really, it isn't like that." She answered and continued messing around in the box. Lily smiled at her friend.

"But there is someone?" She pressed on. Mai sighed.

"Sure, there is someone, but it's impossible… and can never be." She muttered.

"How so?" Lilys' attention was completely focused on Mai now.

"He's handsome, funny, makes me feel better about myself, has this incredible laugh, wonderful eyes, a little reckless sometimes… but it suits him. He's everything I would have loved in a man, but it's impossible. He's everything I'm not, and besides… he can never know that I feel like this." Mai said and stared down into the box that was full of old and new artifacts. Some muggle artifacts she had never seen before, and old magical objects she had seen too many times already. Lily was silent for a couple of seconds.

"Sounds like someone I know…" She murmured and met Mais' guilty look. Lily gasped and slapped a hand in front of her mouth.

"No! Seriously? Mai?" She asked, working hard not to start giggling. Mai turned red and fiddled with an old potions test from James' days at Hogwarts.

"It's not that funny really." Mai muttered and started looking through the next box to keep herself from thinking. Lily burst out laughing.

"Oh yeah, it is." She managed to stutter between fits of giggles.

"Are the two of you alright?" A dark voice asked and Sirius messy head appeared in the opening in the floor. He had just been out flying his motorcycle again, and his black hair hung in tangles around his face. Mai had a sudden impulse of trying to untangle the knots, but bit it back. Lily bit her lip so she wouldn't burst out laughing again, seeing as Mais' face was turning red like a tomato.

"Yeah, we're just fine." Mai answered and glanced warningly at Lily whose eyes were filled with delighted tears. Sirius looked at his best friends' soon-to-be wife and then back at Mai.

"Sure?" He asked and lifted a quizzical eyebrow. Lily grinned.

"Yeah, fine." She managed to say without laughing. Mai sighed and nodded.

"Alright then." Sirius said skeptically and disappeared. Lily had the dignity to wait until they heard Sirius' footsteps walk into the kitchen before she doubled over in hilarity.

At dinner that same day, Lily kept on sending Mai gleeful glances. Mai tried her best to ignore her, but with Sirius as the other side of the table, she had a hard time concentrating. She could smell his distinctive smell from across the table, now that she was aware of it. It almost made her dizzy.

"Could you pass the salt, Lynx?" Sirius suddenly asked, and Mai looked up into his grey eyes, a terrible mistake. She probably looked like a confused salmon, trying to remember what he had asked her.

"Um, excuse me?" Mai whispered, not managing to bring back his question. Sirius raised a dark eyebrow at her, wondering if she was quite well. Remus saved the situation and grabbed the salt, throwing it over at Sirius who caught it just before it hit the table surface.

"Thanks Moony." He said and turned his attention away from Mai who had retracted her green gaze and sat staring at her plate, with pink cheeks. Hoping desperately no one noticed the blood flooding to her face. Lily, who had been trying to hide her fit of giggle, rose and disappeared into the hallway, mumbling an excuse about having to use the bathroom.

"Is something wrong Mai?" Remus asked concerned. Mai glanced at him.

"No, nothing. Everything is just fine." She said and smiled.

"Are you sure? You've been acting strange all day." Sirius said. James nodded, as did Peter.

"I'm fine." Mai said without looking at Sirius.

"Okay, Lynx is fine. Let's just enjoy my fiances' wonderful dinner." James cut in, looking from Mai, to Remus, to Sirius. Remus and Sirius nodded and gave up asking Mai about if she was feeling alright. Of course she wasn't feeling alright. She had just discovered who she was supposed to love, and perhaps she already did, and it was Sirius. Why did it have to be Sirius? Sure he was perhaps the most perfect man she'd ever had the grace of knowing, but he was just so impossibly out of reach. He didn't even look at her like a woman. She was "one of the guys".


	25. Until death do you apart

24: Until death do you apart.

It was just before the wedding, and Lily was getting dressed in her beautiful wedding gown, and Mai tried her best to help. Beside the mirror hung another dress in a deep green color, Mai supposed it was for the maid of honor. Mai helped her twirl her long dark red hair into a beautiful up do with twinkling pearls, and a long veil.

"Aren't you getting dressed?" Lily asked suddenly? Mai stared at her.

"Of course, I have my dress in my room, I'll just go get it." Mai said and was on her way out the door when Lily laughed.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry, I got so caught up in your little romantic problem that I forgot to ask. Mai Santiago, will you be my maid of honor?" Lily asked. Mai spun around, staring wide eyed at her friend.

"But I don't have any speech prepared." Mai said desperately.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to Mai. What's important is that you're there beside me when I wed the love of my life." Lily said seriously. Mai smiled.

"Then of course I'll be your maid of honor." She said and they both squealed girlishly.

Mai got dressed in the dark green dress Lily had picked out, and Lily maid her hair with one swipe of the wand. It was only half an hour until the wedding started, and the men had already left for the headquarters to make everything ready for the bride. Mai left in advance of Lily, and met up with the excited and nervous groom, together with the best man… Sirius. Sirius looked painfully handsome in his dark suit, white shirt and green tie. James was dressed smartly in a tux with a green and silver embroidered vest under the black penguin jacket, with a green bow tie. He had actually tried to smooth his wild dark hair back, but it was still messy. His brown eyes were so eager Mai could barely stop looking at his happy face.

"You look wonderful James. Lily is a very lucky girl." Mai said and gave him a good luck hug. James beamed.

"And I am a very lucky man." He replied. Mai nodded, completely agreeing with him.

"Looking good Sirius." Mai commented, trying to act cool, but she feared she was shining through. He grinned and straightened his tie.

"Sure am, it's not every day your best friend gets married." He said lightly. Mai nodded. He hadn't commented on how he thought she looked, something she would have wanted to know. Thinking back he had never given her a real compliment, except for when he wanted to borrow her homework, and that had often been compliments on her intelligence. Perhaps he thought she wasn't much to compliment on? He had always leaned more towards the blonde ones, like Isolde and Blanche.

"Oh, here she comes." Sirius said, and Mai rushed to stand where she was supposed to. Chairs had been set up in the living room of the Longbottom house, and now only the most prominent Order members and closest friends sat there in silent excitement and amusement. In the middle they had created an aisle which Lily, guided by Albus Dumbledore, came gliding up, like a goddess from a myth. They hadn't taken the chance on contacting Lilys' muggle family due to the dangerous situation in the wizarding community, but Dumbledore had courtly proposed to give her away on behalf of her father.

Mai was just as awed as the rest of the spectators. Lily, for a moment, didn't seem real. Like a fairy princess or angel. Her smile was as bright as the sun, and the glow from her skin was reflected upon every face present. Mai spotted Remus and Peter on the second row. Remus looked up at her with dark eyes, giving her a look that took her back to the seventh grade.

A small band was playing a wonderful melody as Lily floated up to stand beside James in front of the altar. Lily took James hand. They turned to the wizard presiding the wedding. It was a very proud, but small man with a singsong voice.

"Do you, James Potter, promise to honor and love this woman that stands beside you, and protect her by every means possible, until death does you apart?" The small wizard asked James who almost jumped up and down.

"Yes, I do." He answered and smiled down at Lily who smiled radiantly back at him. Mai felt tears fill her eyes and discreetly dried them away. She met Sirius gaze across from the happy couple. His grey eyes observed her as if he had never seen her clearly before. When he noticed her look, he grinned and turned back to the Sirius she knew, who looked at her like a buddy. Mai grinned back, trying to hide every ounce of feelings she might have for the man.

"Yes, I do." Lily answered. And they kissed as the wizard swung his wand over their heads, stars and glitter fluttered above their heads as the crowd cheered in wild delight.


	26. Wish we could be

25: Wish we could be.

"Congratulations, both of you." Mai said, emotion filling her voice to the maximum. Lily had tears streaming down her thrilled face as she received her maid of honors' hug. Mai wiped the tears of her cheeks.

"Don't cry my beautiful friend; it'll ruin your make up." Mai said smiling, and Lily laughed.

"Come Lily, it's time for the waltz." James said and came up behind his wife.

"I'll see you afterwards Mai. Ask _him_ to dance, it won't hurt." Lily said.

Mai knew exactly who Lily meant, but she had no intention of asking Sirius for a dance. It was completely unheard of. So instead she was left standing alone, looking at all the couples twirling around on the dance floor.

"May I have this dance?" A rough voice asked behind her. She spun around and stared into Remus' dark, almost black eyes. He smiled and held out his hand towards her. Mai smiled and nodded. He moved her out on the dance floor, keeping her steady with firm hands, and led her expertly around on the floor, between known and unknown faces. He smiled down at her delighted face.

"You're wearing the necklace I gave you." He commented and looked down at the small, blue pendant on her chest.

"Of course, do you want it back?" She asked and touched it. Remus shook his head.

"No, you will always be my special girl, no matter who might come after you. I'll just have to buy a larger pendant if there's someone after you." He said and chuckled. Mai stared up at him.

"I'm sorry we weren't meant to be Remus, I would have loved a life with you." She said truthfully. Remus' smile withered away.

"A life with a werewolf? Oh what a life it would have been." He said sarcastically.

"Do not mock my feelings Remus, you know I love you for who you are." She snapped. He subsided and nodded.

"I know, and I'm sorry. Will I ever find someone as beautiful as you? Someone as tolerant as you?" He asked and they stopped twirling around and became a silent island in a vast ocean as wild as during a storm.

"You will find someone so wonderful, that you'll forget all about me, and see no one but her, and her beauty. She'll make you tolerate yourself a little more, and you will both be as happy as you can be." Mai said and smiled. Remus let go of her waist and hand to hold her face between his hands, and stared deeply into her eyes, as if he was searching for something.

"You won't go thinking I can ever forget about you and your smile, Mai Santiago, because it will never happen, no matter what." He said darkly. Mai could not tear her eyes away from him.

"I know. Remus… I know." She whispered.

"Shouldn't you be looking for Sirius though?" He asked. Changing themes so suddenly Mai was left gaping. She stared wide eyed at him.

"Whatever do you mean?" She asked and took a step away from him.

"You can't expect me to be so stupid, can you? I've seen the looks you give him." He said and grinned at her, taking her hand and leading her off the dance floor. Mai could not believe she had been so transparent.

"Truth be told, I'd rather it be the two of you, than a stranger I have no idea who is." He said as they got away from the music and could talk without anyone listening in. Remus showed her up the stairs and into a empty room.

"So, did he smell right, was that how you finally figured out?" He asked.

"He… what, finally? What do you mean?" She asked confused. Remus smiled overbearingly at her.

"You have always had a thing for Sirius, even when we were dating, and even before you noticed it. You'd be quite perfect for each other." He said and smiled.

"I don't understand… " Mai stuttered. Remus smiled and touched her cheek.

"Of course you don't, you're not supposed to. Now go find him, I'm sure he's looking for you." Remus said and pushed her out of the room. She tumbled out in the hallway, with her head still spinning like a windmill in storm and anticlimax from her dance with Remus to where he was telling her how she had always loved Sirius.

Her heart was fluttering like a million kolibris as she walked down the stairs and gazed out over the crowd in the living room. She couldn't see him anywhere, even though he was a quite easy figure to spot. His height and black long hair often gave him away. She realized he actually wasn't there at all. Disappointed she walked outside to get some fresh air, and perhaps manage to clear her mind from all the confusing thoughts that was flapping around with heavy wings in her all too small brain. It felt like her head was about to explode from all the impressions. The joy she felt for Lily and James, the sad loss she felt for her aunt, the confusing feelings about her former boyfriend; Remus, the strange behavior by Peter and her strong love for a man that apparently had no physical or psychical interest in her.

She came out in the beautifully attended garden and stared up at the small moon high in the sky. All around it small stars glittered, but they weren't very evident when the sky was so bright. The air was warm and humid, but it didn't bother her.

Suddenly a very familiar sound reached her sharp ears. She listened closely, and was certain that someone had found each other and was now smooching in the bushes. She smiled to herself, happy that at least someone was enjoying themselves. Being kind person she was, she turned to walk back inside and give the unknown couple some privacy, when she heard a very familiar name moaned out by a female. She froze in her footsteps, not really sure of what to do. There was only one man by that particular name in the entire party, so she was absolutely certain of his identity. It was far more painful this time, no matter how many times he had unknowingly hurt her before. A sob escaped her, louder than what she had intended, and the two figures fell silent.

"Hello?" His dark, sensual voice called from the bushes. Mai didn't dear to breathe, if she gave herself away she would be making the humiliation complete.

"Mai! There you are!" Lilys' voice suddenly interrupted the silence that followed, and Mais' heart sank like a stone down into her toes. She thought she would faint.

"Mai, what's wrong?" Lily asked. She stopped right behind Mai as there were hectic sounds coming from inside the bushes and Sirius' ruffled head popped out. Lily made a strangled sound, it could be angry, it could be shocked. Mais' face had drained of all blood and was pale as a sheet. Sirius grey eyes were glued to her, and she could see shock, sadness and a pain in the thundercloud grey that mirrored her own perfectly.

"You… you man whore." Lily snapped at Sirius. It was probably the meanest thing Lily had ever said to anyone and meant it. Lily grabbed Mais' hand and brought her inside, into one of the bedrooms on the top floor. There Mai fainted from an emotional overload.


End file.
